Preparing toddler for new baby when I’m not even close to ready myself

[Aug2020]

I’ve posted before about how difficult I’m finding being pregnant and accepting that my DS will become a big brother, that I’m worried I’m ruining his life by having another, that I’m terrified it will damage our relationship and close bond. I’ve cried every day since finding out I’m pregnant and I’m increasingly feeling it is too much to bear, that I have another 10 weeks of pregnancy feeling like this, then baby blues afterwards while trying to keep my relationship with him.

Anyway. All that aside, me and DH need to prepare him for such a massive life change. Any suggestions of how to do this in the best way for him? I’m afraid I won’t be able to talk to him about it without bawling, and he’s going to pick up on my emotions about the situation and frighten him. He’s 2 years 4 months. Thanks.

Could you get your DH to read him this book with you sat next to him, and then answer any questions he has?

Ah I’ve got that book, hiding in a drawer...every time I think of reading it I feel upset

It’s a good idea to get DH to read it, thanks

If it helps, my dd was a similar age when I had my ds. I had similar worries to you (would it impact her?) but she adored him and being a big sister in general.
We got her a doll, you could do the same for your ds? You can get one here, along with a toy pushchair link and you can get a toy bottle on amazon. When the baby is here, give your son the doll and he can mimic what you are doing with the baby. You can also involve him in small things to do with his new sibling, eg: picking a top for them, or what colour socks.

Can I also ask, have you been in touch with your midwife or gp? they can offer additional support during your pregnancy/after birth for your mental health. You could also look into counselling online, from somewhere like this which is counselling specifically for pregnancy issues/concerns.

all the best x