Weaning nightmare

[Sophamum]

I have absolutely detested weaning so far. My DD turns one next week and her eating is so up and down. Today between 0630 and 1400 she has eaten 2 strawberries, 2 small crackers and 3 spoons of fish pie. I have tried giving milk before meals, milk after meals, (she always drinks milk whenever offered), I’ve tried purées, finger foods, not giving anything if she refuses food which means then she doesn’t sleep even though she isnt screaming with hunger she must be as she is normally a great sleeper. I feel like I’m failing and doing it all wrong, getting stuck in a viscous cycle of not eating and not sleeping. You read that food before one is just for fun but she is nearly one now and it’s causing me more and more concern. Sometimes she will eat really well but other days barely anything. I just don’t know what to do now and feel like giving up completely. Has anyone been in similar situations before?

How much milk is she having a day OP? Is she preferring to fill up on milk?

I think for a lot of small children they have very little they can control and sadly for us, food is one area they can! Here's some things I tried: I found that ditching the high chair helped - we use a little table & chair or a booster seat at the dining table. Using little bowls for different bits of the meal. Serving everything at the same time so yogurt (pudding) at the same time as the main meal so DS could choose what he wanted to eat. Letting him use the spoon himself. Weirdly ignoring him worked well - I used to do the dishes while he ate.

If he's not eaten his dinner I always give him something else - usually rice cake or a couple of oatcakes with PB or cream cheese so he's not starving when he goes to bed.

Cut down on the milk would be a good place start.......I'm assuming she's ok weight wise?

She’s having 3 bottle feeds a day, totalling around 16 ounces so I don’t feel I can cut this down further yet until she shows signs she doesn’t want it.

Thank you for your tips, will give them a go!

Think about what she eats over the week OP, rather than on each day - it’s likely she’ll be getting a more balanced diet than you think! Totally agree with another poster - take all the stress away from food, as this will only get worse if you force her to eat or make it an issue. Table and chairs is ideal, so she has some control over accessing food; you can try making up a plate with a variety of finger foods and leaving it out so she can pick at it throughout the day, keep offering it but with no pressure. Mealtimes don’t matter at this age! Sarah Ockwell-Smith’s Gentle Eating book is absolutely brilliant for tips and tricks, and for helping with understanding what’s normal and how to help your kids to develop a healthy relationship with food (and stop you going insane!)

Thank you, the book does look good and a different view point to what I’ve come across so far. Looking at it as a whole across the week is a lovely pointer, thank you