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Parenting

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Original poster

Any tips for getting through a bleak time?

9 replies

Leela31 · 19/09/2007 17:56

I am having a hard time coping with lack of sleep and the demands of an 8 week old and 3yr old. I feel miserable every day. Any tips from others who felt like this but made it through? Or just some comfort that it will get easier?

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juuule · 19/09/2007 18:50

It can be difficult, can't it? Exhausting as it is now, it will pass. Do your children have a nap in the day? Could you sleep then? I viewed the day as a 24hr shift. Didn't feel guilty about sleeping in the day and I would record films to watch when I had to be up in the night.
On days when you feel really tired, only do the essentials. If that's every day for the next 6months then so be it. Apply the 100year rule - in 100years will anybody be bothered that your house wasn't spotless today.
Go out and visit people. Chatting to someone can make you feel a lot better. Just getting out for a walk can make you feel better.
It will get easier.

PondusLector · 19/09/2007 19:17

Lack of sleep is hell, I felt miserable for a couple of months after giving birth. Have you any help? Don't be afraid to ask, or to accept help if people offer (I was rubbish at this). Otherwise I think juuule has given good advice, just wanted to offer my support xx

massivebigpantsface · 19/09/2007 19:32

agree with juuule, try to get out and about as much as you can. Take your children to a M & T or similar and let the 3yr old burn off some energy. Do you have any family who could help give you a break now and then?
Try and take the opportunity once or twice a week to have a long relaxing bath in the evening instead of a rushed shower - does me the world of good!

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glitterchick · 20/09/2007 13:32

Leela31 I completely understand how you feel. It is really, really hard BUT you must realise it will get better. In what way do you feel miserable every day? Do you have a DP or anyone who can help you?

lilolilmanchester · 20/09/2007 22:10

Apart from the tiredness, which is enough on its own I know, is there anything specific getting you down? Can you expand a bit more? Or is it totally the lack of sleep?

lilolilmanchester · 21/09/2007 22:12

hi Leela31, how's it going?

yomellamoHelly · 21/09/2007 22:28

8 weeks is a tough time, but thank goodness it does pass. (I have a 3.11 year old and a 9 month old.)

On particularly bad days I (still) bribe ds1 with a drink, a couple of biscuits and the tv on and explain how I just need to lie down for a little bit whilst ds2 sleeps. (Even just 20 minutes makes a huge difference.) Ds1'll then be in heaven because he's allowed to watch telly.
Otherwise I'll take them out to a coffee/book shop, so I get a caffeine fix and ds1 gets a browse.
Early on the house was also quite a tip and dh'd have to cook/shop quite often (still does after a bad day) so I guess the other way to cope is only to do what is strictly necessary to get through the day. I've still to start ironing again!
I dream of when ds2 is old enough to play with ds1 - then I'll be laughing!

Original poster

Leela31 · 22/09/2007 07:53

Things have been tough here. I've been diagnosed with PND and have been given an AD to take. Apparently, I am likely to feel a bit worse before better. I'm quite terrified by all this, to be honest.

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Amethyst8 · 22/09/2007 14:49

I know it is easier said than done but if you don t feel like doing something apart from what is necessary for your kids then don't. Housework etc or stressful outings etc. Get your shopping delivered and take things as easy as possible.

Had PND with my first DS but luckily not my second. It was horrendous. Didnt feel depressed as such but I used to have horrific thoughts about my son being harmed and used to have terrible anxiety attacks to the point where I swore if I managed to get through it I would never have another child. Did actually feel many times that my DS would be better off without me and I truly believed it. It does get better I still have the occasional anxiety attack but is easier to deal with now. If you have a good HV then talk to her. She will be able to refer you to services. Don t whatever you do feel too scared or ashamed to talk about how you are feeling because someone else has felt or is feeling it too. I actually had counselling when I was pregnant with my DD because I was so scared of having it again but in the end have been ok so far. I was glad that I was so open about it the second time round because people who understood were looking out for me HV, GP etc and I always felt I could ring someone if I got too bad. Just reading up on the symptoms can help too so you don t feel so out of control.

Also I got a book called Optimum Nutrition for the Mind and got some tips from that. Diet can make a lot of difference and you also feel that you are doing something proactive.

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