Hi my DD is 6 she goes to her nans and dads house every other weekend she always comes back different with more attitude and is harder work which I get as she has it easier round there and she’s an only child where as in my house it’s with my husband and our other 2 daughters. Anyway her dad wasn’t the nicest person he was/is aggressive god ADHD and many other bits which his mum always used as a story to his actions he hits and yells a lot doesn’t know how to control his anger and is forever drinking and on drugs. She only went round there and meet ups was through his mum for the past 6 years and my daughter has always loved it and come back fine but recently I presumed her dad had grown up a little and started doing all the contact and meet ups with him, I’ve no issues with him face to face yet but he mentioned to me at drop off that police had been called to his house this weekend and told me not to worry nothing happened to her. His younger brother started antagonising him so he has lashed out and started beating him his step dad got involved and his mum got hurt during it all to then the neighbours called the police. He claims my daughter was out the way and didn’t see much of it. I spoke to her about it and she didn’t seem bothered by it and said she didn’t know much about it but the past 2 days since she’s been back she’s been awful with the aggression she’s done nothing but bully and hit her siblings have an attitude towards me, the siblings tried to talk or start a game with her she will ignore them so they will keep going on until they get an answer of course so she will loose her temper because their nagging. She also wet herself today with no warning or comment saying she was going to do so? This hasn’t happened in years. I don’t know what to do or say she is very hard to get a conversation out of always has been she never speaks out always saying she has nothing to say or feels nothing and shrugs her shoulders I tried to have a chat and see if she could tell me why and what is going on she just goes I have nothing to say I’m fine. I suffer real bad with depression and feel like I’ve been failing as a mum as it is at the minute either crying or got a short temper myself (I am not aggressive or violent) I just raise my voice and walk off but this is after 100th time of the same thing happening I know I’m not the perfect mum with the best patience but I do try I do anything and everything I can before loosing my patience But because I do so I feel like it’s all my fault? I’m also very weak when it comes to her other side of the family I hate arguments and have always let them walk over me with Christmas etc I know it’s silly but I’ve never had a strong backbone. Please no hate I’ve just come here to hear if anyone has been through this or has any advice as I’m so torn on what I should be doing 😢
Sorry for such a long post
Thanks, Amy xx