Hi,
I don't really know where to start..but I'll try and hope it makes sense. I have 4 children aged between 13 and 2, three girls and a boy. My older 2 have separate dads, one who sees his dad regularly and one who very rarely sees hers, there have been a lot of problems with both dads over the years never been plain sailing. I met my husband 7 years ago and he took to the stepdad role really well, he loves them and has been really good to them, I now have 2 girls with my husband, one of which has some special needs, which is currently in the process of being diagnosed. All my children have very different personalities, but when they are all together it just doesn't work, separately they are brilliant but together just seems to be a disaster. My older two have a lot of anxiety and it causes a lot of stress when we go out somewhere, we can do something really fun but it soon becomes extremely un fun (not sure if that's a word) when it's killed with questions and crying fits. It causes SO many arguments between my husband and I, I dread going out with all of them and him at once as it becomes really bad really quickly and it's quite embarrassing at times when they and him all start arguing. I like to be quite a chilled person, I've had so much upheaval and uncertainty in my life that I have to keep myself calm to actually get through the day. I think it's this that has got me this far, at what point do I say that's enough? I've tried everything I can think of and have spoken so much to my husband about it, I just feel he can make something so much worse than it needs to be, and something can be diffused very quickly but he just can't seem to do that. He takes a lot of what the kids say/do very personally, when I can accept that they are just being kids sometimes, and tell them off and then let it go, but he seems to want to drag it all on for what feels like days...
It's now starting to affect my oldest daughters education, so much so that the school have been in touch and my family are now helping her..very kind of them but I feel even more like a failure, it's such important years for her and i feel like I'm messing it up..well I am messing it up!
My son is constantly crying for his dad when he comes back to me, which I don't tell him off for because I understand how hard it is, but it bloody hurts when he's not crying for me :(
No idea what to do, I know parenting is the hardest job in the world but I'm actually not doing a good enough job and am starting to let them down now so I need to change something. My husband and I are not very close anymore and I don't feel like I can share this with him as I will get all the usual stuff..it's just not working as a family unit and I think I need to accept that and make changes..anyone been in a similar situation and have any words of wisdom? Thankyou in advance 