Not seeing kids

[Pandy3784]

All 3 of my children live with their father (and have done for last 6 years) since the lockdown my ex husband has refused to let them see me/come to my home as he claims he doesn’t want them visiting other households and potentially putting his family at risk. I have told him that despite this the guidelines state that when children have separated parents they can move between households however he says that as he has residency he is making the unilateral decision that it cannot happen for now as I have my step kids coming to stay from another household and my partner is still working so he cannot take the risk as his wife cares for her elderly grandparents and his youngest child (with his now partner) has asthma. I’m not sure he can do this as there is a court order in place for access; I have told him that if he continues to breach the order then I will apply for enforcement but he says that until he is confident that it is safe then he is not willing to risk the health of his ‘family’. Any advice please

I would suggest getting legal advice but he doesn't sound like he's being unreasonable, and I don't think a judge would enforce the court order under the current circumstances. This is changing week by week and if the school's go back in June then you would be in a stronger position to ask for enforcement.

Ask for enforcement if it's ok for them to mix households it's ok for you

I can't seem to get my picture to post but it was guidelines from the family court top judiciary saying a parent is ok to unilaterally vary an order right now after taking into account risk of infection, any vulnerable people in the household, and risk to the wider community.

Another release was them saying just because a child can go between parents households doesnt mean they have to.

I have explained this to him but he says that he has to make best decision for his family especially as there are vulnerable members; he also says that because I have had my step kids to stay and he has no idea where they have been and who they are seeing it adds to risk and that I should take this more seriously and look at bigger picture. He says I should just be grateful that they are healthy and safe and contact them by FaceTime whenever I want to and that once is is sure there is minimal risk then access will resume as per the order. I contacted the court and they advised that I could apply for enforcement but if the judge feels that access is not being stopped unreasonably then they are unlikely to enforce the order however it was up to me to decide whether to apply or not.

Nobody in my household has had any symptoms

His partner also had the cheek to say to me that there is enough going on at the moment so why would I add to everyone’s stress by dragging this back through court! Thats all well and good but I haven’t had any physical contact with my 3 children in 2 months

I understand but he is probably also having to think of his other child who is asthmatic.

My picture with the court information on still hasn't posted I don't think. I think you would struggle to get a hearing and an enforcement with the current coronavirus situation, and I might be wrong but I read somewhere that a parent won't be penalised after this is all over if they've followed court advice. He should be making the child available for calls, texts, videocalls etc.

Since the picture won't post, this is what it says:

The Court and Tribunals Judiciary released a short statement with some general guidance which can be accessed using the following link:
www.judiciary.uk/announcements/coronavirus-crisis-guidance-on-compliance-with-family-court-child-arrangement-orders
A helpful exception at Regulation 6(2)(j) allows for children under 18 to be moved between their parents’ (or person with parental responsibility for the child) homes where their parents do not live in the same household, though this is not obligatory.
In short, the guidance to parents is to be pragmatic, highlight and respect one another’s concerns and communicate clearly to reach sensible and safe solutions. Parents should keep in mind their child’s best interests, and the safety of those of the family (in particularly elderly or high-risk members) and the wider community.
Those with parental responsibility are free to temporarily vary a CAO where this is necessary by agreement and should document this on paper, or in an email or text and set a date for review.
Variations can also be done unilaterally i.e. by one parent, and this is unlikely to have adverse consequences in the Family Court if the measures taken are reasonable, in the spirit of the original order, communicated to the other party and with suitable alternative arrangements in place for the child/ren to maintain regular contact with the other parent.
Fortunately, our modern world offers various alternative modes of communications such as:
Skype
Zoom
FaceTime, WhatsApp Video Call
Telephone
Emails/Texts and Photographs

I swear that had paragraphs before I posted!!

Thank you; I think I read a similar document when the lockdown started.
I have open contact with my kids and they all have phones so contact isn’t a problem.
He didn’t actually message me to advise that he was temporarily varying the order because of this issue I heard it from my oldest daughter by text message. When I questioned him about it he said that he was planning to at some point but is fed up with email ‘slanging matches’ and emails from my partner when it’s nothing to do with hiim

Why is your partner emailing them? I'd be annoyed if I was him as well.

He just feels that my ex tries to intimidate me so he feels that if he emails him he is less likely to but now my ex refuses to even respond to his emails now unless he can guarantee is speaking with me