Newborns can only stay awake for two hours...

[newmum234]

I’ve read this in several baby books now. My newborn (almost 3 weeks) is living proof that it’s not true! He’s been awake since 8 this morning, has barely slept since then and has been crying on and off all morning. I’ve fed several times (formula), burped and changed his nappy - now thinking of feeding him some more formula to see if that makes any difference, even though he’s technically not due for another hour or so. I’m just a bit worried that it means he could be unwell? What do you think?

Sorry, he!

As an aside, I'm now imagining what '70/80s Mumsnet' would have been like. I'm thinking lots of 'if he's tired he'll sleep' and 'babies cry - just leave him' not to mention 'rod for your own back' and 'get him in his own room or your husband will resent you'.

• based entirely on 'things my mum was told' and not in any way meant to bash those who parented in those decades.

I’m glad he’s got to sleep now!. I hope the huckleberry app works, it really did for me

Oh and we also have an ergo - you will need the newborn baby insert if you don't have one already.

The one I have just has different settings for newborn and baby (with newborn you have to fold it over a bit to use). I found a tutorial on YouTube which is helpful!

We are told to feed on demand, but until she regained her birth weight we were told to wake her after 3 hours to feed her if she hadn't already woken.

Baby has now regained his birth weight + 2oz. I would prefer to feed on demand (five or six times a day) as it feels so much better for baby IMO - sometimes when I’ve woken him up he’s just not been particularly interested in feeding. But when it’s on demand he really wants his milk and is happy to drink it down! However the midwife has said eight feeds a day is ideal, which will involve waking him.

Op it sounds like you're doing brilliantly. Don't stress about putting your baby in their carrycot for naps it's great if they'll settle for naps there - I think the other posters are just pointing out some young babies prefer being held for naps but if you're lucky enough to have a baby that'll settle in a cot stick with it ! I have three kids- two always needed holding or movement for day naps but the other would settle happily in a cot- I did follow the baby whisperer with her which helped .

My DD NEVER slept In the daytime as a newborn. She’d go 15 minutes all day, it was really hard, we tried everything! Dark room, swaddle, sling, rocking, pram, car! She just didn’t want to sleep. On the positive, she’d be so exhausted by 6pm, she’d be asleep by 6.30 for 13/14 hours (waking slightly for feeds)! My elder daughter hated being cuddled, the sling was her nemesis! By 12 months, she was absolute champion napper & remained that way until she dropped naps last month, just before her 3rd birthday. So long as she was in her cot. Only ever did 30 minutes in the car & pram 🤷🏼‍♀️

My 8 week old isn’t a great napper either although considerably better than big sister. Will do about an hour 2/3 times a day in the sling. Occasionally nods off in her swing. Does 30 minutes in the pram. She does around 2.5/3 hours naps a day. I was hoping I’d get a sleepy baby this time but alas 🙈 least I know it’ll get better hopefully! At night, she self settles happily so I know she can do it!

Ps. I love the Huckleberry app, it’s so helpful to keep track of naps & feeds.. it’s meant I’ve tried to settle for naps way earlier than I would have thought & it works sometimes!

If your baby gets themself off to sleep with little input from you then that's great. Dont go cuddling them to sleep if they dont actually need the extra input. You're doing fine with the method you're already using although you can always tweak it if needed

OP you sound like me when I was at your stage about a month ago. I also had a difficult start with both me and my son having sepsis after birth (I read on your other thread that you'd had a difficult start - I think it was you anyway).

I remember second guessing myself all the time over what I was doing, and if it was the right thing to do. It didnt do much for my mental health. Dont worry too much about where the baby naps and if its dark or not, as long as the baby is safe its not worth the worry about.

You sound like you're doing a great job.

I agree with everyone who has said you're doing a great job! Sorry if I didn't make that clear enough! I'm very sure I didn't know any of this stuff at 3 weeks and we were just muddling through, shell shocked and sleep deprived! Still am really, ha!

Don't worry!! DS2 was happy to sleep in the carrycot at that age. DS1 no chance :o although actually I had read the continuum concept and probably didn't give him the chance to try I did not really put him down for 2 months...

The babies who are happy to sleep independently are less common (and don't expect it to last... sadly...) so you will come across people who don't believe they exist.

Yes you should watch their "happily awake span" and try to get them to sleep once they're getting to the end of it, even if that means abandoning the independent sleep attempt and cuddling/feeding/carrying them to sleep, simply because if they stay awake much longer than this, it becomes increasingly more difficult to feed them and get them to sleep if that makes sense.

As for frequency of feeds, I don't think it matters too much - if he's alert when he's awake and is making the right amount of wet or dirty nappies, then it isn't too little. If you were feeding him 3 times a day I could see a reason for concern!

My two, both of them, have absolutely put themselves to sleep for naps at that age. As I said, probably because I just held DS1 literally all the time or he was in a bouncy seat which was quite soothing. DS2 was just chilled out in his own company in the carrycot and would go off to sleep like that too. Never liked the bouncy chair, to be fair his one was shit. I prefer the proper old school 80s ones you can't get any more.

@newmum234

Until about 11 weeks my baby slept for hours downstairs, in the light/noise, and in his Moses. We kept the days light until around 6pm.

Think we were very lucky but he would just conk out when sleepy, day or night! Had wake times of about 1 hour with feeds. Now is 15 weeks.

Fed 12 times a day up til then and that was combination feeding so included a few formula feeds. Also cluster fed like mad at 3-6 weeks and 10weeks (this helped my supply!)

However now he sleeps less in the day but still has 90 min wake times. Any more and he is grouchy! Doesn't stay asleep in the moses in the light really, sleeps more in arms or on our bed (supervised)

Not a brag just explaining similar newborn times xx

I had this issue. They get overtired and once they're overtired they're a nightmare to get back to sleep, poor things. Once he/she is awake, get the feed and change done then you're basically soothing them back to sleep.

@Letsallscreamatthesistene yes that was me - sorry to hear you had a difficult start as well.

I had the same issue again this morning so cuddled him for about an hour before placing him back in the carrycot when he was fast asleep. It seemed to work well! I may try using the sling tomorrow though so I’m a bit more mobile.

Sling worked a treat for me - I found the key to it was getting my son in there before he got overtired and agitated, otherwise he wasnt having it at all!

Also, ive just bought a new swaddle. My baby is in it now for his afternoon nap and its working an absolute charm. Im usually battling with him to get him off to sleep. Its one of those ones where they're swaddled with their arms up in the position babies like to sleep in, rather than wrapping the down. Id 100% recommend.

www.lovetodream.co.uk/

One of these

I'm pretty sure in the 80's babies slept better, I didn't have a single friend who had all the hassle with their babies that I see on mumsnet, then of course we were told to put babies to sleep on their fronts to avoid cot deaths. Now they are only allowed to sleep on their backs.
There must be something in this - anyone else have a baby in the 80's?

Yes, babies sleep more deeply when laid on their fronts but that's also part of why it contributes to higher cot death rates.

Also formula was denser and slower to digest in the 80s. And I expect some babies still slept badly! I'm not sure what the advice about room sharing was though, my mum reckons she was the only one of all of her friends to put us in our own room from birth and we slept better than her friends' babies. No monitor either, she just waited until she could hear crying through both closed doors!

It's strange to me tbh because she's quite an empathetic person and to me the thought of a newborn alone in a room is quite sad! I would worry that they were lonely or afraid on their own but she didn't seem to have that worry. I think babies were generally kept in the hospital nursery overnight back then, weren't they? Maybe that is part of it,if you were just used to them being on their own like that from birth.

My mum would never have left a baby crying but was happy to wait until the crying was at a level to wake her through two doors and a corridor, whereas I wanted to respond to my babies' crying immediately and didn't like the thought of them being upset while I was not there. But things like baby listening were common then as well, weren't they? Maybe people just had a different attitude towards babies. I'm interested in this too!

then of course we were told to put babies to sleep on their fronts to avoid cot deaths. Now they are only allowed to sleep on their backs.

I think this is probably a significant reason. It probably is more comfy and mimics a cuddling position. Obviously we need to do what is safest - but many babies, especially those with reflux don’t like lying flat on their backs. I wouldn’t even put mine down on the blankets and mats at baby groups - other mums probably thought I was really clingy, but I just knew he would scream if I lied him down flat. Bouncy chair fine, car seat fine, on me fine (that’s how he napped in the day) - carry cot and Moses basket, cry cry cry. It would take ages for him to get to sleep at night after a feed because at night I felt I had no choice but to lie him on his back in Moses basket while I was asleep to be safe. If I could have put him on his front I’m quite certain he would have been a dream. At 5 months he turned himself over on his front independently and was happy - I left him to it then!