Is anyone in the fence about ttc right now?

[Pantheon]

Just wanted to chat with others who might be in the same boat. In normal times, we would be ttc our 2nd dc now. Dd is 2. My dh and I are 34 and 35. We were lucky that we fell pregnant quickly the first time but who knows for the second. My heart is saying try and my head is saying wait with everything going on and the strain on the NHS.

Sorry, title should read on the fence

I think in your situation I’d wait a few months, if you conceived quickly last time you could do first time trying again and then have to go into hospital for scans when the virus is still about. Also check what the current guidance is for pregnant women, would you still be able to leave the house for walks?

Yup I'm torn! We planned to start ttc this summer so hopefully a newborn would arrive when my lo is 3. Now turn between not wanting lo2 to be in a big class of baby boomers, not being sure when a vaccine will be available and wanting to have another lo before we feel a bit too old for a newborn! Also got to consider if my job is going to be there as im currently furloughed. It took us about a year first time round but you just dont know when/if itll happen again.

@Intastellaburst I think you're right. I just feel so broody all of a sudden! But a couple of months isn't a long time to wait in the grand scheme of things.

@snowdropfox there's so much to consider, isn't there? I can't work out if there will be a baby boom or not, if all of us are on the fence!

Many people wont be able to go to the dr to get their coils etc removed so the boom might be a delayed one because of that too! So much to think about! Leaning towards going for it tbh.

FWIW I’ve a newborn and the consultant OB said that pregnant women and newborns aren’t more vulnerable to Covid and seem to have some kind of protection from flu and whooping cough jabs, which all preggo women should have. If you do get covid, it might not have any Ill effects on you or baby- but not enough is known. Being pregnant and looking after a toddler is hard enough. A vaccine will be eventually be out. Lockdown will eventually be eased. But you do run the risk of needing to isolate or having to isolate if you or your family catch Covid. Or it might be a welcomed relief not to be on the hoof chasing a toddler during early pregnancy days?! Waiting until there is a Covid jab available is probably the safest thing....but if you want more than 2 kids or don’t fall pregnant right away, etc. waiting a few months to see how this shakes out is probably sensible.
Good luck

Yes. We’d like a second but think it would be difficult as would like DS back in nursery so I could work, but think I’d be less comfortable with that if I was pregnant. So realistically I’d need to leave my job and that’s not something I want to do.

I've already posted on a thread very like this one but...

I got pregnant in Feb, we actually had the same dilemma as corona was starting to look very scary so stopped trying, but too late!

Being pregnant right now is scary. Antenatal care is very very different. I've not met my midwife, appointments have been over the phone. Blood tests have involved going to the local maternity unit where we have to sanitise our seats if we want to sit down. My husband was not able to be at the scan and I can't see anything changing in time for the next scan. It was scary as I knew that if there was bad news I was all alone and would have had to drive myself home.

On a less major but very annoying note, I get pretty bad morning sickness. Last time if I felt like shit but thought I might like something in particular we were 5 minutes from a huge Asda so we just went and got it. This time I am trying to figure out what I might be able to face next week and if I fancy something tough, not going to a shop just to satisfy a craving!

Also no family support, as I say I suffer from bad morning sickness (that lasts all day) the plan was that my son would see more of his grandparents, they could take him to the park or any of the pretty awesome local attractions. That hasn't happened, we haven't seen his grandparents in about 2 months and the local playground which is the only thing in walking distance that he cares about is closed. If I was throwing up less I'd be able to make our walks more fun, but it's a huge struggle and I feel so guilty that he is missing out.

Last pregnancy I was so excited and adored my DS from the second I got the second line on the test. This time I'm scared and feel very alone and can't get my head around there being a baby at all. And of course I feel guilty for feeling that which doesn't help.

I had my 3rd trimester and labour during COVID. Im not going to lie, it was all awful. I was on my own for everything, including the 5 day stay after birth due to sepsis (me and my son).

Id wait until everything is back to normal.

Thanks everyone. Lots to think about. We'll wait and see what the situation is each month.

So sorry to hear that @letsallscreamatthesistene it must've been very hard to go through all that on your own.

@Emmagen that sounds really hard and sorry this is your experience of pregnancy at the moment. I had awful morning sickness /all day sickness with dd up until about half way through so I completely get how tough that is even in normal times when you can buy the thing you might be able to stomach.

That's interesting about the jabs @itsmommy. We'd like 2 kids so I could wait really but I did imagine having both children by 35. But then we certainly can't control everything.

I’m 6 months pregnant, we conceived before Coronavirus, first baby.

In a way it’s fine because of lockdown- I can work from home (much better than going to work on public transport or a long drive when getting bigger), I’ve been able to go out for walks and do online exercise classes, and getting lots of sleep. I’ll miss out on NCT face to face, but will do this online and hopefully still meet people. We’re also not missing out on any big holidays as we didn’t have any planned because of the pregnancy. My scans have been fine, it’s weird but I don’t know any different. I have found the midwife phone appointments fine too. I’m a bit nervous about the birth, but again I don’t have anything to compare it to. Also my DH may be working from home still so will get to spend more time with the baby once it’s born.

Being in my mid 30s I wouldn’t have wants to wait any longer - it may take 2+ years to get a vaccine, or even longer / never.

Appreciate others have different experiences but wanted to provide a big of balance.

Thanks @MaisieMolly. It's nice to get a different perspective on it and I'm glad there are some positives for you. I do feel this decision would be much simpler if I was a few years younger.