Am desperate - considering GF. Argh!

[dinny]

Just had another crappy evening/night with ds (nearly 5`weeks). It's getting harder and harder to settle him by bfing every day. Really worried am making same mistakes I did with dd (never fell asleep by herself/months of colicky evening crying/knackered mummy and daddy).
Am I expecting too much too soon or should I really try for a routin of sorts? I did GF nap timings with dd from 6 months and she totally calmed down. DS just seems to get so so upset about falling asleep! Help!

Enjoy your cuddles

Skate - just wanted to say that at 5 weeks my ds2 was feeding at 2:30 ish and then a second feed at 5:30 ish. He could not get through until 7. 2 night feeds at that age is pretty good.

Dinny, I can totally relate to your frustrations. I honestly can. I'm determined DD1 will learn to settle herself unlike DD2 did. She sleeps so little in the day though and struggles to go off at night. It reallt tests your patience. I put DD1 on GF at around 8 weeks and she was a true pro at Gina. To this day sh'e 4 and no bother at all when it comes to sleep. DD2 I've been a bit scared to do the full Gina and have done Gina lite with a mixture of baby whisperer and Elizabeth Pantley. I found EP to provide really useful solutions for getting baby to sleep without beating yourself up and getting hysterical. I do like BW as she does explain about the signs to watch for although I find her book quite long and hard to find reference pages to look up in hours of desperation. GF is all laid out and I know where I stand. I don;t want to use CC unless absolutely necessary and so have tried pat..sh as per BW and using the suggestions of EP. If she wakes at 5 or 6 am I don;t beat myself up I give her a feed and not settle with water until 5 months. Then top up with 3 oz's around 7.30 to stay on track, She still can't go from 2pm till 6.15pm at 9 weeks so I still give a small feed at 5pm, it really does help. You will really become quickly used to GF and using it as a guide is brill so early on. I agree with sleep times. Never awake more than 2 hours, but DD2 still struggles with an hour and a half. I think ultimately I have seen improvement over the last 3 weeks and I SO hope it improves again. I was very similar at 5 weeks to you and still have many ups and downs but hopefully they become less frquent as time passes and you get to know baby inside and out! HTHxx

Ilanak - oh right, I didn't realise. Actually now you come to mention it, when friends ask what ds3 is doing sleep wise they all say 'oh that's really good, you're lucky' when I say he only wakes the once but all mine have done that so I'm just used to it.

I guess I am incredibly lucky then!

Hope dinny's night is going OK.

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Socci, we've been co-sleeping since ds was born. He starting to get really unsettled and upset in the evening (as dd did) and me and dh are convinced it's because we never put her to bed that she was so unsettled. BFing him to sleep in evening is becoming harder and harder each day (he is finding it hard to drop off).

Had Ok night last night as he just slept with me and helped himself to milk. Put him to bed at 7pm tonight and he is still not settled. Going to him every 15 mins to reassure/feed/nappy. About to give up and just bring him into bed again. This is so hard.

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I used to think that the GF routine was harsh (boot-camp -like), but after 6 weeks of struggle with my baby, I have tried the GF routine, and it worked!

My son was colicky, I was breastfeeding him for sometimes 2 hours at the time, he woke several times a night, and then fell asleap on by breast in a couple of minutes, I got mastitis, my son started loosing weight (that's after regaining his b'weight)...nightmare. Two weeks after putting my baby on the GF routine, he started to 'enjoy' the routine, was smiling more, looked ever more contented and sleapt through the night from 10pm until 7 am. Then, from the time he was just over 3 months old, he started sleeping through the night from about 8pm til 7am. Now, he is 11 months old, he is in creche, and he sleeps 12 and a half hours at night, he eats well, and an is absolute delight to have around.

Try the book, and I hope it will work for you as well as it has worked for us.

Dinny - I know it's hard, honestly, I really do, but it will get better, I promise!
I did sleep with my baby on me in the first 6 weeks after he was born, which meant I did not sleep much, I was only holding him. Then, for a couple of weeks, when he was crying, and I did not take him to bed with us, I was crying as well in bed under the duvet, while my DDH was conforting our DS, then me. :0)

Hi dinny,
Is your ds's weight gain okay? I tried GF in the early weeks with my ds but it didn't work because the bf wasn't working and the poor mite was hungry. Once we sorted these out he clicked straight into the routine and became a CLB overnight. In another of GF's books (complete guide to sleep I think) she does say that with very small babies if they're not settling in the evening it may well because they're hungry and so you should keep going in and offering milk until they settle. She says that mum's milk supply may be low in the evenings, especially if she's tired - I'm guessing this is you! - so expressed milk may be the answer.
I really hope things improve for you. Please keep posting and tell us how you're doing. My 2nd baby is due in 4 weeks and I'm keen to do CLB again, so I'm really interested in how it goes in the early weeks and how to do it with a toddler as well. Keep your chin up! viv xx
ps ds has always had a 5pm feed, when I weaned him I gave him his solids at this time (not after the bath as GF says). He has his tea at 5 ish now and a drink of milk and a story before bed.

If your DS is colicky, have you tied Colief (supposed to be amiracle 'cure' for colic). There are also 'Miracle Blankets' for swaddling you can buy:

www.miracleblanket.com/

I know at least 5 people who had 'needy' babies who swear by those blankets!

With my DS I used to top him up with a bottle of formula as his last feed of the day as I had hardly any milk left by bedtime, we used to call it his stun-feed as he would wolf the lot down and be out of the count ;-)

I hope thing are getting easier!

hi, i am feeling much much better as ds is settling down a`lot. i've just been doing what he and i want - to be close all the time - by carrying him in a karri-me sling (in evening when getting dd ready for bed) and carrying on co-sleeping. he's had cranial osteopathy which seems to have helped too.
btw, vivie his weight gain is fine - born 9lb2, now 12lb at 5 wks.
so, am feeling less stressed. oh,\and he's been smiling loads, which always helps!
thanks for all the advice!! xx

dinny
hope things go well over the next few days, really and truly these hard weeks will pass and he will settle, he's fairly big so he probably needed to feed alot for your supply to establish too. my ds was 11 / 2 at birth and is now 16 / 1 at 11wks, and he fed and fed. i spoke to la leche league counsellors too about my b/ feeding. i wasnt one for letting him feed when he wanted becuase it was exhausting me and i really aimed to strectch out the feeds as best i could. now at 11wks he still feeds every 3hrs (sometimes less but i know its either hunger / tiredness now)in the day and 4/5 in the night.

i have to drum it into my dd ear from 6.30 on, ssshhhssshhh baby sleeping so she calms down so i can feed him on the bed in the dark with her popping in and out, sometimes shouting! so i understand your stress there.

contact me directly if you'd like to talk on the phone.

p.s you asked me ages down the thread do i express in morn on GF routine, i dont cause its just too hectic with the two babies up at 7 7.30 but i am now trying to do it in the evening at 10pm instead.not very sucessful though

dinny - glad things are settling down a bit!

I am having very hard time still getting DS3 to go down in the evenings so have bought the No Cry Sleep Solution - no time to read it yet though! Hey ho...