Feeding to sleep

[Catarinah]

So our baby is now 18 weeks and has been fed to sleep since day 1, he's exclusively breastfed but my oh with sometimes give him expressed milk so I get a break. We can't seem to break the "feed to sleep" cycle, he will fall asleep if we dance with him and rock but as soon as he's transitioned into bed (we co-sleep... because he point blank refused the next to me and the rocking cot we've recently bought to try) he wakes up. So dancing or rocking with him is only convenient when either oh or I am happy to sit down with him afterwards with him still on our chest. He will sometimes fall asleep for oh when he feeds him a bottle but again when he puts him down on the bed he wakes, he's extremely sensitive to any movements. He even wakes if my oh puts him in bed with me laying there shushing him as he wakes and then he cries wanting boob. He sleeps in the car/pram but I dont know how to get him to nap (in bed) or sleep at night without boob. Do i just carry on feeding him to sleep?

Oh and just to add he doesn't have a dummy and point blank refuses to take one, which I'm secretly glad about

Hello, does he sleep for a chunk of time if you feed him? If so, I'd probably just go with it for a while...

I would just continue, he’s still so little and the boob is a source of comfort for him. If it’s what he needs to go to sleep I would just keep going. Our DD 22 weeks won’t take a dummy either (she has always been a dummy and bottle refuser!) and we are feeding to sleep too

Have you tried a non rocking basket? If it's when the movement stops that he wakes up it might be worth starting by feeding to sleep then placing in non rocking basket. They trouble if you have 2 habits now that he associates with sleep which are feeding/rocking. We made this mistake and would rock to sleep. We found that if we introduced a gentle ssshing noise when rocking, we could then reduce the amount of rocking as the ssshing took over from the association, we then reduced the time we ssssh'd for. I hope that makes some kind of sense.

Just carry on, it’s totally normal and fine to feed to sleep especially when he is so tiny!

I fed Dd to sleep for 2 years, and then explained to her that my milk had been drank and it had all gone. Absolutely no issues going to sleep.

If it works for you both why change it? You’ll have plenty of other things that crop up, I always go for the easy life. I promise you won’t be feeding your child to sleep when they’re at school

Feeding to sleep is a bit of a super power. He's tired and you feed him, he goes to sleep and that's brilliant,

You'll miss it when he stops doing it and many babies do naturally

He'll sleep what I imagine is pretty normal for a 4 month old (he was 3 weeks early too so I guess he's more developmentally 3 months). Naps are typcially brtween 30-45 mins, sometimes he'll have one long 2 hour nap. And nighttime is 7pm-6am with two, sometimes 3 wake ups (although that's gone out the window this week a bit with a combination of a bad reaction to his jabs and very high temp, the 4 month regression has arrived I believe and entering a new leap according to wonder weeks app!) That makes sense with the shhhing I do do it but not often enough for him to make a link, I'll turn him into Pavlovs dogs of shushing while dancing and feeding to sleep. Yes we've also tried a non rocking basket at my parents when we stayed there for 1 week... No joy. I think he's a classic velcro baby :) xx

I don't think there will be much you can do. It just depends on the baby. My youngest is 18 months, co sleeping and breastfed. She still wakes up a few times in the night and will not settle unless fed back to sleep. She wont take a dummy, I've tried (a lot 😂) She wakes if I go to the toilet no matter how gently I move. I've realised I had an "easy baby" the first time round and I didnt even know it, my first born slept through from 3 months and went in her own room at 4 months. She is now 13, so I dont mind the fact I'm still doing night feeds because I know how quickly they grow up ❤

Still too young to panic I’d say, they spend a lot of time sleeping at that age. If it’s working then don’t worry.

Aww that's sweet. Thanks everyone :)

I boob my 8 week old DS every night and don’t really think twice about it. I personally think when they’re so little you just do what you can to get through xx

I did this and when DD was ready it all sorted itself out do whatever is best/ most comfortable for you and you're little one

My son is 13 months and I fed to sleep ....as he has weaned and eaten more he has had less milk. I’ve worried the whole time about it and reducing/dropping feeds and tbh each stage has happened without me planning it! He now has one feed before bed and I’m starting to get sad it will end soon!! Just enjoy and I agree it’s a super power esp for those night wake ups!!

DD is now 8 months old and has fed to sleep for virtually every nap, night sleep and wake up feed since birth. I have no plans to stop. I figure she'll stop them when she's ready.

It is nice having the super power while I have it though. :3

And it doesn't mean you are stick either. I could go out and leave DH with a cup of ebm. I'm not saying she was 100% happy but everything worked out

Thanks for the reassurance everyone... Currently lying here feeding him to sleep for his nap as i type!

*stuck

Does the 4 month sleep regression also affect naps? He's now waking every hour at night after his first 3-4 hour stint, and only napping for 20 minutes every hour in the day... If he's awake any longer he cries wanting boob, I'm very tired!

Yes. The 4 month sleep regression is basically where they start sleeping in a more ‘adult’ manner. So they have sleep cycles. The reason they wake up is because they’re not used to this and don’t know how to get back to sleep.

This bit is where feeding yo sleep is a godsend!

Feeding to sleep is all i seem to be doing lately... 🙄😂

feeding to sleep worked for number 1 as he wouldn't wake up often in the night but with number 2 I have had to sleep train him as he would wake up every one to two hours!! He just couldn't tie his sleep cycles together without repeating how he fell asleep in the first place. So, if after 6 months you still have frequent waking I personally would teach them to self settle - which can be done without leaving them to cry!!

Really? How? I really couldn't do the controlled crying...

Nor could I - I got him used to sleeping in my arms rather than on my boob as a starter. He didn't like it but he was literally in my arms so he wasn't being abandoned. After a fews days that became the new norm. Then I lay him in his bed and I sat next to him and sang to him and he cried and was frustrated but that's because it was a new sleep association. He knew I was there though and after a while he fell asleep. I just kept doing that in the evenings (still did naps in the pram until he had nailed self settling at night). There is more to it than that but you can get a sleep consultant on the phone to help you - say you want to stay by the bed or do gradual retreat rather than controlled crying.

@Hazelwood1 amen to sleep training, we used the little ones program from 6 weeks after a few horrific nights of constant waking and me suffering sore boobs and sheer exhaustion, and it meant when I went back to work he was having set naps and sleeping all night