Worried about baby's development

[SteeplechaseAva]

My little girl is 12 weeks old, but was born at 35+6 so I would expect her to be along the lines of an 8 week old. She still struggles to hold up her head, and can only do it for 3 or 4 seconds at a time when on her tummy. She is smiling but it's difficult to get two or three from her each day. She only really has one cry, and I read that by now I should be able to tell if she is crying because she's hungry, wants a nappy change etc. She isn't very interested in toys at all and doesn't really look when I try to show her them. She does watch me however and will follow me around a room with her eyes. Am I expecting too much of her or should I be concerned?

I can remember reading that thing about the different cries and thinking there was something wrong. My DS just cried, all of the time. Maybe it was me but I really couldn't tell at all

With her being born prematurely, it might be worth posting in the Prem Bosrd in MN to see if it's a common thing.

Thanks, I'll give that a go :)

Agreed - my son cried all the time and I never figured out what he wanted. He only had one cry too- or at least if he had more I didn't figure out what they meant! People told me they knew what their baby wanted from their cries and I felt rubbish but honestly, as the mother or a 19 month old now, thst really doesn't matter. I worroed about every tiny little thing- but looming back, he was absolutely fine.

The only cry I could identify was the hunger one. For both DDs was a very distinct "LAaaaa". But to really think about it it became clearer as they got slightly older

Thanks @surreygirl1987 & @grey12, I think I can stop worrying about the crying then :)

What about the head lifting, does that sound relatively on track? Admittedly I've probably done nowhere near enough tummy time with her, so I'm probably to blame if she is a bit behind there

I wouldn't worry about tummy time too much either OP. My ds HATED it, so we didn't do it very often at all. He's a fairly regular 4yo now!

I don’t think you should worry about it too much. My son wasn’t premature but he did spend a long time in the NICU and as a result he had hypotonia (muscle weakness, floppiness). He absolutely hated tummy time! Like you we were a bit worried about his development. As it turned out, he was a little delayed in crawling (11 months) and walking (17 months) but after a couple of physiotherapy sessions he was fine. He is now a normal healthy 2 year old. FWIW he wasn’t at all interested in toys either until he was about 1!

Just keep doing what you’re doing. Lots of eye contact, big smiles, talk to her from different sides so she has to turn her head or from her feet so she has to look down her body at you when she’s lying on her back (both exercises will strengthen her neck), show exaggerated excitement and make a fuss over the toys you show her to keep her engaged. It will be OK!

And remember she’s still very young!

Also, I agree with @surreygirl1987 - I worried about absolutely everything and was always Googling to find out if something was wrong. It seems ridiculous now !

Yes, seriously, my boy was SO so miserable but he's a delight now. He just hated being a baby.
As for the headlifting thing, I'm not much help on what's 'normal there because my son had torticollis (a neck injury from his delivery) which meant he was a bit wonky and had a tilt and one weaker side. That didn't help my anxiety! So we had to give him tons of tummy time which he hated. But he's perfect now, apart from turning one foot out a little too much when he walks. So there really is a wide spectrum of what's 'normal' and for a 12 week old you really can't expect too much at that point. Gosh my son at 12 weeks pretty much just sat there and cried and slept and drank milk and pooped. I don't think he was interested in much at all but he did watch what was going on in the room, like yours does

Hi! DS was born at 34 weeks but has always seemed so much younger. He’s 1 now but is still ‘behind’ with regards gross motor development. I’ve learned there is such a wide spectrum of normal development.
What it’s worth i never have been able to and still can’t distinguish between cries, I only know when he’s really upset when there’s actual tears.
He also hated tummy time and it took him a long time to be able to hold his head up when I’m his front. He was probably about 7 or 8 months before he was happy on his belly.