How would I know if my baby was ill?

[VodkaCranberry2]

Mum to a 4.5 week old here and constantly paranoid that he’s ill. Always taking his temperature and asking my partner if he looks okay. I was just wondering how you can tell if a baby is ill? My baby is sleeping okay, eating lots, alert when awake, and his temp ranges from 36.4-36.7. Is this a normal temp? Sometimes he feels hot but his temp is always okay. I have super bad health anxiety.

Completely normal temp.

If the nappies change, particularly if they're dry.

If he won't eat.

If he's crying and can't be comforted, if he seems like he's in pain and not just hungry/needs a cuddle.

If he is extremely sleepy/can't be woken.

If he has a fever (temp over 38 degrees).

If he has a rash.

None of these are necessarily serious, but worth keeping an eye on/seeking advice advice, particularly where he has two or more of these symptoms at the same time.

Thank you @selfsettling3

Thank you @NuffSaidSam

I mean this very gently but you need to seek help for your anxiety because you have a long road of parenting ahead and you are going to make yourself ill with constant worry if you carry on like this.

@thesearmsofmine I’m in therapy, have a CPN as I have bipolar disorder and have had CBT for it but unfortunately it’s come back since having a baby... I was doing really well as well!

It's a really anxious time and you have my full sympathy as a mother of a one week old! An unwell baby may be pale, doesn't handle well (maybe floppy or extremely irritable), temp, rash, consistently dry nappies, not taking feeds etc. Most importantly to mention is you WILL know so be kind to yourself xx

I think when they are babies and especially when they are so tiny it’s difficult but when you get more confident with what is their normal and when they begin to socially interact it becomes easier to spot when they are not well.

I think it’s normal to an extent to worry about these things - I used to always worry about temperature, if she was too hot or too cold etc. Over time your confidence grows and you just trust yourself to know- also it’s easier when they are bigger and not so fragile.

On the temperature thing. My now 15 month old feels unusually hot to touch all the time (even nursery have commented), but his temperature was always fine. I worried on and off and did many temperature checks until he got his first fever around 12 months, and it was obvious - he was trying to sleep on top of me (he does when unwell) but he was scorching, way too hot on my skin for me to sleep. Try not to worry, it will be clear when your baby gets hotter than usual.

You've had lots of great advice here OP I just wanted to add something else - trust your gut. You're a loving mother and if something was wrong I have no doubt you'd pick up on it very quickly. Try to reassure yourself that if you have checked DCs vitals and you feel deep down that you're 'being silly', then you are doing everything right and he is fine. If one day you notice something off, talk to a professional. I completely understand how anxious you can get when a baby can't articulate their problems. 'Trusting my gut' and trying to ease myself from constantly checking really helped. For the record I have OCD and twin babies so I needed to find a way to stay in control over my anxiety and this really helped me x

Yes definitely trust your gut. You know your baby best. A paediatrician once said to me if your worried then we are worried.

I think what you're experiencing is totally normal. I used to be amazed that my baby even survived the night in the first few weeks. I do think - and DS is only 9 months - that to a large extent, you just know when something's not right. I'm lucky in that DS is very healthy but there was one day where he just seemed a bit unsettled and not quite himself. That afternoon, we had a lovely batch of diarrhoea and a projectile vomit and then he was as right as rain. I just knew something wasn't right and luckily it was fine and no big deal. Your baby's normal soon becomes very familiar to you.