Life with a newborn - am I missing something?

[daisy86]

I’m settling into life with my firstborn, who is now two weeks old.

I’m unable to breastfeed at the moment sadly (a whole other story) so baby is formula fed.

So far things are going ok, but I’m worried that I’m not doing enough for my baby.

He basically just sleeps for a couple of hours, wakes up for feeding, I feed and burp him and change his nappy and then he falls back to sleep again until the next time. I’ve been putting him in his pram when he drops off so I can get on with other things.

I’m not able to bathe him yet as his cord is still attached, but have top and tailed a couple of times.

Is there anything else I should be doing for my baby apart from this? It just doesn’t seem enough!

Mine were both prem so the newborn that does nothing stage lasted months for us. Just found when they were awake, even if for a few minutes, just talk to them about a load of nonsense. X

Sounds like you guys are doing amazing.

You can't keep it wet for a length of time. Don't soak him in the bath for fifteen minutes. Dip dry carefully after the bath. Other than that, you'd be pretty good.

Enjoy, if you are feeling well after the birth and the baby is happy, it really is the most amazing time;

Enjoy and contrary to another poster yes it may last!!

you are doing perfectly OP

i would like to point out to any nearly new mums or new mums reading this thread, that this is one type of normal - there is another type of normal that is very very different - it is the luck of the draw unfortunately and you are not doing anything "wrong".

sorry for jumping in OP but had to say that as my first was very much not boring, second just like yours.

Perhaps I’m not cuddling him enough?

I doubt this very much if youre having after feed cuddles and then putting him in the pram once asleep, that isn't a bad thing, it means you can get on with other things and he'll be used to being in there when it comes to you putting him down to naps when he's older and still awake.

@daisy86 nooooo I'm sure you are! I just meant enjoy the cuddles as they're so lovely at that stage. If your baby sleeps well in the pram or cot then carry on 😊 just enjoy being with your baby and getting to know them, it goes so quick! My little girl just turned 1 and I feel like she was only a newborn 5 minutes ago

I've always thought the newborn stage is easy, they just zonk out from their bottles etc, it's whne they get to about 5 weeks etc not all babies but when the colic, reflux etc kicks in, then after a few months of not sleeping you think seriously I've been up every night for months, then the teething starts, then they start jumping on your head and clappi g at 10months old, then you try to get them into bed at the same time every night when they are 1 or 2 and you sit there for hours, then creep out to find they are still awake so enjoy this moment haha oh god I've just de-brooded myself reminding myself of all that

Awww you're doing exactly what needs doing op. You can't cuddle him when he's asleep lol. I was all over the place with dd so you sound like you have it all together.
Congratulations on your db

@maybeimweird don't frighten op!

There will be time for cuddles really soon! This stage wont last forever. Enjoy the time to recover from the birth, look.at your baby sleeping and relax. You will notice a drop in sleeping at some point and as time goes on waking hours will increase and you will notice (hopefully) a sleeping pattern.

You're doing brilliantly! Never doubt your instincts as a mum! Just enjoy the cuddles and talk to your baby - they'll love hearing your voice

I remember that feeling well!! Enjoy it while it lasts and before the visitors are allowed to come....that was what stressed me out the most!

So glad you asked this and to see everyone’s replies.

My dd (first baby) is 6 weeks today and we have the same routine as you, but all the other mums in our antenatal group talk about dedicated play time, cuddle time, story time, activity time - I tried play time and because she’s so young it got very boring very quickly and I ran out of ideas of things to do 😢
I looked on the nhs website for ways to play with and engage a newborn - a couple of minutes tummy time, singing to them and making faces is plenty and we were doing that anyway so I’m trying to compare less to the other mums and remind myself they prob won’t put it in the WhatsApp group when the baby sleeps for three hours and they use that time to binge watch Netflix and get a wash load done! Sounds like we are the lucky ones so I’m going to try and beat myself up less!

*I thought you weren’t meant to bathe them until the cord drops off because you’re not meant to get it wet?

We didn’t. I read the same. He didn’t need it anyway - fine with a wipe down.

Thank you for posting this. We have another on the way and I’ve been panicking a bit (our son is 2 now and is into everything). We did get off very easily the first time - sleeping through quite early and just a very chilled baby. Fingers crossed for another! 😁

You are being a perfect Mum by the sound of things. I used to put my two children in the pram years ago when they were babies,and then get on with a few things.A nice little routine is best for the baby.

I haven’t done any tummy time - I guess I’ll need to wait until the cord drops off?

Congratulations. You're doing amazing. I posted a very similar post when my baby was born 9 months ago. I was so worried I wasn't doing enough. You're doing great. Enjoy it

It's never too early to start tummy time just keep it short and sweet so that your baby gets used to the idea - it will help so much in the long run with their development 💕

Please don’t worry, you sound like you are doing wonderfully. Just keep doing what you are doing. Gradually they get more alert, but even then, just hearing your voice / singing etc is more than enough.

You will probably find as baby gets older you both get into a bit of a routine, and know when to expect naps etc.

It all gets a lot more fun and interesting as they get older I have found. For now, just try and rest, and enjoy the fact your baby is so content.

Just enjoy it and get as much sleep as you can! You'll know if they need anything else! And make the most of sitting and watching tv while they don't need following about. They sleep a hell of a lot at this stage. Make the most of it!!

I found ‘Your Baby Week by Week’ very handy for these (completely normal) worries (and please be aware that Health Visitors etc may unnerve you by saying ‘let us know if anything isn’t normal’ and you may think ‘how do I know what normal is?’ And you have to explain that you have no experience at all of tiny babies (my lovely HV was nonplussed that I didn’t have tonnes of family locally with babies for me to have practised on but once she got that she was very helpful!)).

Well done you.

The 'not giving a bath until the cord thingy has fallen off completely' thing is fairly new but just do your own thing and try not to be put off by any comments. We didn't give our son his first bath until 3 and a half weeks and it felt right for us.

Enjoy it while you can, OP. It won't last lol.
Make sure to give him plenty of eye contact and give him tummy time (on the changing mat after a nappy change is a good time) when he's awake. Try not to overstimulate with activity mats and such yet.
You're doing great

I wouldn’t worry about tummy time yet.
I think on average (if you’re lucky enough to get a content sleepy newborn) they start to “wake up” at about 4 weeks ish.
For at least the first 3 months they’ve no idea they’re not still part of Mum. You might find reading about the “fourth trimester” interesting.
I agree you can start baths straight away if you want to. They don’t need any more than you’re already doing though. If you’d enjoy sitting and having a cuddle during naps then do, but you’d not have to. As others have said, enjoy this time and try to rest!

You are very lucky. I had the 'other' kind of newborn (shudders). But that's just the luck of the draw!

Seriously, enjoy it. You're doing nothing wrong. They're just really boring.