Please help ....sleep problems that I can't solve

[Loufer]

Hi there I was wondering if anyone could help or has any good tips or ideas.
So my DS is 5.5 months old and since he was only a few weeks old has always struggled to get himself to sleep. He suffered with suspected colic for the first 10 weeks but now I think it wasnt colic but it was this issue of not being able to settle to sleep.

We have a vibrating bouncer that sways side to side and a swing but neither of those have ever worked to get him to sleep. The only way he will go to sleep for naps and nightime is rocking even just a small bit of rocking will send him off. He has only ever fallen asleep in my arms a few times when he was a lot smaller.
Up until about 4 weeks ago he was sometimes able to settle himself to sleep in the cot at night time only and would sleep 11 or 12 hours waking once for a bottle and settle himself back of to sleep again. But for the last 4 weeks he just screams and gets so worked up and angry when going down for naps or bedtime. He is also waking around 6 times every night.

I have tried putting him in the cot before he starts getting grumpy and have followed appropriate awake hours for his age but it still doesn't work. We do a bedtime routine of bath bottle sleeping bag and books in the bedroom with dim lighting but nothing seems to make a difference. Have so tried doing the same without a bath He just gets so stressed going to sleep. I have just started trying pick up put down but it doesn't seem to be working and I still have to rock him ever so slightly because he gets so worked up and stressed that when he does eventually nod off he is literally whimpering in my arms as he falls asleep.

I have tried co-sleeping but it doesn't work either, he behaves the same in the bed beside me as he does in the cot

I will be returning to work soon and my DM will be looking after him and I really want to have this sorted so she doesn't have to deal with him screaming the house down and a constant battle when putting him down for a nap.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated i am really at the end of my tether and would love to help him calm and go to sleep easily it's so stressful everyday. He is happy throughout the day but the minute he gets tired he starts whinging and crying and gets very cross.

Unfortunately, I think you might be expecting a little too much. He does settle, it just takes a bit of rocking and that is normal fur a baby.

One thing you could try is doing the bottle last, so bath, books, bottle to see if he settles better.

I really wouldn't stress though. Your DM will find their own way of setting him, my DPs and DPIL used to take our DC out for a walk or put them in the pan in the hallway to sleep. It worked fine

This needs to be a very slow process and you need to think of the least interventions possible instead of trying more. New habits take ages. Start by focussing on the day time naps. Have a very definite pattern to them, eg curtains closed, nap in the cot in the bedroom, nice cuddle song soothe whatever and lay him in his cot. Some babies like to be semi swaddled in a sheet. If he gets worked up, sit beside the cot and stroke and soothe him, Ignore the stress, keep calm and relaxed. The aim is to calm him down in the cot with you beside him. This will take some time and at first you will feel stressed. Do not leave until he is settled. After this is established you can strat to do a gradual withdrawal. For your own sanity it is useful to keep a diary of how long it takes to calm each day. Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better, Consistency is vital, Just the same every dsy so he knows what to expect. Some babies get fretful when they are overtired, so timing is also an issue

He is a baby and it too little to put himself to sleep.