How to stop breastfeeding

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Hello 👋

I would like some advice on how to stop breastfeeding. DD is 17 months now and still feeds regularly-when she wakes up, to get her off for her afternoon nap and before bed.

She eats well but will not take much water from a cup and not any cows milk at all. This is what bothers me and I think now it is time to be ruthless and get her to the next stage of successfully drinking from a cup.

By the way, I know how ridiculous that sounds that my baby prefers the breast over the cup at her age. What I am asking for is advice on how I physically stop feeding. Do I just keep my bra on and let her scream?

Can you imagine if the only comfort you have ever known suddenly disappeared? Weaning should be a gradual process, both for her and you. You don’t want to risk mastitis or even mental health problems triggered by hormones due to suddenly stopping breastfeeding.
Decide when she can have a feed - morning and evening? For her nap? If she asks at other times, offer her a drink and a snack and/or start an activity she enjoys to distract her. Once she’s asking less, you can start to reduce the other feeds.

Is she feeding 3 times a day? I personally would do it slowly, for you and her.
I think I did some gentle weaning, I honestly can’t remember how. I think I stopped offering one of the feeds and distracted him.
Then down to only night and morning.
I think eventually he stopped. I didn’t want to stop it before he wanted to but I was also quite pregnant and sore.
Give lots of fruit / veggies with water in them too. Watermelon, cucumber...
And no, not silly they prefer the most comforting thing to a piece of plastic. Perhaps an open cup would be better, so it is not a replacement but a different thing?
Introduce a new thing for you two, a cuddle or a game, to have another comfort.
I know how it feels when you want to stop but they are not ready.
Slowly, and progressively is better I think.
I fed until almost 3 yo and he doesn’t remember it but he still talks about the boobs with such comfort.

Thanks for your advice. I had dropped the middle of the day feed when I went back to work and now during the lockdown we/I regressed back to it. Will have to start again...

I agree with pps, it'll need to be a gradual process again. Start with the nap boob, then morning and then eventually the night one. It might take another 6 months but you'll get there.
Have you tried different cup styles? Offer lots of watery things like cucumber and watermelon, get the dairy in through yogurt etc. Keep offering cups with a little liquid in it (so not to waste or make too much of a mess if spilled!) And it'll click eventually.

Oh and I was also going to say if you stop boob, just keep an eye on wet nappies. If lo is dehydrated you'll soon know!
Oh and homemade ice lollies can be a good shout too!

Thank you. So when I drop nap boob and he's crying do I just let him cry?

She's crying!

At that age, there is a level of understanding and you can introduce a time limit or countdown and reduce the time. Is there an alternative comfort that they like?

DWIW, DS basically dropped all day boob by himself about 18 mo as food got more interesting to him

But, you have just described her as a baby- she still is and 3 feeds a day is not really a lot.

@Bienentrinkwasser Can you imagine if the only comfort you have ever known suddenly disappeared?

I agree with you about gradual weaning but this is a ridiculously hyperbolic statement. If at 15 months breastfeeding is the only comfort a child has ever known, something has gone badly wrong along the way.

I'm sure you were trying to be helpful, but your phrasing was very heavy handed and rather reminiscent of a guilt trip.

I was breastfeeding my daughter twice a day at that age. We did stop very gradually, just morning and night at 1 year then dropped to just a bedtime feed at 2 years. She never drank cows milk (but will have it in food like on cereal) but gradually drank more water. She had a free-flow sippy cup for water - because she never took to a bottle she couldn't work out a cup with a non-spill valve as you have to suck. Can someone else put him down for his nap so he doesn't want milk from you? Or just drop it when you go back to work after lockdown. I dropped the daytime feeds by going back to work.

I started cutting down at one year very, very gradually - think literally one feed per month. By 16 months we'd stopped. Gradual is key imo (although perhaps not quite as slow as I'd done it!)

Oh OP it is difficult. I suck at crying babies so I would just boob and then naturally will happen when I returned to work.
Difficult 😫

@Jellycatfox - this is exactly my problem, I can't bear the crying but know I need to make a shift or the situation will continue. I have decided to wait cut the mid day milk after lockdown finishes and then eventually drop the morning feed. Soo g it gradually will be the key to manage this.

Good luck OP. It sounds like you have a plan, yes, gradual will be good.