Can someone please help me. Need reassurance.

[Paddy2019]

Hi. I’ll try to keep this short and apologise if this is the wrong place but for the past 15 years I’ve had anxiety and depression and more recently extreme health OCD. Naturally this situation has triggered me more because of germs etc. I will get the the point basically this evening my partner bathed our son and used a towel that had been hung on the clothes horse in the kitchen for 4 months. The reason it’s there is because it was his baby towel and it was too small to use anymore but I just kept it there after a wash one day with the intention of putting it in his baby box. In the end I just forgot about it. I’ve been trying my best to keep in control during this lockdown and when I found out he had used the towel to dry him I got really upset. I’ve been crying for hours worrying about him getting sick. My partner is furious with me for not moving it off the clothes horse sooner but I pointed out he could’ve done it and it doesn’t have to be me who does everything. I am so exhausted and wracked with guilt and worry.
I’m honestly sick with myself. What do I do? I am insanely clean because of the OCD and this was just something small I forgot about and if he gets sick I couldn’t live with myself. I know it probably sounds odd but can anyone please reassure me? I know it was hung up clean but it was on there for months and I’m thinking about the dust and germs that could’ve got onto it. I feel awful

Your son will definitely not get sick because he's been dried with a towel that hasn't been washed for a few months.

There is no problem with that towel. There is no risk to your baby. Dust isn’t dangerous, nothing worrying will have been breeding on it. You are obviously worried because if your OCD. Get help for this, it sounds overwhelming.

fellow ocd girl here, although not ideal your kid shouldn't get ill. ocd during a pandemic it pretty shit isn't it.

Hiya,

I too have ocd and posted on here about my dd putting a strangers finger in her mouth and all the diseases she could’ve got as I spiralled, even though I knew it was just my ocd, and some extremely kind mumsnetters talked me down. DD was/is absolutely fine.

Your son isn’t going to get sick from being dried with a towel that’s been on the side for a while. Honestly, he really isn’t.

OCD is an absolute bitch, and I found mine got way worse when my babies were small. Luckily I had had cbt so had the tools to mainly keep it in check (except the finger thing!), have you had any help for yours? It may be worth speaking to your gp or hv, as your son will probably delight in getting hold of all sorts of things despite your best efforts to stop him.

Don’t feel awful, he’ll be fine. You’ve done nothing wrong.

My baby daughter went through a phase of licking the cat. A towel is not going to make your child ill! But I'm not sure anyone's reassurance will be helpful to you if you have OCD as it's not rational like that

Do you know anyone who has got ill or died from a clean towel?

I promise you that towel is fine. My daughter ate mud and a dandelion today, licked the tap in the bath, and dried herself on my jumper, which is covered in old hummus.

A bit of a dusty but clean towel is fine.

If you're ocd is that extreme may I suggest learning about infectious diseases on openlearn as you'll feel more in control of this situation. Being out of control is obviously making your anxiety terriblly heightened so clue yourself up on why that logically isn't going to make her sick (germs need certain conditions to thrive and to get sick you need a certain amount of exposure to pathogens for example)

Thanks for your replies everyone. I do need to see my GP when this is over as I doubt I’ll be much use going to work when I’m worrying so much over bacteria and viruses. I even started thinking about where he put the towel afterwards and if there could’ve been dust mites on it. I feel like a crazy person.
I’ve never known anyone die or get poorly this way but my mind just won’t let me rationalise right now. Thanks guys you are very kind x