Ideas for entertaining an 18 week old?

[aimzxd]

Hi everyone. My DS (13 weeks corrected as he was premature) is getting a bit frustrated in the evenings and becoming quite crabby. I think a lot of it has to do with boredom. He doesnt like repetitive play in the same day. For an example of how our day usually goes, yesterday looked like this:

6am - BF and back to sleep.

9am - BF and bottle top up with gaviscon (he hates syringe!), play in a little 4 in 1 activity seat for 20 mins (he sits up really well and has strong neck muscles.

10am - bath, then some floor play with nursery rhymes, head, shoulders, knees & toes, etc.

10.30am -nap.

1pm - BF followed by bottle. Play time on my bed with tummy time (not keen on it) and rolling front to back. During tummy time we usually have a chat where I try to get him to copy words and he loves it when he manages to get it right.

1.30pm usually go out a walk. He may nap but is nosey so prefers to look around.

2.30ish - back home, some hand play with sensory toys (trying to teach him how to hold objects and control them ie bring to his mouth (still struggles get them there and ends up licking sleave!).

3pm - short nap if Im lucky. He fights his sleep in afternoon.

4pm - BF & bottle, 15mins or so on playmat or jumperoo (he cant bounce yet but likes it when I swing him).

Now the evening is where it gets tricky. He gets crabbit really quickly with everything we try, and we're running out of ideas. He will lie on a mat for a bit and have some 'quiet time' where he yaps away to himself. This gives us a chance to have tea. We end up having to walk him round the house, letting him look out the windows, in the mirrors etc. He also has spells where he's fine on his own during the day where I squeaze in breakfast or lunch. But in the evening till about 7.30pm/8pm he's so crabby and I dont know what to do with him. From 7/8 he'll feed then go down for the night but until then he's a bit of a nightmare and seems to get bored with activities/interaction very quickly. Any ideas for age appropriate activities or might it be something else? I thought it may be teething as he chews his hands and bites anything put in his mouth but its been 2 weeks and no teeth. Any suggestions appreciated!

My LO liked a massage in the evening followed by a bit of naked sensory time (lying on a fluffy rug, exploring different textures etc). If you look on the johnsons website there is quite a good video of how to do baby massage. If you move the bath to the evening you could do the massage after to relax before bed.

We definitely could only manage 1.5 hours awake at that point. Try looking for tiredness signs, not just yawning- staring into space and zoning out, a change in temper that you could be putting to boredom, as well as eye rubs and yawns. Even a 10 minute nap at that point will do the trick.

Sleep is even more needed between b4-6 months because there's just so much brain activity going on- it's one of the biggest leaps and they are so much hard work during this one.

I'm knackered reading that! I'd agree with PP re more naps - it's a long time for him to be awake during the day. Everything is an activity at that age - bouncy chair and play gym were great for keeping my DS busy for a bit, sensory scarves, shakers (just a plastic bottle with some rice or pasta in), he used to watch while I did housework. Lots of floor time is important to develop those motor skills, mine was a bit easier to entertain once he could roll round the floor.

I definitely try to get him to nap more, he used to every 2 to 3 hours. For the last 2 weeks he wont, he fights and screams and gets so distressed I dont push it. I reitterate again that I am not forcing attention on him he looks for it, demands it sometimes. If he'd go in a sling or bouncy chair it would be ideal. He's always hated both.

I was looking for fresh ideas in the evenings. Yesterday his naps were better, around 4.5 hours total and he was still crabbit in afternoon. If I do not play with him like I do then he'd be crabby all day. I try to read to him but one book at a time is his limit.

I do not have a garden, we try to get outside for an hour every day. He wont sit or lie in pram, he will only go out in car seat or buggy attachment as he likes to look around.

I'm hoping this is just a phase he's always been a good napper and night time sleeper but lately its been rubbish with short naps.

We were still having 4 naps a day at this stage -about 5 hour worth a day. Tagging into account his adjusted at, even more.

We still aim for 3 hours worth over 2 naps for my 12 month old. So I agree with others that he's shattered.

I also wonder if you are pushing him a lot in terms of development. Let him look around a bit, crinkle things, play on his playmat, bit let him chill out.

Honestly at this age (with my first) I pretty much just carried on life as normal, going out, meeting friends, shopping etc, with baby in a sling and she slept and fed when she wanted, with the occasional baby group. When awake she'd sit on my lap and hit some toys etc. With my second, she just fitted into whatever we were doing with my eldest, again usually strapped to me. They really don't need a lot of extra stimulation at this age, what they say it's enough. And I know you can't go out much etc, but the world is still stimulating to them - they won't get bored.

Honestly, an over stomulated, baby who isn't napping enough will be very cranky. I'd I were you I'd scale it back on some of your activities and make more time for naps evenly spaced out (maybe 90m awake time in between at most). They are unlikely at this stage to just spontaneously fall asleep like when a newborn, which may be one reason why they seem like they are refusing.

This is vaguely what we usually had. Obviously individual naps were shorter or longer, but this was average. By the time you get them up, feed them etc and a teeny bit of playing, the 90m wake window is usually nearly up.

Up at 7.
Nap 1 - 8.30 - 10.00
Nap 2 - 11.30-13:00
Nap 3 - 14.30 - 15.30
Nap 4 - 17.00- 17.30

Bed at 7ish.

Absolutely over tiredness. If you’re keen to keep him with you in the evenings, then I’d do bath and milk then keep everything calm and dark.

Controversially, mine went to bed at around 6pm from five weeks old, because she only catnapped in the day and couldn’t cope with any more stimulation by the time evening rolled around.

Lots of posters are saying put baby to bed earlier but how do you do this when baby isn't playing ball? Please help me as my baby is a similar age and similarly grumpy in the evenings, also a serial nap dodger.

She has a bath at 7:30, into pjs and sleeping bag and I feed her, but she will still feed on a off until 10/11 most nights. If she dozes off and I put her in her cot then she wakes within 5 minutes.

If he wakes at 9 then I'd go for lots of active play til 11, down for a sleep til 1. Outside in his buggy (as it keeps him awake) for min 1 hour, then another hour playing on the floor. Nap at 3 til 4.30. More relaxed play til 6. Bath 6-6.30 then quiet time before bed at 7.

Definitely no more than 2 hours awake at that age. I'd try for at least 30 minutes to settle him. If he's crying it's likely because babies fight their sleep but doesn't mean they aren't tired. If he wakes within an hour I'd resettle him.
I'd move the bath to the evening as it's a nice relaxing thing to do during witching hours.

I'd probably also wake him around 7 in the morning, shorten his day and get him winding down by 6 for a 7pm bed time.

He'll be cranky for a while as it sounds like he has a fair bit of sleep to catch up on.

What is making you say he is bored. Unless he's literally being put in a quiet place and ignored most of the day, he's unlikely to be bored at that age, as everything is fascinating.

Another one for over tiredness. At that age my baby needed to sleep every 1.5 hours. It was often a struggle to get him to sleep, but he definitely needed the naps. What worked for me was either breastfeeding to sleep and letting him nap on me, walk in pram (lying flat, hood up), rocking in pram at home with Muslin over the pram to make it dark and white noise playing. At that age they don’t need loads of stimulation, you’re doing loads of play, as other posters have said add in some calming things before naps like cuddles, looking at a picture book, quiet walk around the house.

He must be shattered of he's not sleeping between 1 and 7pm some days. My 20 week old is just starting to be able to stretch to two hours awake time.

I know you said you're looking for different activities to do with him in the evenings, but honestly it sounds like he's tired and overstimulated.

Not sure how you're going about naps, but I'd suggest you really need to get an afternoon one in (he might put up a fight, but ime that gets worse the more tired they are). You're doing a lot with him, fine if you're enjoying it and he can cope with the overstimulation, but you can ease off. I think you're expecting a lot from him tbh. Plus they're much harder work to entertain when they're older so rest while you can 😂

You must have been through a lot if he arrived five weeks early, glad he’s doing well now.

It’s quite funny reading this as a mum of two. My baby is also four months old - I couldn’t tell you how many weeks. Entertainment for her is being plonked on her big brother’s bed while I play with him. I might get half an hour alone with her a day, during which I sing songs and massage her feet. Funnily enough she is a much less grumpy baby than her brother was when he had my full attention. I think try and go about your life as normal more. At this stage they just love simple things like lying on a blanket looking up at the trees. Reading books together is another great thing. It sounds like you’re doing great x

Hi,
I have a 3.5 month old, sorry not enough sleep, and you are doing too much, they are happy just doing nothing.
He is overstimulated. I have 3 and all of mine by 5 pm crying, grumpy.
Great if the nap last till 4.-4,30. Then wind down for 6 bed 7.
If wakes from 3pm, put to bed from 6pm. It’s hard, but you don’t need to so much with them.

I'm going to agree with the others - you're doing too much with him. His little brain is in a twiz. Babies need sleep to process what they have seen and done, and come evening time he's tired, too much in his head and is too young to know how to work this out himself.

You're also in the range for the 4 month sleep regression, though that would affect his night time as well so doesn't sound like that yet.

Have you tried just chilling on the sofa with him, with his favourite cuddly toy and a blanket. Sing nursery rhymes and he might drift off. Most babies that age need 4-5 over 2 or 3 hours during the day and 11-12 at night.

I would also move his bath to be his evening 'activity', and start a little bed time routine so you're giving him signals for sleep. Keep it calm rather than playtime.

I agree he sounds overtired and over stimulated.
I also know how it feels when babies fight their sleep, it’s the one thing that really used stress me out. However it’s important to ride it out and encourage them to sleep.
Does white noise work?
Does he Have a dummy? If I was really struggling to settle dd I’d dip her dummy in a bit of gripe water or give her a tiny bit of teething gel and it would just encourage her to suck her dummy rather than cry and she almost always settled after that.
Something else we tried was a light projector, not necessarily one that made noise just projected coloured lights onto the ceiling, nice for them to watch and calming too. That might be an idea of an evening, dark room, light projector on baby lay watching it while you do whatever you need to do but not necessarily actually sat entertaining him

I truly wish my DS was happy doing nothing but he is not. Ive limited play time to 15 min increments because he was overstimulated a few weeks ago. He's back to napping more last 2 days but still wants constant attention. Thank you for all the suggestions it has kept him happy. Hardly any crabbing last night.

What makes you think he is bored though?

Over tiredness and over stimulation can present as being fussy/upset ... And misinterpreted as boredom.

He won't actually be bored if he's so young (unless he's been left alone for hours in end staring at nothing).

I'd really encourage you to just have him nearby, chat to him about every day things. Try and calm it all down a bit. Give him something to hold whilst you do things like make breakfast... Like a banana, rattle, or even a piece of paper. Honestly, that is enough stimulation for him at 13 weeks.

Try him again in a baby carrier or sling, and just potter about.

Keep him close to you via the carrier/sling and let him sleep as and when he drops off.
He'll settle and be much happier once he's caught up with his sleep :)

@LoisLittsLover

When you say she's a nap Dodger. Are you definitely putting her to bed/cut/wherever before she reaches that fractious stage of tiredness?

As for putting them to bed earlier. It's trial and error really.

Mine would have a loose bedtime of around 2hrs after last afternoon/evening nap. So anytime from 7pm-8pm.

It sounds as though you’re doing loads of great activities with him already.

All of mine have started to need to go to bed in the evenings around that age so that could be worth a try. Bath, story, milk then put to bed (either awake or asleep depending on how he is at self settling). When he wakes resettle in the dark bedroom. Might mean you spend several evenings to-ing and fro-ing to the bedroom but really does help with overstimulation when they’re tired. If you’re worried about leaving him alone (as I know guidance is to keep them with you until 6 months) I used to stay in the bedroom with dc3 and read/watch tv with headphones in. Just keep the room darkish.

My other suggestion would be to persevere with the lying down in the pram. My younger two would cry and strain to sit up when first put in there but after a bit of brisk pushing (with hood up) they went to sleep. It did have to be brisk though to kind of blur out their surroundings a bit. They’d often wake as soon as I stopped pushing but I quite like getting out for a long walk so didn’t mind pushing them around for the duration of a nap.

Dc4 was always just kind of carted around after the other dc or to whichever room I was trying to clean, either in a sling or plonked on the floor with some toys depending on his mood so that’s another idea, just let him watch you getting on with stuff and chat to him a bit while you do it rather than actively entertaining him. None of mine have been the placid sitting in a bouncer kind so I do understand where you’re coming from.

I think it could be that you think he wants to play when he's grumpy but the play is just a distraction to him. He's probably tired and activities distract him momentarily.

@00100001 no, and deep down I know that I need to spend some.time a) understanding her awake times, as she goes from delightfully happy to overtired demon in about 2 minutes

and b) getting her to nap in her cot or buggy. Naps have been on my lap.or.sling up til now but I think they're over stimulating for her now.

I thought ivd have loads of time to get her to be a better napper, but with dd (5) at home too I feel bad leaving her for ages to try and get dd2 to sleep, so trying to take the path of least resistance and getting nowhere fast.