Premature baby and slow SCBU

[mamalicious3030]

So I'm sitting in the special care baby unit at the moment expressing milk feeling tearful. My little girl was born at 34 weeks and has been in SCBU for 2 weeks and 2 days and the nurses show no signs of releasing her anytime soon. This is my second and my first was also born at 34 weeks in a different hospital. That hospital did a big push on my first borns feeding (also breast fed) and we were discharged after 2.5 weeks. This hospital is far slower and just keep tube feeding her and she's never showing signs of being hungry as a result. She's now 4lb 10oz and heavier than my first born when she was discharged. I can never get her to feed, she's just not looking for it. I'm thinking of giving up breast feeding and just getting her on the bottle because I see no progress. The staff spend most their time in their office chatting and eating cake. It's a much quieter hospital and only one other baby here. Also I'm always here on my own and not allowed to eat here or anything because of covid. So my husband is not around to support and I have to go sit in the car while he visits. They've only just bent the rules and allowing me to express in the unit while he visits because before that I was expressing in the car. I'm struggling with it all and getting very upset. I know a big part of this is the baby blues however. Any advice on the approach to getting a preterm baby to wake and feed is appreciated. At the moment I feel like going home and I almost feel like not coming back which is awful I know. I just feel like my being here trying to get her to feed is a waste of time. She's here only for that reason and we are going round in circles while the staff in their own easy life bubble sit and eat cake in their office. Sometimes I arrive and I have to find them to let them know I'm here and then it's a good 30 minutes before they come to speak to me and the ward is empty.
They've just said to go back as she's awake but I've literally just tried and she was awake then too then fell asleep and I've just finished expressing both boobs. I just don't see the point.

How often is baby tube fed? Every 3 hours? She’s nearly term if 2 weeks old so should be able to manage oral feeding ok. Do you always do things like nappy changes first to try and wake her? If you leave her long enough does she ever show hunger cues? Is she gaining weight fine?
I think as her mum, put your foot down more. Tell the nurses what you want to happen when you get there. Maybe speak to the doctors about a plan and how you feel. I would extend the time between tube feeds to give her a chance to be hungry or just give the tube as a top up if needs be, or alternate between tube feeds and breast feeds. Maybe suggest to move to some kind of demand or semi-demand feeding and see how she goes? Small babies can be sleepy but the more she can practice (even if she’s being lazy on the breast, you can give a small top up at the same time) the better.

I'm so sorry to hear this. My twins spent 8.5 weeks in NICU and SCBU, and there were frustrating moments when things just weren't happening, like weaning off of oxygen.

I found it helpful to be there for doctors rounds and ask why? Why? Why? What's the next step? When will that be underway? All very friendly and polite, and they do understand, but I HAD to show my impatience at points to get things moving.
Ask them in SCBU which bottles they recommend giving expressed milk from? Ours recommended the cheapest you can buy.
I went in for feed times (which was hard with a one year old) but well worth it as I got to feed them each time, then NG tube what they couldn't drink in half an hour.

Worst 8.5 weeks of my life, but the day they came home it was all behind me, and now it feels like it almost never happened.

I also had days when I couldn't face going in, I probably didn't go in for three days and felt awful for it, but I just couldn't and I think that's okay. This is a tough time, and I'm sorry you're going through this.

Also, during the night, ring them.... "how did baby get on with the 10:30pm feed? Tube? Oh that's disappointing. Are you going to try a bottle at 2? Oh great, I'll set my alarm and ring at 2:30 to ask how it went. Thanks so much for all you do, just so desperate to have baby home!"

Our SCBU fed with a bottle every other feed at first to give them a chance to rest properly in between feeds.

My ds was born at 35 weeks. We only stayed in a week and they had me try bf the day he was born. Not sure why they aren't keen to get you both home.
Can you speak to someone higher?

Hey, I know how you feel. My DS was born 35 weeks and kept in neonatal for 2 weeks. I was also kept in the hospital as I had dodgy blood pressure. Some nurses were adament he had to be tube fed every 4 hours, some would come get me every 4 hours at night to rouse and try to BF him. Poor soul did try but he was far too small and tired easily so had to keep tube feeding. Didnt help that there were shifts and 3/4 days off between nurses, some were giving me conflicting info re trying to get him to feed so I could take him home. I found out when the docs did their rounds, made sure I was there and asked for a feeding plan. (I also expressed but was allowed to do this in the unit, it was encouraged.) The doctors let me try to bottle feed him expressed milk before each tube feed. Sometimes he wouldnt wake for a feed but before I had a break down a lovely nurse showed me that even though he was sleeping he'd still take a bottle and he did. I fed him every 4 hours for just over a day and they told me I could take him home (it was very sudden and I was so not ready, my DP was working and I'd been there so long I had lots of stuff to round up so be prepared for a quick departure). As he was prem he was too sleepy/weak to take a full feed off the breast till about 8 weeks or so and even then i had to use nipple shields to make it easier for him. So I'd suggest asking a doctor if you can spend a day trying to feed her with a bottle not a tube and if so, will they consider letting you take her home. On your breastfeeding concerns, I waited till he'd tried to feed on the breast then was bottle fed and back asleep before I pumped. Its a pain but I kept at it and its such a breaze now (he's 18 weeks today). Chin up it will get better and you will get your LO home but it sounds like you need to start pushing them for an exit plan. Good luck!

Thank you for your replies.
I do a nappy change and strip her to get vest if not to get nappy and switch all the lights on to get her to wake. She wakes them as soon as the boob is in her mouth with a nipple shield then she just goes to sleep again. She's now 36 weeks and a good weight. All healthy.

As I was expressing milk they asked me to go back because she was awake. But with all the jigging around in bed out bed in bed out bed because of covid procedures she was sick big time. Her whole feed I would say. Popped her on the boob and she took a couple of comfort sucks and went to sleep.
The nurse then said let's leave her in her cot today and they won't give her any more tube feeds and just ring me if she's looking for food. This makes me feel much better. I hope this works.

Yes I need to find out when the Doctors do their rounds and start pushing more. Today I'm so emotional that if I start talking about it I will burst into tears. I think much of this is my hormones however. I need to grow a pair and be more pushy. It's hard when you're always on your own though.

Xxxx

One of the best things I did was burst into tears on NICU and SCBU. Despite being children's nurses, they were incredible with adult parents! Tell them your frustrations, show them your impatience. It will help xx

Hi, I’m really sorry you’re going through this, it’s awful at the best of times never mind in the current climate.
My DS was born at 34 weeks and we didn’t leave until he was term so we were in almost 6 weeks. He just would not feed. He was so sleepy all the time. I expressed for a week for tube feeds but I never wanted to breast feed so we started on bottles on week 3 I think it was and he took 5ml the first time and when we finally left he was still only taking max 1oz from the bottle. I will add he needed a tiny bit of oxygen as well and we were in so long because he couldn’t shake it off, as well as his feeding.
All babies are different and it can be a long slog.
That said - it is very frustrating and a lot of what happened for me happened because after the first week or so (he’s my first so I had no idea at first) I started hassling them much more, constant questions, make It clear how you feel etc. Push push push. It’s your baby and you should play a full part in their care and the decisions about their care.