Transition from co sleeping to own room and bed (16 m/o)

[LillyJean1]

Hi

Basically I wondered if anyone has any suggestions on transferring a 16 month old from co sleeping in parents bed to their own room and cot. I'm not even sure if anyone has experience of this as I am well aware I have taken the biscuit out of co sleeping. I split with DS father when he was a newborn and so co sleeping (I was breastfeeding) was the best option for me at the time to be able to get any sleep as I have another child who also needed a not grumpy unrested mum during the day as well as the baby.

Basically I am now 16 months in and although I dont mind the co sleeping I do feel it's time because DS has never slept in a cot period (even for naps) and I'm aware when he goes to nursery he will be napping in a cot and I don't want this to be a big issue for the nursery or him.

I have read lots... But there is nothing like the advice of parents who have been there in my experiences. The problem lies with I don't have the space to start the cot off in my room and slowly transition it to his room. Couldn't swing a cat in my bedroom.

At the moment we have bath, book in my bed and he goes to sleep around 7.30pm... however!! He can sometimes wake 3 times before I'm even in bed which is why I want him settled in his own bed because I think he's waking to find out where I am which makes me realise he's looking for me for sleep comfort. As when I'm in bed he won't wake the rest of the night until morning presumably because I'm next to him.

I really want him to enjoy a full night feeling comfortable in his own bed and I would like to enjoy my evening not running up and down stairs to resettle him every hour sometimes.

I know I will need to do this a lot in the beginning of the transition.

Any tips? Experiences? Magic dust I can sprinkle to make the situation easier?

We've tried day naps in his cot and he actually got his foot stuck on the bars trying to climb out in hysterics to get to me even though I was sitting in his room next to the cot holding his hand. Is he too young for the bars to come off? He is otherwise a very well socialised baby with no attachment issues.

Any advice or constructive criticism welcome ☝️😃 thank you x

My DS co slept for the first 12 months. He was an absolutely awful sleeper for the first 10-11 months so much so that I don't know how I physically functioned in that time. From about 7-8mo I made small changes that I think helped him transition to where he now sleeps in his own cot in his own room and he's 13mo.

Does your DS bf at night at all? If he does try offering him a beaker/bottle of water instead. Will hate it at first but should eventually get used to it. Mine after a while stopped waking for feeds at all (although did still wake, just not to feed). That's probably the first drastic change I made that had huge benefits in breaking thassociation with needing me there when he wakes up in the night.

I got really lucky because my DS transitioned himself out of co sleeping at 12mo. One evening while I was rocking and feeding him to sleep (as I have literally always had to do) he struggled and wanted to break free from me. So I let him go. After about 30 minutes of him rolling around on my bed I picked him up and rocked him and he was asleep in a few minutes. After the same for a few nights I just started giving him his bottle and dummy and letting him roll around and drink etc until he fell sleep by himself.

That was probably the pivotal moment of his life re sleep because he suddenly didn't need or want me to help him sleep any more. We finally set up a cot bed in his own room and the first night he slept through the night for the second time in his entire life (he doesn't sleep through every night now but occasionally).

I don't know if any of this will help. I hope it will, but basically I found that small changes to get him used to sleeping independently made all the difference to where he got himself ready to sleep alone. I still have to go and pass him his dummy in the night or some water if he wants it but he sleeps in his own cot every night now.

(I'm racking my brain trying to think of other small changes I made at night that helped with the transition, will come back and post if I remember, but basically things like ignoring him for a while when he wakes rather than jumping straight to trying to get him back to sleep, I was very surprised the first time I watched him just settle himself back down to sleep)

Go straight to a proper bed, even a floor bed. Then you can lie with him to get him to sleep and creep out, or sleep with him after he wakes iof needed but have your own space too.

Thank you both ladies for your helpful responses. We have been putting things into action although I think we may take the cot sides off as suggested and see how it goes from there 🙊 wish me luck xx

I'm trying to do this now with my 12mo. Not completely there yet but I have got him to go to sleep in his cot (in another room) and sleep some of the night there.
I breastfeed him too but what I find helps is not to bf him to sleep. I have been using a night light with music to set the mood and sometimes I sing to him. I try to put him in the cot when he is awake but drowsy and will pat him whilst there.

I think he sleeps for longer when he drops off by himself. When he wakes I might feed him and put him back in the cot. Although if he wakes when I'm in the middle of sleep I'll just bring him back to my bed. That's usually a lot later in the night though. Still some way to go till he sleeps all through the night without a feed...Can't wait till that happens!
Hope it goes well for you!

I think it helped my eldest that we played in his cot in the day a few times. Then it wasn’t a scary unfamiliar place. I can’t remember which book I read that suggested that.
I would accept that there will be tears. I’ve “sleep trained” my youngest twice, we regressed when she was ill so had to redo it. It’s taken 3 days each time and she’s cried with temper more than anything else. I’ve stayed next to her cot and reassured her but been very firm in saying no she’s not coming in my bed, it’s time to lie down in her bed.