Please help, can't clean 3 year olds teeth

[pipnchops]

DD2 is 3.5 yrs old and has always hated having her teeth cleaned, mainly because she wants to do it herself but when she does it herself she just sucks all the toothpaste off the brush and chews it so we have to do it for her afterwards. I never feel like I get a good clean as she gets so upset about me doing it. It's not my technique because I have a 5 year old whose teeth I clean and she's fine about it.

For the past week DD2's been saying it hurts and asking me not to brush one side of her mouth. I've had a little look and can't see anything untoward. I'm really gentle with brushing but I do insist on brushing all her teeth and she's been getting increasingly upset about it this past week.

We've now got to the point where my husband has to pin her down while I try and brush and its very upsetting for all of us. Even then she just bites the brush as soon as its in her mouth so we can't do anything.

I'm planning to call the dentist for advice tomorrow but wondered if there's anyone on here who has come across this problem before and managed to overcome it. I'm so worried about her teeth as it's been a week now since I've been able to give them a proper brush.

Sorry but holding her down is the only way. Tickle her. Hold her nose if you have to. Anything to get them brushed properly. You can't let a 3 year old dictate dental care, that's neglect.

Have you tried distracting her aswell? The Blippi teeth brushing song on YouTube helped us. Other than that it was just pinning her down (not as violent as it sounds!) and brushing them, she soon got used to the fact it was gona happen, now she does it’s first and I ‘take a turn’ to do them properly. She loves having a cup to drink water from the bathroom tap after and play about. Some days it’s still a battle but less so now.

Have you tried an electric toothbrush?

DD used to fight it but she's usually ok now (3.5yr)

I tell her a story while I'm doing it, or if my brain is not up to that, I play her a toothbrushing themed song from YouTube on my phone!

But agree, hold her down if need be. Rotten teeth are worse for her than a brief experience of force.

I could have written this myself. This week I decided to try a reward chart, a star both day and night and when she hits 10 she gets a magazine (her favourite treat at the moment!)

We play the Hey Duggee Tooth brush song and the same time and she will hold the brush and we do it together. Huge improvement. Going to cost me a bomb in magazines but worth to not have the twice daily fight!!

We used to have to lie dd down on the bedroom floor and pin her down and the other one brushed her teeth. Once she realised it was going to happen anyway she stopped objecting.

Sometimes I still have to hold down my nearly three year old, other times she will play with a water cup in the sink whilst I brush or she cooperates by me telling her to ”sing” making “ah” or “e” sounds whilst I brush.

If she chews the brush are the bristles off at angles? That makes it really hurt. I can't imagine holding my son down.... But each to their own. I'd take the pressure off her (and you), change tack a bit. Can she do them herself one day, your turn the next day, until she is happier with it? Try a different flavour toothpaste? And the hey duggee song, definitely

The seseme street "brushy brush* song helped us, but I feel for you, I had to pin my son down until he was almost 2, and have to do the same now for my 18 month old. I do also let them have their own turn chewing and sucking the toothbrush though. We usually have a whole" I'll do it first, you do it second" song and dance.

I've had similar issues with my son from an early age. I have never forced him though as worried this will cause more damage in the long run. He's getting much better now (3) but here are a few things we tried over the months/years. We tend to find novelty wears off after a while so try something new but he's getting better at just doing it now without all of the faffing about..

Electric toothbrush with songs
Electric toothbrush with flashing lights
Toothbrush designed for autistic children allows all 3 sides to be brushed at once (available on amazon)
Allow us to do it whilst he watches tv (Elmo tooth brushing song was a hit for a while)
Brush to an egg timer so he knows when 2 mins is up
Brush to a phone timer (take turns for 30 seconds each)
All brush together at the same time
Different toothpaste as taste really affected his willingness!
Let his 'teddy' brush them (us holding in disguise)

Just to put your mind at rest we had trouble for months brushing my sons properly, he's been to the dentist regularly and they say his teeth are absolutely fine and weren't concerned, just said to keep trying. It has been a long process but is finally paying off. I also tell him now he's unable to have any sweets or chocolate if he doesn't brush properly and that's a good incentive now he's a little older and understands.

Hey duggee toothbrush episode.

Playing ‘catch the tooth monkeys/elephants/zebras,’ whatever gets them.

Get big sister on board? Look, big sister gets her teeth brushed so well like a big girl? Maaaybe tie in a big girl prize?

On her teeth being sore - has she had popcorn lately? One of mine got a bit stuck behind her teeth & it was quite sore til I could catch it.

We wrap DS up in his bath towel to brush his teeth, he knows the game is up and lets us do it calmly and quietly. If we don't do this he screams as if we're murdering him.

We got a toothbrush timer, its an owl and has a salt timer so we brush, she turns the timer and when the salt is at the bottom she can finish brushing by herself
We have always done this from a young age so she's good at it but I understand your pain..

Things to consider that I use with dd or when I was a nanny:-

• A toothbrish timer/phone timer that you explain you brush and then they do when the timer is up

-Brushing teeth song

-Proper bedtime/morning routine, I use routine cards so she knows what we do when.

-Getting a new brush or toothpaste they get excited about like cartoon or animal or rainbow bristles (bamboo ones with rainbow bristles available on amazon and worked well with ours)

-If they refuse or kick up a fuss I would say use your usual discipline. They need to learn that's not acceptable behaviour and explain why. If dd acts up she gets time out until she can calm down, say sorry and start again. It works 99.9% of the time

-good old YouTube teeth brushing songs and videos at the same time, to learn how to do it themselves and mummy/daddy needs to check after. Bringing a mirror to their height is good too. Kids love mirrors!
(Daniel tiger, elmo worked well.. If you can stomach peppa I think there is one too as most cartoons do)

-try brushing yours at the same time, talk about germs and healthy teeth etc

Good luck!

Forgot to ask if you've tried a reward chart?

Thank you so much for your replies, really appreciate it. We're going to do try a sticker chart with a reward at the end of the week. I've tried timers and songs but she is in so much distress she doesn't pay any attention. We all don't like using force and its not something we'd do if the alternative wasn't much worse. We all went to bed very upset last night and I had loads of anxiety dreams. I just hope this is a phase that passes soon. I'll work through the other advice too with regards to different toothbrushes and toothpastes. Agh.