3yr old hides to cry

[Toomuchtooyoung01]

If DD 3yrs cries, she runs off to do it. Just now, she caught her finger on a toy and ran off to cry in the corner rather than seek comfort. I'm worried about this habit - is it reflective of our bond? I'm a SAHM, shes still breastfed, I can be a bit shouty at times and I'm worried she doesn't feel she wants comfort from me when hurt? When she hurt her finger just now, I ran after her (taking newborn off the boob to do so) and pulled her into my arms to cuddle her etc, she asked for boob etc, but I don't understand why her immediate reaction is to run and cry by herself rather than run to me, as you would expect a young child to do? Have I ruined our bond by shouting too much and now having another baby?

I wouldn't worry. She's just working things out. My nephew used to sneak off and put himself on the naughty step!

I think some kids are just like this. My three year old and I have (what I feel) is a very good relationship and he is very cuddly and affectionate. However, when he hurts himself he will usually go away to cry/ask or (yell!) for us to go away/cry but not want us near him. After the initial shock of it he will sometimes come for a cuddle but prefers us to not say anything (he can be furious if we express any sympathy!). I sometimes think that, given his behaviour, another person might think we were the type of parents who try to encourage a stiff upper lip and that couldn’t be further from the truth . I think it is just him finding his way to process his emotions.

My eldest used to need a cushion. Not a special one - just any old cushion off the sofa. If he was having a tantrum, upset, hurt himself - he’d run and find a pillow to cry into, hug, hide behind or press down on his injury.

He’s 12 now and if he hurts himself he’ll still get a cushion and press it up against the bruise.

Some kids are just weird op I don’t think it’s any reflection of your bond.

My 3yo screams at me to go away if he hurts himself. If he falls over and you ask if he is ok more than once, he screams and screams and says bye!

Sometimes I get the impression that he is embarrassed that he has hurt himself. Or even angry! And just wants to be left alone.

It can be awkward if he hurts himself in public, I think other people must think I am a nasty mum who doesn’t go to comfort her child! But he just doesn’t want me to.

I’m also a sahm and a bit shouty sometimes But I think we have a good relationship. He reacts the same way with other people too so it’s not just me.

I do wish he would let me give him a big cuddle though :)

My DD2 is like this - running and hiding to cry, crawling under things or if we are out into front gardens

It’s getting way better over time - I think the worst was between 2.5-3 and now improving as she cries within reach and mainly not hidden

I did have a worry about it for a while (WOHM here) but I suppose as I have DD1 I can see how they are all their own little person and figure things out differently

My DD is 4 and if we ate very close and cuddly! She still does this sometimes, but often also comes running straight to us. Different things seem to trigger different reactions - if she's out in public or around extended family she seems to run. If it's just us she comes straight to us. If she is overtired she runs, and I think if shes done something she knows she shouldn't be doing.

My 2 year old boy is very boisterous and clumsy and bumps himself a lot. He without fail runs over and needs a kiss on the affected area. As soon as he has a kiss he is completely fine again, even if he's really quite bumped himself. The wonders of placebo

Sorry not sure what happened there **We are close and cuddly.

my son (3) does this. not every time but sometimes if i say anything or approach i get "NO MUMMY DONT TOUCH MY OUCHY" etc etc and even more occasionally he hides. usually if it really hurts i think!

I don't think this is really an issue, you may find she starts wanting cuddles for comfort instead of running away. Don't think it's good though to be shouting at a three year old a lot.. She's still tiny. I have a 2 and a half year old and although I have raised my voice on occasion when needed I have never shouted at him. I'm far from a perfect parent though but maybe it's just something to try and hold back on.

Introvert?
My eldest was like this... she’s still like this as a teen & will go to great lengths to hide the fact she has been hurt - it’s embarrassing/makes people look.
She once opened a cupboard door onto her head & got a huge egg - didn’t tell her instructors or her friends just pretended it didn’t happen until she was alone with me.

My 8 Yr old runs off to cry.... Just his way, he will happily accept cuddles but you have to find him... Not sure if he just does it with us...

I cannot stand sympathy when I'm hurt or ill. It's not that I don't trust or love my family and friends. It's that I cannot deal with their emotions when mine are at their peak. Once my pain has subsided, I can then accept their comfort.

Maybe that's what your child is doing?

My 3 year old screamed "don't look at me" and "I'm fine" for months and months, every time she hurt herself. She's only stopped recently and now runs straight to me or her dad for hugs if she hurts herself. I think it was a passing phase, and maybe for you too.

Youngest DS won’t let you cuddle him when he’s hurt and crying but he does want to stand with his back pressed up to my stomach/chest and to have his arms rubbed.

Don’t know why, he’s extremely cuddly any other time. Just really doesn’t like being held when he’s hurt!

How shouty are you?

Has she always ran away? Or is it a new thing since you were pregnant or when baby arrived? It could be her way of getting attention. As you said, she hurt her finger (not badly?) And you immediate reaction is to remove the newborn from feeding. That's a pretty excellent reaction for her.