DD11 won’t go outside

[BrandyandBabycham]

Having real problems persuading DD11 to get some fresh air & exercise. Her mood is up & down & she sometimes takes a while to go to sleep but I can’t get it through to her that she would feel much better not stuck indoors all day. We can’t physically force her to come for a walk or whatever. I went on a short bike ride the other day & she accompanied me without having to be asked but then made a huge fuss, “ staged” a fall off her bike & insisted afterwards that I had made her go. She has attachment disorder & some behavioural difficulties. I despair as I know she would feel better to get moving! Any ideas? She’s putting on weight too which concerns me as she was already being bullied for that 😥

One of mine is/was like this. She's 15 now. When she was 11 she put on a few pounds....but I do think some girls just do...as they approach puberty.

I found that it was easier to get her out if there was a purpose...hard during lockdown I know as you can't go for a drink in a cafe or something.

Another idea is a crafty trip....mine's always liked making things so we'd go out for moss to make a fairy garden or a 'stream aquarium' or something.

My 12yo is the same. We finally got her out for a walk yesterday evening and she's come with me in the car a couple of times to drop things at my parents' but otherwise she hasn't left the house in weeks. She just wants to stay in her room reading or on her iPad. She suffers with anxiety at the best of times.

Dont know what to say about her not exercising esp wth her bahavioural difficulties, maybe a carrot and a stick approach might help? Like not buying snacks at all and telling her she needs to come and buy one or two of what she wants, that would be a walk!

Having said that, Watch what you bring to the house, even if she doesnt exercise, if her diet is good she'll be fine weight wise. If you are buying lots of snacks and ready made food, you are responsible for her weight gain.

I do think if you're not a sporty tween or teen, it's really tough at the moment. Young kids you can stick a kid based exercise video on and they'll move even if not really the routine. Older kids, most get the connection between movement and either weight/sleep/studying. But there's an age in the middle where it's hard, especially if exercise is not their "thing"
For DD we got a mini trampoline- one of the exercise ones, and she'll half heartedly bounce on that for 10/15 minutes but that's so much more than she did a couple of weeks ago.
Can you find something more 'fun' even to start some movement rather than a full on bike ride

I've got two teenage daughters and I just say 'get your shoes on, it's time to go for a walk'. I haven't given them a choice as such. I totally recognise the whole falling off a bike and blaming you carry-on!

After the Easter holiday I've been getting some structure back into their lives so we've been working at the kitchen table from nine till two and then going out for a walk at about four then making dinner together.

Apart from the exercise, it's got to be good for people to see the works is still there. People are still getting buses and going to work etc.

Rollerskates? Scooter? Bike? I bought my 11 yo girl a basketball hoop at start of lockdown and she uses that loads - also I play w her. This morning I ran while she biked for a couple of miles . Have you got a trampoline ? Mine hates just going for a walk tbh

Ds is 14. Deal is if he wants to be able to go on his Xbox each day he has to do some exercise every day or go out of the house to do something.

I’ve also started doing Couch25k and he comes on some “runs” with me. He finds it amusing that he can walk as fast as I run. Some things are just not negotiable and doing something each day is one of those things

What time are you going out? My teens will only go out with me "off-peak" so there's less chance of bumping into someone from school.

Do you think she’s self-conscious because of her weight? If so driving to an isolated place near your home to exercise might work out better for her.

She saved up for roller skates actually but has only gone out on them twice & insists she’s going to skate after “ all this” is over. She’s not vastly overweight so not sure if it’s because she’s self conscious. DH cycles 3 times a week but DD doesn’t see me exercising as such apart from walking do perhaps if I start to do more, she’ll want to join in

So perhaps not do perhaps!

@Headbangersandmash I hear you ! My teen son won’t go anywhere with me in case we see someone he knows !!!

He just does weights to loud rap in his room 😂

Oh gosh mine is the same. Just flops around being lethargic and miserable. Does actually enjoy a walk once I’ve coaxed her out.
And she won’t/can’t sleep at night because she hasn’t had enough exercise but is still up at the crack of dawn (ready to begin her day of moping) so the cycle of misery continues.

Glad it is not just me

There are lots of ways to be physically active that aren't 'exercise' isywim. At age 11 I think she's old enough to have the conversation that she needs to be active every day for her wellbeing and what does she suggest that she would enjoy? Eg it could be gardening, following a YouTube video (Joe Wicks or eg martial arts), doing the vacuuming, following a yoga video, whatever. If she hasn't got a better suggestion then going for a walk with you it is! Mine are 11 and 13 and complain about being dragged out of the house, but tough. I make them do it, the same as I insist they don't spend all day on screens, don't live on Cheerios, and pick their pants off the floor, because it's my job to be their parent, not to be popular

Dragged mine out today. She whinged for the first mile but was ok after that. Played charades as we walked for a bit and I pointed out plants and wildlife while she groaned she’ll thank me one day!
We are so lucky where we are to have some fabulous country walks but she doesn’t appreciate it. I suppose I wouldn’t have done at 11 either!