Is the rocking the root of the problem

[Loufer]

Hi there,
Sorry this is long but I just want to explain so I am not drip feeding. I have a 5.5 month old DS who for the past 3 weeks has been waking up every hour or 2 at night and has to be rocked back to sleep each time. He is formula fed and normally takes 1 bottle during the night but has to be rocked back to sleep after the bottle, he stopped falling asleep taking the bottle at around 6 weeks old.

So just to explain a bit around 4 and 5 weeks ago he got his first and second tooth so the unsettled sleep was a cause of this but now 3 weeks after both teeth are fully up he is still waking at least 6 times every night. He also cannot settle himself to sleep and has to be rocked or taken for a walk in the buggy for naps. I have also tried co-sleeping but he still wakes up and has to be rocked off to sleep anyway.

He was always difficult to get down for naps and always seems very stressed and angry when going to sleep but up until 3 weeks ago he would settle himself off at night in the cot and also be put in awake after his night feed and go back off to sleep. He does take a dummy as he had colic for the first 10 weeks and this was the only thing that soothes him.

I have tried putting him in the cot every night but he screams the place down eventually and gets very stressed so leaving him to cry is not an option and not something I would be comfortable with.

I just don't know what has changed in the last 3 weeks other than the teeth that are now fully up and do not seem to be causing him any pain. I am wondering is the rocking him to the problem and if so does anyone have any tips on how to gently wean him off the rocking as I am exhausted at this point and something needs to change. Thank you for reading this ! One tired mummy 😴

It’s just a notoriously difficult age for sleep. It’s possible there are more teeth starting to move, which could cause him pain. More likely it’s the fact he’s becoming more mobile. Usually they start rolling and pushing up around this age. It’s an absolute nightmare for sleep. 5 months was awful for both of mine. If you have started solids, that can cause sleep problems too. I wouldn’t think it’s the rocking. It’s just a rough age and things are just generally stressful and weird at the moment anyway, which won’t help.

Mine was exactly as you describe! She grew out of it eventually. Did have to do some very very gentle sleep training when she was about 10 months old as the rocking was killing my back and it just wasn’t working anymore.

PS She is almost 3 years old now and goes to sleep so so well in her own single bed, finally sleeps all the way through and is dry through the night too. We never have a battle at bedtime, she loves sleep and can get to sleep on her own without any input from me. Just to offer perspective as I never ever thought she would be so good at sleeping

Hi MagpieFeather why kind of sleep training did you do if you don't mind me asking ? .. DS is a big baby and the constant rocking is starting to take a toll already I would like to gently wean him off this but definitely couldn't let him cry either

I had a sleep program which I followed when trying to wean my daughter off the dummy at around 4 months so did some sleep training.

Rather than controlled crying, you use your voice or touch as comfort during the time they cry. You put LO down and let them try settle themselves either with you stood in the room or outside the door, set timer for 6 minutes or a time your comfortable with and if they cry, you introduce a phrase like 'it's time to sleep now baby' or stroke face/tummy until they quieten, then stand back/leave room, keep doing this for the full timer time. After two cycles of trying this or if they never quieten, then go back to doing a rock but don't rock until fully asleep, put down awake but sleepy. Each night/nap increase the timer by 2 mins.

A baby this age takes up to 3 days to change a habit. By the second night my daughter forgot about the dummy and settled herself back to sleep.

It might work for you.

@Loufer I did the gradual retreat method (also called disappearing chair), if you have a google you should be able to find it. Basically it involves explaining to the child that you are not going to be able to rock them or pick them up, they’re going to go to sleep in their cot but you will be sitting right there. Put the chair right up against the cot bars. You can put your hand through to comfort them and use your voice to comfort them but if they ask or sign to be picked up repeat that you can’t and it’s time to sleep, lay down. It takes ages the first night. Babies do often get frustrated but when I did it with my dd she quickly understood it. I never felt like I was doing anything cruel because I was right there comforting her all the time, and it was what we both needed at that point.

It’s a slow process but once baby has got used to that, move chair a few inches away from the cot. Same process and always explain before you put them to bed that you’ll be sitting right there. Keep moving the chair bit by bit until after a few weeks or even a month maybe you are at the other side of the room. When you’re too far away to put your hand through the bars just comfort them with your voice, reiterate that you’re right there, lay down, it’s time to go to sleep.

The chair then gets closer and closer to the door, until (when you’re both ready) you put it outside the door with the door open, explain you’ll be sitting in the chair etc etc just like before. When baby is used to that after a few nights / weeks / whatever, close the door but reiterate that you’ll be sitting right outside in the chair. I used the baby monitor to keep an eye on what baby was doing. If need be again use your voice to comfort them through the door. Eventually baby will be so used to that that you can get rid of the chair and tell them you’ll be sitting outside the door on the floor or a cushion or whatever. And eventually of course you won’t need to say that and won’t need to sit there at all, just say, night night, lay down, it’s time to sleep, close the door and go.

Sorry that’s so long to read.

I will try and find the mumsnet thread that led me to this method as it has some other helpful bits I’ve probably forgotten.

Totally normal for that age, just a regression.

Wouldn't personally do any form of crying/controlled crying etc, just don't see the point in going against what feels natural unless it's affecting your mental health etc.

We did gradual retreat at 18 months, worked amazingly.

Rocking is not part of the problem

Found it @Loufer!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/1394888-What-worked-for-us-Hope-this-helps