Feel like I'm letting my 5 month old down

[BirdIsland]

Before lockdown we'd go out and do something every day - baby groups, baby sensory, swimming etc. Now there is literally nothing to do, every day is the same and I just feel like I'm letting her down. She's so little there is not much we can do at home - she has a couple of playmats in different rooms with different toys, a bouncer and an activity center and we just seem to rotate around these all day but none of them hold her attention for long. I sing to her and try and read books but again she's so little sometimes she's just not interested. She will watch a baby sensory video on YouTube but I feel like a terrible parent parking a 5 month old in front of the tv.

I'm trying to use this time to get some schedule to her naps so just feel like I spend most of every day trying to get her down to sleep (which she hates). I just think she must be so bored and frustrated and I feel so bad for her!

Does anyone have any suggestions of what else we could try? I've tried online baby classes but they just don't hold her attention in the same way and she's restless almost before the class has started.

I know in the grand scheme of things I'm lucky in that we're healthy and safe but it's really starting to get me down.

She doesn't care, op. The world is brand new and plenty interesting. She just likes being with you, I'll guarantee it. I think you're projecting. There's loads of sensory stuff you can do with them using stuff at home, have a Google or an Instagram for ideas.

Sounds like my day! But my LB is 6months.

We have 2 online sensory/music classes a week, and my mums friend is a children's author and reads a book each week for the children- he doesn't follow it but she smiles a lot and he likes that. Do you have anything you can sign up to online?

I then theme the day for toys- yesterday was music so all the musical toys came out. Today is crunchy so all the crunchy crinkling toys are out. We had sea this week so all the fish and water mat came out. Some people are doing coloured days so toys of a certain colour are used only. I hope this helps with some ideas.

Exactly, she doesn’t care, she just loves you. Her frustration and whinging is because what she wants to do and what she can actually do don’t mesh yet. Like sitting up unaided, rolling somewhere, crawling...it’s not that you aren’t doing enough. Babies tend to grumble and fuss about all sorts of things, just as they become entranced by things you don’t notice.
The reasons they are unhappy change as they grow, and it’s rarely anything to do with the parent.
Toddlers tend to get frustrated because they know what they mean when they say AAAWWAGGSHHUP But you don’t.

Op seriously it's a little baby, shes neither bothered nor needs any of that baby classes stuff.

I used to do yoga using her as a weight, balance thingy.
We played in the bath a lot.
I wore her in a cloth sling whilst I did other stuff, and sang whilst I did it.

Honestly OP, you sound like a really caring mum but give yourself a break.

Babies coped and developed perfectly well in the decades before constant sensory, swimming and activity classes were invented - just play her some music, sing some songs, do incy wincy spider etc and wave some tin foil around and you’ll get exactly the same effect.

Make some shakers out of empty bottles with water/rice inside - can you take her out in the pram? DD finds the wind hilarious for some reason...

Seriously though, don’t beat yourself up, you are not ‘letting her down’. I’m currently trying to work from home with an 18 month old who is having far more than her share of peppa pig and is missing nursery so I understand

She gives no shits and has zero grasp of any change whatsoever. She exists on 15 minute increments!

Are you able to go for a walk / fresh air ? Just a short walk is so exciting for them while you narrate for her, even though she cant understand she will love looking at new things and hearing your voice .
Ds at that age loved laying on a blanket in the garden ( in the shade) and just loved kicking his legs and looking up at the trees.

My 5 month old is currently playing with her favourite new toys. One is the rubber straw out of her brothers cup, the other a clean sock.

She is loving life!

Baby classes are nice but they really aren't essential. Our babies aren't going to suffer.

I just think she must be so bored and frustrated and I feel so bad for her!

5 month olds don’t get bored. Everything is new. If daily classes made you happy then great, but it was never necessary especially at that age - I went to one a week with my DS at that age and the occasional library nursery rhyme sessions. I know some people who don’t bother with them at all - they’re not doing their babies any harm or ‘boring’ them as a result. Plenty of nice things you can do at home together. And doing nothing special is fine too - let her watch on while you fold the washing, play with a sock etc. Babies and children don’t need elaborate parental entertainment 24/7. Bare in mind if you had another child to homeschool now you wouldn’t have time to give her personalised entertainment all day.

I could have written this myself OP. I feel the same way with my son, it just feels like I'm not doing any good but then I look at what we do and try to think this is enough.

He's 5 months as well, we have tummy time, singing, sometimes something on the TV. Recently he has taken to whacking me with the TV remote and throwing my phone away 😂 You know what he seems happy and it keeps me going. I can sympathise with the whinging as he's the same but it's down to wanting to be on his feet and teething...might be the same with your daughter?

Focus on the good stuff and remember for them, all they want is us.

Have you watched ‘The baby club’ on CBeebies? DS is already two but really enjoys watching that. I wasn’t aware of it when he was a baby but if I had a 5 month old I would definitely be sitting watching that with them and joining in with the play and songs.

My 7 month old just rotates between boob, meals (which take fecking ages), play and sleep. Every day is the same, they are fine.
I’m bored to tears as desperately missing the lovely life we had of baby groups, friends, lunches and cake. But my baby is fine.
Your baby is fine @BirdIsland

She isn't arsed and won't remember it. I feel the same some days about my 14 month old, but we can only do what we can do so I try not to be too hard on myself.

I am probably projecting, I am so bored that I assume she is too, particularly when she gets grumpy and whingy towards the end of the day. The groups were definitely for both of us, that purpose every day kept me sane but it was also nice to see her looking at other babies, seeing new places etc. I'm sad we can't do that anymore and feel sad for her that she's missing out (but aren't we all missing out). She doesn't sleep well either so I think because I'm tired too I feel like I'm not being the best mum because I'm so knackered everyday.

Online stories sounds good, I'll have a look for those - my neighbor actually writes children's books, maybe I can convince her to do it! And we do try get out for a walk most days which does always make me feel better.

Thanks everyone - this was the nice gentle kick up the bum I needed to just relax a bit and some reassurance that I'm not a terrible parent.

Babies grumble anyway, and sleep can change in the blink of an eye with regressions etc. Honestly I know what you mean, but she is fine, and will be okay, we are all in the same boat. Many libraries are live streaming rhyme times or there's something like hartbeeps at home, but all she needs is you right now. And she won't remember anyway.

Don't see it as her missing out. See it as her gaining lots of extra special time with you.

OP, I'll swap you my 14m old and 2.4yr old for your 5 month old in lockdown 🙏🏼

Take her for a walk or just put her in a sling and potter around the house. They don’t need entertaining at thy age really, just closeness.

Wait until you have a second one op, the guilt disappears. My baby is doing fine, it's my 3 year old I feel sorry for because he is aware and needs the stimulation.

Oh bless you. I don't need to reiterate what everyone is saying on here but honestly sing, talk, talk, talk and long baths times for both of you.

It must be so tough stuck at home with a little one but do go out every day and show the baby the trees and flowers or clouds etc etc. Just walk and talk. X

Try teenagers OP, honestly you've got it easy in comparison.

Honestly OP, she doesn't care. At this age all she needs is to see you and hear your voice etc. Reading stories, doing little peekaboo games, walks looking at trees and talking about what you see - that is enough. Baby groups are really only for parents (no bad thing, they were a lifeline to me!)

Like you say, this is a great opportunity to try and work on her nap schedule, while you are not out and about.

Have a look at some instagram accounts for some play ideas- a lot are for slightly older babies, but there are some good ideas for sensory play etc. Will help to fill your day!

If you have a garden, spend as much time as you can out there too if the weather is ok. Feels like going somewhere else for a bit.

Me and my 8 month old have never been to a baby class or sensory session and honestly I don’t feel like she’s bored or been let down in any way.

Honestly these things are more for mums than anyone else, babies really don’t care so long as they have a few toys they are happy! She’s at her happiest sitting in her high chair chatting away with my pottering around the kitchen. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

She s 5 months. Change of scene for her is being put under the table or next to a long curtain instead of her usual place.
Get on floor to her level. Then think how to explore other levels with her.
.you are bored.
She is not.
Household objects pots and pans light ones to explore. You dont need much.