Expressing & formula - unsuccessful breastfeeding

[Crimblecrumble1990]

Hi all,

First post so hope it is in the right place.

I am currently expressing and also feeding my baby formula - around 50/50. Ideally would like to bottle feed only expressed milk but am not able to pump enough.

I planned to breastfeed but my baby was in the NICU for 4 weeks with a dummy from day 1 and fed through tube/bottle. As a result I have struggled to establish breastfeeding with him since he has been home and because he was poorly it is important we know he is well fed so am trying to make my peace with not breastfeeding him. (I have had some breastfeeding support over the phone but unfortunately it's not the same as being able to see someone in person.)

Before birth I always thought I would give breastfeeding a good go but if I needed to go with formula then so be it no problem but since that is actually the reality now I am struggling with it a bit (Guilt/feel robbed of the newborn breastfeeding story/bonding etc)

I absolutely know that fed is best and I wouldn't for one minute judge anyone for how they feed their baby. I guess I'm not really looking for reassurance as I know I'm doing what's best for my baby, but am just keen to hear if anyone has had a similar experience or emotions?

Thanks in advance

Hello,

Blimey, it sounds like you've had an incredibly tough journey, and you've done your absolute all to try and get bf established. I can only imagine it is harder than ever before at the moment, given the lack of support currently available.

My situation is a bit different, but my experience;

I was desperate to ebf. Read everything possible before DD was born, wouldn't entertain formula / bottles in the house etc, was very clear that I would just make it work.

Then I had a rubbish labour, emergency section and both DD & I were in for a week. Nothing too terrible, but it was hard. I managed to get bf going, and she was actually gaining plenty of weight. Despite gaining well etc, it was just relentless- constant feeding, screamed if she left the boob. I got to 6 weeks and just cracked- I couldn't do it any more. I was starting to resent her, and was not enjoying any of motherhood. I switched to formula (and had the wracking guilt, tears, feelings of failure) but my GOD it was the best thing we could have done for DD (and me!)

She was far more content and happy. Fed 3 hourly ish, happy in between and I could enjoy just cuddling and talking to her, as well as little trips out. I was much more well rested, so felt better in myself too.

DD is about to turn 3 and is a picture of health - very rarely ill, regulates her eating etc very well and eats a varied diet, and is bright as a button. I'm due another DD in August, and will be preparing with formula etc at home. I'll give bf a go, but will not put so much pressure on myself if it is as difficult next time. It ruined my first weeks with DD. Formula saved my sanity, and finally helped me enjoy motherhood.

Wishing you all the best with your new little baby.

Hello,

Sorry I am not much help but just wanted to reply to say you are not alone.

My baby was born three weeks ago. I do not live in the UK and we have different regulations in the hospitals where I live. I had to do a swab test for the coronavirus prior to birth so that I could have a birth partner with me and be with my baby after the birth...but I was three weeks early and hadn't yet had the test when I went into labour! Therefore I was also separated from the baby... despite not actually having the virus!

I have also struggled with breastfeeding, which I believe is due to the above as the baby was given bottled formula from the very beginning by the hospital staff. I was also advised that as my baby is small I should breastfeed and then top-up with formula, which I believe resulted in my supply being low.

I stopped the formula around 2 weeks ago and am currently expressing milk after doing some research online as to how to increase supply and giving this to the baby in Medela bottles. I am trying to express 8 times a day for 20 minutes each breast...but I am really struggling with this whilst also caring for my baby! I am also STILL trying to breastfeed occasionally but finding it really upsetting as the baby doesn't seem satisfied/gets angry and upset at the boob. Our paediatrician has said she is small and still learning her sucking reflex properly PLUS we think she has colic, which is making her really upset and making latching on more difficult.

I feel like I have also been robbed/missed out on the breastfeeding experience, which is why I'm still trying to do it despite it ending in tears (me and baby) everytime! I am considering going back to the formula too, but much like you I have these awful guilty feelings about it, which is ridiculous. I would not judge anyone else for giving their baby formula so why would I judge myself?! It is so hard to know what to do.

What we have to remember is that things could be worse with this virus around and as long as our babies are fed that is all that matters. We also have to think of our mental health...pumping is not easy.

I really do feel for you and hope you are Ok, whatever you decide to do!

x

Hi both, thank you for your replies. It's really helpful and makes me feel less alone in my worries! All the best to you and your little ones

Hello :-)

Very similar story here, I had planned to BF but ultimately it didn’t happen for us. I had a planned section, baby was great, we stared first 24 hours trying to BF, however she just couldn’t get her latch and suckle reflex right, and due to Covid19 I was alone on the post natal ward which was a horrible experience, and ultimately I needed to do something to make sure baby was fed so we could be discharged.
Currently almost exclusively pumping, 150ml a feed every 3 hours (3 weeks old now!) and she gets a formula bottle before bedtime. It’s working for us, I feel that she’s getting the goodness from me, and we have a little bit more flexibility. Most important thing is she’s thriving, gaining weight and seems happy :-)

Have you tried nipple sheilds? My DS was similar, born premature & in neonatal for weeks. Bottle feeding ebm was the only way to get him home but when i did i was using my own pump not as good as hospital and couldnt express much. I got nipple shields & he started taking bf but i had to top him up with a bottle of formula after for a while to make sure he was getting enough.