Failing at this parenting job

[CJ1990]

Hi ladies,

I'm just after some support, or even just a 'your not alone' right now. I have a 20month old and I just feel, expecially since lockdown, I'm massively failing her. I did have PND when she was born but I've been ok since. But I'm on furlough since lockdown (actually been at home working three weeks before official lock down) while my husband works and im literally loosing the will. I'm dreading getting up as it's another day same old S. It's tantrum City. She seems so angry all the time which starts me off feeling awful as I worry I've done something wrong already to be so grumpy (although I know she's probably just frustrated too).

She has so much tv in the day now but I've lost the will to get activities going. She has such a short attention span nothing lasts and so by mid morning I've ran out of steam. Then again que the mum guilt for not wanting to enjoy all this time together. I work and shes at nursery usually. And everyone says make the most of it. But rigjt now I just feel awful! I'm moody. So she's moody. Just feeling like the worst parent right now. I'm doing my best with the energy and will I have left. But it just doesn't feel enough. :( poor girls stuck in with me all day every day and is probably so bored! I don't know what to do all day every day any more. Which makes me feel worse. Que the never ending cycle of mum. Guilt!

Just wondered how others are finding it. And if you are having the same feelings as me xx thank you x

Hi,
I have a 22mo and a 4mo and husband is working from home; we also have a dog.
I pretty regularly lose my shit most days and feel very tired and drained, then deal with subsequent guilt about not doing baking/messy play/modelling/ etc etc with my toddler as these are her formative years etc etc. Which of course they are but you've got to try and give yourself a break from feeling bad about parenting - it's an exceptional and crappy situation.
My DD1 is like a mirror - she will just reflect what I am projecting and then everyone is in a bad mood. Try and deal with helping yourself feel calmer first. If you can try and get out with her once a day - it really helps - and do something for yourself if you can, because that helps too.
And sleep! I've forgotten what that feels like!
but you are not alone. I imagine lots of parents feeling similar.

Hi @CJ1990, sorry to hear you've been feeling down lately, please rest assured there is more of us that feel absolutely terrible at the moment (if this helps).

Be kind to yourself, it's hard enough entertaining a child all day long, it is a full time job.

Also agree with the above, getting out once a day for as long as we can manage helps a lot. It takes two forevers to get going and then when you come back all the organising afterwards, it eats up a lot of time (which is exactly the point). You could also maybe include your little one in the preparation (get the shoes, buggy, blankets, nappies, bring this, fetch that, open/close...) and then same when you get back. It is hard to "make up" things to do, but when you have things you need to do and she helps, it will all be much more natural and she will actually enjoy that.

Hope this helps, sending some positive vibrations, it will be OK!