Coronaboredom - early return to work?

[Rawrsome13]

I’m a first time mum to a 5 week baby and tbh although I truly love him I’m beginning to really struggle with life in lockdown, to the extent that I’m considering cutting short my mat leave and returning to work much sooner than originally planned - I’m frontline staff in a large hospital. The main issue is that I am super bored with the Groundhog Day type routine (if I’m honest with myself the early weeks were probably always going to be a bit of a struggle in this respect), lack of adult contact and knowing what to do with myself in the small windows when my baby is not feeding/sleeping. Before he was born I had spent a lot of time researching all of the local baby groups, BF cafes etc and would have planned to be out and about most days - I live in London so would also have spent time exploring the local galleries, museums, cafes and parks and obviously meeting up with family and friends.

I try to take LO out for a walk each day but have truly exhausted the local routes and am worried about walking further due to lack of places where I would be able to stop and BF him if needed given current restrictions.

Even if lockdown does not last in its current state forever, I just can’t envisage how baby groups and coffees/cake dates in cafes will ever be possible any time soon, or even being able to just casually wander around the shops. I don’t drive so am reliant on public transport to venture further afield. We haven’t been able to see any family/friends since being discharged from hospital so that is obviously also impacting my mood.

I am currently spending the whole day sitting on the sofa watching TV/listening to podcasts. I do Skype/zoom with friends and family. We are fairly limited on space and DH is working from home with lots of conference calls so we are set up in the living room so we don’t disturb him. I’ll admit to being a little jealous of everyone in lockdown without small children who are able to spend their days on elaborate cooking projects/learning languages/home decor etc. I would love to do some workouts etc but am only 5 weeks post c-section and everyone keeps warning me not to start proper exercise yet.

Does anyone have any ideas for how I can add some variety to my day? Suggestion for how to endure this? Or even just reassurance that I am not the only person feeling like a bad mum for not enjoying this currently. I’m wondering if it might get easier once little one is a bit more interactive.

Thanks

I wouldn't make any hasty decisions just yet. Your baby is still so young and lockdown is temporary. You're certainly not the only one not to be enjoying this though. Life with a tiny newborn can be groundhog day-ish enough without having literally nowhere to go. I'm also a "go out and do things" type who struggled in the first 12 weeks with mine and I'm sure lockdown would only have compounded that.

From 6 weeks your baby will start to smile and engage more and will slowly have more awake periods. In the meantime, do you have a sling? Newborns are generally very happy in a sling and with baby in there, you could do a spot of baking, some small home projects (reorganise? Clean?), maybe even do a short course online if you can focus (MOOCs are very diverse and quite cheap). Do you like jigsaws? And you could look for some gentle postnatal exercise routines online and try them. Mums used to restart the Buggyfit class I went to at 6 weeks post section, although they would skip some of the higher impact stuff to begin with.

5 week babies ARE boring, they get a lot better though. I always said I would have liked to had my mat leave once my twins turned 18 months and sent them straight into day care.

Who would look after the 5 week old whilst you're at work? My husband is a key worker but I'm not so we didn't get a nursery place.

As others have said, 5 weeks is a boring part! They do just eat and sleep. I was a C too. From 6 weeks I started yoga, keeping an eye on how my abs were coming back together.
Are you a reader? Could you volunteer as a telephone befriender? Anything to help pass the time until we can expand our circles a little further.

Thanks for some good suggestions - @chainsawbear. Yes I’d been intending to get a sling but was going to borrow one from sling library to try first, however think I might just go for it and buy something on line. Also like the jigsaw idea! Especially while LO still immobile...

@snowdropfox - I’d have to give 3 months notice to return as have said I’m taking 12 months so it would not be an immediate thing. There are childcare options where I am but it’s obviously not something I’d decide to do lightly as I did think I would like to spend this time with my baby and am also aware that going back would mean putting myself and family more at risk (though I think this will be an issue regardless of when I go back).

To be honest I think the combination of hormones, sleep depression and missing friends/family is making it feel worse than it probably is.

*sleep deprivation

Believe me I can really sympathise with how you're feeling. I'm full of jealousy pangs that my boss is working as an NHS hospital volunteer and actually seeing people and doing stuff, which I can't do as my local hospitals are stacked and I have small DC I can't really leave in the evenings. And when my first baby was tiny I felt a bit like I was losing it when it was just me and the baby.

Hit post too soon! But a baby changes and develops so much in the first year and it gets easier. Plus I do think that time is so good for attachment, if you can take it.

Maybe it will help if you take the time in shorter chunks. How about planning to get to 8 weeks then 12 and see how you do. After 12 weeks things often really settle - baby's sleep, your hormones and milk supply etc. And don't underestimate the effect that broken sleep will be having on your mood and MH.

Hang in there.