ADVICE - What's a typical day like with a newborn?

[usernameannonymous]

Hi everyone,
I'm expecting my first little one soon and wondered if anyone could give a rough guide of what their day consists of, like a timetable, so when they go down for naps, when the have a feed, when you usually change their nappy.
Of course I know that there isn't any 'schedule' when you have a baby, and things don't necessarily happen at specific times, I just wanted a rough idea of what your day consists of.
I'm doing lots of research to prepare myself too but it would be nice to hear someone's real life experience.
Thank you in advance

I FF so it was easier to log feeds (and I liked having the data because I'm like that!). I agree it's more of a pain to log if you're BF.

It's just as described above. A treadmill of feed, change, sleep. Punctuated with cleaning up sick and poo. Time loses its meaning, the cycle goes on morning noon and night. It's a bit like when you have an afternoon nap and wake up feeling blurry and confused, but all the time.

The best thing you can do to prepare is have tons of fresh comfy pyjamas, leggings and big t-shirts (you will live in these!) and make sure you have lots of healthy snacks to hand, like bananas, dried fruit, etc. I found it all too easy to dive into the biscuit tin and it left me feeling even more lethargic and yuk! My best buy for me was a large water bottle (the type with a snap on lid and a built in straw). If you're breastfeeding you will be very thirsty and it saves constant trips to the kitchen when you're holding the baby.

I also second writing down feeding times, you think you will remember but it is so easy to forget when you're exhausted.

I found it was just to be endured! Endless sleep, feed, change, repeat. Getting up and out for a walk or to run errands really helped give me some structure to my days. I'd try to get a nap at some point and it didn't matter too much about cleaning the house or making food - I'd make sure I was on top of the laundry but we ate a lot of supermarket pizza and fish & chips! I'd leave DS with my husband in the evenings so I could get a shower and an early night ready for the nightshift.

I have a 5 month old and I was surprised how much he slept the first couple of weeks. The first couple of days after he was born I had to wake him up to be fed, then I’d change him and he’d be back to sleep. If it’s your first I’d definitely try and sleep some when your new baby sleeps because those sleepy days disappear fairly quickly.

A newborn will mostly sleep - they can stay awake for maybe 30 minutes at a time, if that. And those awake times are spent feeding and changing nappies. This is all completely at random, babies have no inner sense of time or time passing. When people say ‘mostly sleep’ it sounds like there won’t be much to do - but babies like sleeping on you best, so even then you are very much occupied. Babies need and want lots of cuddles.

Oooh also one thing to add - I assumed that babies fell to sleep when they're tired. They dont, especially after the initial phase. For my son at least, he kind of 'woke up' at 10 days old and he was harder to get to nod off to sleep.

I didnt fully understand that though, and ive just kind of learnt him. Its taken two weeks of an agitated baby before I learnt that I need to watch out for sleepy signs from him, then start with the sleep interventions. Its made for a much happier baby. That would be my biggest tip after the initial phase is over.

The newborn days were the most challenging of my life. I had a very unsettled newborn who needed to be held up high and in constant motion. She also screamed for the first few weeks (terrible silent reflux).

I’m only saying this because if you don’t end up having the experience you wanted, you are not a failure, you aren’t doing anything wrong and it DOES get better as they get older. Also, ask for support if you need it. I was quite ill but received excellent support from my local perinatal mental health service.

The awful newborn is now a delightful 9 month old and I love her, but it’s been a long road.

That's a really good point @Ihaveoflate; newborn days might not be what you expect or want and that's fine. I felt like my DS was an alien for the first few weeks because it just felt so strange to think he might actually be a real human baby. He's definitely a real human baby though!

I was lucky - my little girl settled herself into a routine v v quickly (it would change a bit every fortnight) but would then be established for another week or two until another change.
7or 8 breastfeed in bed
Up, dressed, breakfast for me (baby in sling or bouncy chair) bath for baby (we both enjoyed it)
9-10 walk into town (baby sleeping in sling)
10ish change nappy in Sainsbury's, breastfeed, buy lunch for me
Walk home
12 ish lunch for me & breastfeed
2-5 retire to bed with baby who slept solidly as long as I didn't put her down, snooze, box sets, kindle for me
5-6 walk round house (baby in sling) putting stuff away and getting dinner for my husband
7-10 baby awake - couldn't be put down!!
10pm try and get her down after breastfeed
12 wake up feed
3am/4am feed

That was the first 4 months - at 4mknths she dropped the 4 hour afternoon snooze which was a real shock to the system!!!

I found it confusing before I had the baby, when people said it was just feeding, sleeping, nappy changes on repeat. When people say that it sounds so easy!

What I didn't realise is that feeding can be quite tough to establish at the beginning, but also that most babies don't just sleep when they're tired after the first couple of weeks. Getting them to fall asleep and stay asleep can take ages and many of them won't sleep unless you're holding them so you're out of action for hours during the day. Or you can carry them around in a sling which is a bit less inconvenient but does still get pretty old when you have to do it for six hours a day.

If you don't enjoy it, that's ok - actually I think the majority of people don't really love this stage. It has its wonderful moments but it's mostly a bit of a slog. Although it doesn't feel like it at the time, it passes REALLY quickly.

@Ihaveoflate - do you mind if I ask you some questions on the silent reflux? Our near 5 week old I’m sure has it and the GPs are split decision-wise.

@ELW85
Yes, of course. Feel free to PM me (wouldn't want to hijack the OP's thread!).

@Ihaveoflate @ELW85
You wouldn't be highjacking the thread, go ahead

@usernameannonymous - thanks OP!

@Ihaveoflate - thanks for taking my questions! Basically I noticed DS had started making grunting noises about a week ago. Docs all thought it was normal, but I thought he sounded hoarse, although his voice/cry isn’t hoarse.
After some feeds, he’ll cry, and go stiff and red. He sometimes makes what looks like hunger cues but if you feed him more, he tends to spit up.
When he’s had a feed, I keep him sat up and watch him; he will often be asleep and then either cough or start gagging and wake up pointing to his throat as if he’s tasting something again.
He doesn’t have any problem with sleeping to be fair, but I’m wondering if the voice thing is hoarseness because of reflux. He also sounds like he has a cold.
One GP has prescribed Baby Gaviscon, which we haven’t tried yet as it’s not every feed but the other has said she wouldn’t Medicate as it could give him constipation.
Does any of this sound familiar?
My main concern is that this morning, I feel like even his voice which was clear before sounds a bit raspy.
I’m a FTM and he’s nearly 5 weeks so I feel very neurotic but also terrified he’s unwell and I’m missing something.

@ELW85

Many reflux babies also have something called a ‘floppy larynx’ (Laryngomalacia). They grow out of it eventually and it’s not something to be overly concerned about, but does cause them to make strange noises. My baby sounded like a honking goose and was an incredibly noisy sleeper, but she grew out of it by 5 or 6 months.

My GP prescribed Gaviscon at 3 weeks and she had the maximum dose. It was fantastic for us and helped enormously. She was prescribed Lanzoperazole by the paediatrician at 12 weeks and he advised early weaning, which we did at 5 months. I have to say, the move to solids was transformative and helped her to digest the milk better. She was off all medication by 6 months. My baby has been bottle fed from birth so giving her medication has been easier, but I do know BF babies who have done well on Rinitidine and just missed out the Gaviscon altogether.

There is a recognised treatment pathway that doctors go through: Gaviscon, then Rinitidine (both can be prescribed by GP), then a Paeds referral for Lanzoperzole or similar. We just missed out the middle stage. We didn’t have any issues with constipation with Gaviscon, but it can be an issue for some.

Saying all this though, lots of babies have reflux with no detrimental effects. Doctors will only go down a treatment pathway if it’s causing distress, which for my baby it clearly did. You know your baby best. If he’s screaming in pain and very unsettled then try Gaviscon. On the other hand, if he isn’t overly affected, then be assured that he will grow out of it eventually and for many babies is a normal developmental thing.

Does that help? Let me know if there’s anything else.

@ihaveoflate - thank you so much; that’s so, so helpful. Definitely sounds like our little one in terms of the noise!
The only thing that’s pushing me towards the Gaviscon is that I’m worried his voice is being affected, but as it’s not every feed he’s crying, there’s a part of me thinking of leaving it for a while. It’s so hard as I don’t want to over Medicate but I also don’t want to affect his voice long-term (if that’s what it is).
It sounds like your poor little one was really distressed most of the time?
I’m so pleased you had great medical support and a great outcome!

@usernameannonymous I know you’ve had a lot of answers but just had to share mine - DS now 9 months basically fed, slept and needed nappy changing constantly. On the plus side it meant I was watching loads of box sets while he napped and fed on me, but i remember hilarious moments where he would be feeding (I breastfed) then he pooped, and wouldn’t want to continue breastfeeding til hed had a fresh nappy, so I would change him then bf again, only for him to poop again and the cycle continues obviously it settled and this was in his first two weeks! It’s fatigue unlike anything I’ve experienced before but such a lovely time!