Has anyone else felt sad whilst breastfeeding?

[Ajlaisy]

Everytime my baby latches on I get an instantly feeling of homesick or sadness and I'm not sure why like a pit of sadness in my tummy and it goes away when she's finished, has anyone else experienced anything like this?

How old is your baby?

Breastfeeding can stir up some strange hormones.

Oooh I know this! Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex. Look it up. It’s exactly as you describe- homesickness. I had it but thankfully mild. Just a sort of wistful feeling.

Yes, as someone said google D-MER. It’s a very real thing!

I used to get this. As soon as my baby latched I would get a lump in my throat, anxiety and an overwhelming feeling I'd forgotten do so something... !! I breastfed for 6 months and it started after about month 4 or 5. It wasn't what made me stop BF though

Oh wow yes I got this with my son, I put it down to the hormones as he was in NICU for several weeks. We didn't get him to latch for several weeks but I pumped and every time I did I felt so sad and sometimes it made me cry. Think it stopped after a month or so.

Yes it's a real thing as others have said. So strange!

Thank god its a thing she's 3 weeks old and it's only just started, I really liked breastfeeding at first but this week I've just had this horrible feeling when she does it, even to the point where ill get a bit teary.
Least I know I'm not the only person to feel this way!

D-MER! I get it badly for the first 6 months or so, then it gradually fades away. Horrific though. Like a sense of hopelessness.

No breastfeeding support people that I've spoken to ever seem to have heard of it, so my research has been purely online, and it seems there's nothing that can be done for it... I just try to think of something else whilst the let down occurs, but even then it's a pretty overriding feeling.

It does go away eventually though, in my experience. Grit your teeth through this horrid stage

Ah your post made me remember this op. I had it with my second, I also had a really awful feeling at times that I just wanted him "off" me which was actually quite distressing. Definitely hormonal, and it doesn't last. Deep breathing was helpful, I fed him until he was over 2 years so it didn't cause too many problems

I had this! And anxiety but only when breastfeeding. I never figured out what it was. Hugs.

I had this - desperately sad, specifically only when feeding. I didn't find out about D-MER until I had my second dc. I was so glad to find it's a thing! Really wish NCT or one of the many breastfeeding classes had mentioned it though.

I had this! I'm glad it has a name, although it was long ago for me. I thought I was the only one!

Lonely, hollow, depressed feeling. Awful. Brought me to tears.

That plus not being able to keep the weight from falling off killed BF for me. I did have PPA, but BF just made it worse.

yes i had that with all 3. I didn't realise it was a thing & I remember describing it to my Dh as feeling homesick.

I sometimes got this, for me it was more noticeable if I was in anyway dehydrated, if I had plenty to drink I didn't get it.

Wow, after three kids and four years breastfeeding I had absolutely no idea it wasn't just me! That is for some reason really reassuring, I thought I was a bit mad. We all are, great!

Wow I've never heard of this. The human body is a weird weird thing. Especially when it comes to anything pregnancy/birth related. I've learned so much weird stuff since I became pregnant and have joined MN

I had this too!!!

Well, I've never heard this from breastfeeding advocates - do wish they would be more honest about what it can be like!

I never felt anything during breast feeding, and that made me feel inadequate enough after being told what an ecstatic, bonding, oxytocin filled experience it would be!

Me too. I used to feel this all consuming despair the second they latched. Used to sit there weeping over them. With dc1 I had some mental health issues so I just put it down to them. Couldn't believe it when the same thing happened with dc2 even though I had felt absolutely fine til my milk came in. A peer supporter I was sobbing all over told me to look up D-MER when dc2 was about 2 weeks old (and rather damp from all my tears).

DMER- isn't it bizarre? I find it worse when I am dehydrated, so drink a lot of water. I also find it helps to just observe the feeling, like a spectator, if that makes sense. Just sort of watch it come and go, think 'what an interesting hormonal sensation', and then it goes and I forget about it.

In my experience it fades and is gone a few months in.

It was rough at the start though, especially because I didn't know what it was and even the lactation people I spoke to didn't seem to know about it.

Yes I had this, though luckily the bf counsellor I saw in hospital did know about it - she called it “letdown blues”. As soon as the milk started flowing I would feel like crying and sometimes start sobbing. However it did get much better over time, as I got more used to bf and not as engorged.

I had this too, it does get better over time. As they got older I used to get ‘the feeling’ when they latched on but it passed quite quickly.
When I fed DC3 for the first time and it washed over me, I distinctly remember thinking ‘Oh yes, I’d forgotten about that feeling’!