Not worth anything

[choosecan]

It's lockdown and everyone's tired.

I'm a sahm but I don't want to be anymore. I know everyone is at home at the moment.

I have twins, they are 2 years old and my maternity leave wasn't enough for 2 in my opinion. I felt like I hadn't had enough time with them. I left work but now I want to return. Childcare costs so much for two.

My husband works and sometimes I am so knackered and I need his help.
I feel like I am sacrificing myself for my kids as I want to work but we can't afford childcare.

My husband usually helps and he doesn't mind but the other day he said that he does everything, works and takes care of the kids. It upset me so much as I want to work but we can't afford me to. Also, looking after the kids is difficult work. He said I was up to me to find something that afforded us to pay childcare. I have been looking and have a degree but well paid jobs are few and far between where we live and you need a professional degree.

I could easily tell my husband to find the childcare costs. It made me feel so worthless.

I'm sorry you're going through this at the moment; it sounds tough! I really think being a working mum gives everyone a great balance and truly is the best of both worlds!

What is your degree in? What work did you do before you had your children? I'm sure you'll find something when all of this is over.

Don't let your husband tell you what to do. He can't have it both ways, moaning at what you do as a SAHM but not wanting you to work either. I'd tell him that an equal proportion of both of your earnings needs to be put towards childcare i.e 25% of what you earn, 25% of what he earns or whatever you think is reasonable (literally just pulling these figures out of the air, I don't know how much childcare for 2 costs in your area or what he earns).

You're not alone in wanting a family and a career so please don't feel upset xxx

Can you stick it out a little longer? When your children are 3 they will be entitled to free early years hours which can be with a childminder or nursery, that will hugely reduce the cost.

Just to be clear are you saying you can’t afford 2 sets of childcare out of your wages or out of the family income?

Hello could you work when your husband is at home? My husband works office hours Monday to Friday and so I work nights and weekends. Once they are three and they have their free 15 hours each you could then change your job or up your hours?

Maybe you could have a look at night courses in your area and make a plan for what you want to do. My local college offer evening courses in various areas bookkeeping, accountancy, counselling, massage therapy, etc. It all costs money but it’s something to aim for. I feel when I have a plan it helps me focus.