Is it ok for a 10yr old to walk home on his own in the dark?

[cheeset]

A new family has moved in up the road and their 10yr old is allowed to walk home on his own.First night he was round, I asked him if he had to be home at a certain time and he told me 'anytime'.I sent him home as it was getting dark.
The second time getting dark the same thing happened but his mum rang to ask me something, I told her he was at mine(she had no idea)and asked her what time she wanted him home and she said 'antytime, when youv'e had enough of him'. I pointed out that it was dark and she said it was alright to send him back when he was ready and was really casual about it. Tonight,I have just sent him home now and its dark,something could have happened on his way home and she wouldn't know what time to expect him? I don't think it's fair to put this responsibility on me. If I ring to check if he got home safely, she'll play it down and I will feel stupid for being so paronoid. Should I say something? Any suggestions?

My DD will soon be 9 and she is not allowed anywhere without me! As mad as that may sound, thats just the I am. I don't quite know how I will let her out alone, I guess it will be when she starts secondary school.

I even panic if she is playing outside the front of our house inside the gate incase someone takes her. Totally nuerotic I know but I can't help it

So, in answer to the OP, no it isn't okay for a 10yo to walk home in the dark.

Hi Kid, my son has only recently started going out on his own, really into his bike and alway on it calling for neighbours kids. He has to do a 20 check-in when around our estate/long road and as from today, the park with older kid but has to be back within the hr.He is very responsible and comes back bang on time because he knows I will let him out again, works two ways. I was worried sick within the first couple of weeks but it is working well at the mo. They are children tho and we are the adults and I know how you feel.

20 minute check-in!

I have asked him what time he needs to be home everytime he has come into our house and always the same response, 'whenever, anytime, my mum says i can come home anytime'.

I have said to him to go home before its dark and did do tonight but he was out in garden playing.

He comes round on his bike, alot of the kids around here at sch so know each other.

She only rang once before and that was to ask me to do something unrelated.I told her on that occasion he was here as she had no idea.

She didnt ring tonight to find out where he was, I think she should have.

I agree with you and beetroot that the boy sounds under supervised, cheeset and am sorry if I came across as unsupportive (AbschumMutter was my German translation). I do see your dilemma and think it is great that you are concerned about this child and offering him support. I just wanted to point out that your specific comments to the boy could actually make the situation worse in that they could destroy his confidence that he is safe in his local area. I honestly think it can be damaging for children to internalise adult perceptions of the world as inevitably full of dangerous people. There are, imo, less frightening ways to highlight safety issues. Just a thought.

agree scummy

cheeset where do you live ? It's just that there's a 10 yo boy who's moved next door to us "A" and I also feel he's undersupervised. Don't know the mum really but tbh she's a bit of a shouter (though the boy is fine !). One day in the summer he called down from his bedroom to my ds2 (12) who was playing football in our garden with a friend, asking to join in. I said fine, so the 3 of them played happily. A little later, just before ds's friend B was due to be picked up (around 7.30), B and ds2 who'd lost track of time asked me if they could go to our local high street together. I said no as B's mum was due any moment/they had school next day/hadn't squared with B's mum that this was on the agenda at all etc etc.

The odd thing was A had called through the fence to his mum who had AGREED this. She turned up on the doorstep to say yes B could go off about a mile away with ds2 and B, 2 boys he'd never met before ! I was really surprised; he's small for 10, a good head and shoulders smnaller than B and ds2, and ds2 and his friend (OK I know they're fine) could have been real tearaways/bullies, anything !

everyone has to make the decision on their own children as to what age to give them what responsibility at and it is often different ages for different children in the same family. But you have to do what makes you feel comfortable when other children are around, I would ask another mother to ring me to let me know my ds of 10 had arrived safely at her house and I would ask the same of the mother in question here, its for my peace of mind, it is her call whether she trusts her ds with the walk home in the dark