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Parenting

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Original poster

you know that feeling..dont you?

7 replies

Donbean · 08/10/2004 11:43

Just been to a play group for the first time EVER.You know what its like, a room full of people who seem to know each other and you dont know a soul. That feeling of unease. Thank goodness i han DB to concentrate on as you just dont know where to look do you!!! feel daft but am going to persevere and go next week as its good for DB. Im sure i will get to know them all and it will be ok...wont it?
Im not very good at this sort of thing and get into a bit of a state prior to leaving the house,do you too?I know im not mad and im sure im not alone in this.Moral support would be nice..

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littlerach · 08/10/2004 11:47

Yes it is hard but it is usually worth it!!!

I remember going to my first NCT postnatal coffee morning and DD1 cried so much I didn't want to go back!! My sister made me, like she said,I had nothing to lose. So I did and it was fine and she didn't cry as much and I made some good friends.

You have one thing in common at least, probably more, so try it again!!!

Good Luck

snmum · 08/10/2004 11:48

oh god yes! I am sure we have all felt like that. i have only braved our local group once!! really must make more of an effort (me not you)

Marina · 08/10/2004 11:50

You've done the hardest bit Donbean, you've walked in there for the first time. Of course it will be OK but I really know the feeling of forcing yourself to leave the house and forcing yourself not to just keep walking past the hall entrance...
Gradually you will make friends there and even if you don't it's a good way to pass some time. I made some great friends from my postnatal baby group but it took me a while to feel comfortable. Turned out everyone else felt the same, if not worse. Go, girl!

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throckenholt · 08/10/2004 11:53

oh yes - I think a large proportion of people feel like that. I only went because DS1 was getting so bored at home.

You might find a smaller group like an NCT coffee group less daunting (you don't have to be a member).

Original poster

Donbean · 08/10/2004 11:59

Thanks, i knew it would be ok as they were all talking about different stuff that i was dying to join in on,you know the things that we all talk about. Its just a case of finding the right moment and hope to be included, get myself in there so to speak. I dont think that i am a dislikable person but i just have no confidence what so ever and worry that they will hate me or just put up with me. i tie myself up in nots, always have done. They were all tucking into coffee and jaffa cakes, i was so nervous i didnt have either (i wasnt offered any actually) so am absolutely GUTTED that i missed out on JAFFA CAKES they would have steadied my nerves without a doubt!! I will just have to have double next week to make up for this week....

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throckenholt · 08/10/2004 12:01

maybe hang around when they start getting the coffee ready and mutter something about helping - that way you get involved a bit more.

deegward · 08/10/2004 12:13

As chairperson of our local group - couldn't go today as ds1 has tonsilitus - I hope it wasn't our group. WE try to make sure that new people are introduced to established people or someone with children the same age. Keep going, and do offer to help, they will love you for it. I moved here 3 years ago at Christmas, and because of this group feel as though I have lived here forever

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