Ok, Ds1 is 4 and just started school. I was looking forward to having a free couple of days to spend with him. So far this weekend, he has:
Run up the road, trouserless, muttering something about going to Grandma's, with the keys, while I was on the phone, only to be returned by an arrogant undeergraduate who entered my house shouting that he had found this child in the street half naked and implying with scathing looks that I was a failing parent. Twice. (Different student)
Done SOMEthing to the baby to cause it to emit a shriek while I was in the kitchen, which was then strenuously denied...
Walked into town with me, and insisted on opening and closing Every rabbit hutch outside the pet shop several times. They already had to escort him back to another shop when he ran off last week so they know him...
On the way home from town, climbed the woody bank instead of coming with me, saying he'd 'meet me at the end' and then disappeared only to be found ten minutes later after I'd waited, walked round said woody bank, through a field and back and finally up to the road, holding some gullible woman's hand as he leads her back to our house, while I'm shouting like a hysterical loon from across the road.
Apparently he had been wandering around near, or in, said road...(I was holding pram and infant thus the lack of superhuman sprinting abilities throughout this episode)
Having found half an old computer printer he has had his eye on for months and always been denied due to it being amidst undergrowth in an inaccessible place on this woody bank, plus other numerous reasons, and somehow smuggled it home, proceeded to cover the floor, himself and everything in sight with potentially lethal black powder from within it.
Was confiscated on grounds of safety and placed in wheely bin.
Ds climbed on a plastic bucket to re-obtain said printer part and bring it in the hosue again, to worse blackening of everything in sight.
Oh and then....then, he did a poo on the carpet.
Does he win? Or does he need to try harder? I am SO glad he is going back on Monday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!