10yo wants to kill himself help

[Concerned7777]

So tonight my ds has twice took a knife to his room saying he wants to kill himself. He hasnt actually done anything and brought the knife to me each time, but shit where do I go from here?
Hes clearly not dealing with lockdown well hes stuck in his room bored 23hours a day ( he does come downstairs but not for long says it's boring goes back up). Hes a gamer but even the thought of another game of fifa is getting to him.
I have asked if anyone has upset him (he has WhatsApp with school mates no other social media) he says not. He just says he feels depressed all the time and wants to end it.
I'd say hes always been sensitive and intellectually mature beyond his years which I think does conflict with his emotional maturity.
Hes middle child from 3 brothers. Me and DH happy marriage fairly average family. He has good relationships with GP and lots of friends.
Help!

I'm so sorry, this must be really scary for you. I've recently discovered this website which is meant to provide support to children with mental health issues www.kooth.com/. I don't know what it's like. It might be worth calling your local CAMHS. Ours are doing video appointments. My daughter had her first session today. She is 12 and has talked about not wanting to be alive anymore. It's so hard to hear your child talk in this way. Sending love

I hope the night was ok. After posting last night I read the other responses and agree that you should contact CAMHS directly if allowed or through GP/out of hours services.

I might get flamed for this, but as I said before it might be worth having a chat with the school as to whether they could take him back a few days? I have a DS who is 8 ( youngest of 3) and I am a keyworker so out 3 days a week and DH is WFH also really busy so DS was essentially on his own for those three days (Not actually on his own obviously). It’s such a struggle to balance work demands and kids at home all day. DS was getting tearful and angry which is very unlike him so I asked school for a keyworker place for DS 3 days a week and they agreed.

Do you have a garden. The OP has said that she has a very small garden.

How are things today @Concerned7777?

DH stayed with him last night I could hear them talking and even laughing a bit til quite late so hes still asleep going to wake him soon.
Never ever would he be allowed to stay up past midnight normally but I think whilst he was engaging and chatting DH just went with it. Previous to this he was pacing in and out between his room and ours unsure what to do with himself.

Sorry if I’ve missed it but can he work in the living room or kitchen? Routine and keeping busy is key.

Has he regular webchats with friends and relatives? DS has virtual pizza parties with some of his friends and they all play a very silly online game (so not an adrenaline fuelled game) and make silly videos to send each other.

Are you able to keep a week routine - so it’s Saturday today so a film in the afternoon, dinner and board games?

Poor kid must be getting very stir crazy - but I know it’s hard with everyone into op each other. Does he know it’s ok to interrupt when you are working if he feels a wobble?

Hi OP

When my brother was about the same age he told my dad he was depressed and wanted to jump out the window. My dad locked the windows to protect him but didn’t do anything to address what my brother had said about his depression. To this day my brother remembers this specific occasion among others and how he felt his cries for help were ignored. I wish we were able to get him the help he needed earlier in his life as these things tend to build and build over time.

Your little boy is telling you he’s depressed and he wants to end it all on a few occasions now. As well as talking and listening to him which it sounds like you and your DP are doing, please acknowledge what he’s telling you and seek out support from a professional for him to speak to as well.

All the best.

Which country are you in with the one hour a day rule? Are you only allowed out once a day there as well?

In England we don't have this rule, and also we can go out more than once a day. I'm really sorry you are so limited. There might be exceptions for mental health reasons if you look into it, then perhaps you could take it in turns to spend time with him around working patterns. When you speak to your healthcare provider/gp they could perhaps advise on that as well

I have to say I am so relieved we have not gone down the overly restrictive path of some countries. If your husband is a key worker, are you able to speak to school if it is open and send him in (again, sorry, I know not all countries are doing this)

Make him do some work!

My DC are working through Khan Maths, Handwriting, Japanese and Piano. I bribe them to do everything. We have a Treats box (small sweets, drinks, things I don't normally let them have), and they can have 3 treats and earn $10 Clothing Allowance a day. I have also bought some cheap KMart things (toys, etc) and wrapped them up and they can have one of those instead of a treat.

They are not so bored, they're getting some work done and the treats give them something to look forward to. Then in the afternoon, they can go on their devices.

Sorry, I missed that you had a garden.

I do sympathise, and agree you should try CAMHS (be persistent - we had to beg for help for my ds with ASD and anxiety, and the wait was 7 months to see someone). In the meantime I'd be trying to him active and out as much as possible, and talk and talk and talk. Good luck OP.

If i were you I'd call your boss and say youre havig a family emergency and need to take a couple of weeks holiday immediately. Then spend time actually engaging with your son every day, and get him some proper help ASAP, even if it means calling 999

How are you doing OP?

Can you take some time off work? Sounds like this is a crisis point which needs your full attention.