Do you think lock down has improved your child’s behaviour?

[Lucyloula]

I’m curious.
I suddenly realised that for the first time in forever we are sitting down and eating every meal together as a family.
The children are not being shimmied off to one club or another or one party or another or one breakfast club to after school club.
It was hard at first but I’m now really wondering if the mental health of our children (obviously not in the cases of domestic abuse / poverty / addiction- all of which will be heightened during this enormously stressful time)
but for the households where these things don’t reside, where the children aren’t aware / are protected from the potential, financial storm that may be coming, are they more relaxed? I know mine seem so much calmer for just being together All the time. Obviously it’s tough at moments but on the whole.
Do you think this has helped the well-being of your children and if so, what as a society can we learn from this and take with us in a post lockdown world?

Yes I noticed this almost immediately and it also made me think that modern life is too stressful for children. By that I’m mainly thinking about the need for 2 parents to work so that life is always a rush and children are always being nagged and cajoled onto the next thing.

I do think this is damaging for mental health. Off the top of my head some reasons for this could be: they don’t get time to follow their own interests. They have limited time to relax. Family time is extremely compromised.

No! Both of mine, age 3 and 9, are really differing from the lack of social interaction. It is nice having quality family time. We’re playing board games every night. Having fun playing outside. But the 3yo is getting more aggressive and the 8yo very stroppy and emotional. They’re bright kids and I think we just can’t compete with our childminder and school for keeping them stimulated

My 6 year old seems a lot happier and more relaxed. I have felt like he's struggled since moving up to Year 1 and I think he needs more physical activity than he gets at school and less time sitting still and writing. He has been walking 5-6 miles a day during lockdown to keep him calm and happy; there is no way we could fit that in around school. I've noticed that he and his brother are a lot closer now and can play together for ages without fighting.

My 2yo has loved being at home with mummy and daddy (I'm on mat leave, dh is WFH). He has been much calmer and happier and less tantrummy. It's made me feel even more guilty about going back to work in September although I am going PT.

Nope! Opposite- my 2.5yr old is acting appallingly.

It has definitely helped my DD enourmously. She is 14, suffers depression and anxiety which she is medicated for. Since being at home she is so so much happier, more relaxed, she is talking to me so much more and we are really enjoying spending time together. I am dreading having to send her back to school knowing the detrimental impact it has on her mental health, but I don’t think there is any alternative sadly.

Not really - about the same as normal here, maybe a bit worse because of too much screen time. But we don't do hundreds of activities, parties etc and up until now I've always worked part time. I am looking at starting full time work (or I was, before this pandemic screwed my chances) so we might end up with the kids in childcare 8-6 scenario, although hopefully not - I'm hoping we can keep it down to something like 9-4, if DH and I can juggle flexi time well enough.

Mine vary. The just turned 3 year old is absolutely awful.
The bigger 3 are having moments of awful behaviour but on the whole are much happier and relaxed than usual. I'm a sahm so they aren't in childcare normally apart from school, but the more they are together the better they get on.

Yes from me. The eldest 9 does miss his friends but between xbox online which we relented on, house party and walk by garden chats he's fine. Youngest is hf asd and is blooming being at home with mummy and daddy all day. Lovely chats with both, lay ins til 8am every morning, lots of cooking and eating together. I'm not enjoying home schooling that much and the huge amount of housework isn't fun, but overall yes the children are much happier without football, rugby, swimming etc and both parents stressed travelling and working ft.

@Trinpy wow ... we regularly walk 1.6 - 1.8 miles with the dog in the morning and that takes us an hour-ish with a 4 year old and me with baby carrier so I'm slower than usual, but even then. I taken have the mileage from my phone tracker so don't know if it's accurate.

My kids are 5 and 3 and over the last few weeks they have become more cooperative, they no longer whine when asked to wash their hands, get dressed without help or tidy up etc. I think this is mostly down to the fact that I have more time and patience to insist on these things, whereas when I was working FT I often thought, sod it, I can't be arsed with this battle. And I'd end up doing it myself.

They are in childcare from 8.30 am to 3 pm five days a week, they each do one extra activity per week. We don't do much apart from that, afternoons are usually spent at the park and then we walk home, so I never considered their lives to be hectic. However, now that we can have a leisurely breakfast and there is no need to rush out of the house, I realise they are under pressure every day, which is probably why they have loved being at home so much.

Ours are more balanced. Prior to this they did Breakfast Club- School- Childminders. Home around 5.30/6. They were up and down, tired, huffy, hyper etc

Now they are just generally pleasant all day long and no spikes. Bit of whining about schoolwork but on the whole, wonderful.

I agree OP. I’ve got one that struggles at school and they can not stand it. They have specific issues though. They are so much happier just plodding along at home, in the garden on trampoline, playing with my other DC, on their computer and with games etc...

My other child is very academic and will be going to the local grammar school. She was worried about her SATS although she got over 97% in one mock test and 90% in the other 😳 so she’s happy to not do the official SATS, although pretty sure she’s have passed 😂

So I’m getting her to do some work each day but I’m letting her chill and relax most of the time to be honest. She’s finished the 30 questions before I can make the first lot. She’s too fast for me lol. So I don’t feel she’s going to go back to school and struggle.

So all in all it’s been lovely, more relaxing going for walks, baking, no up and out for 7.30. Obviously if it goes on indefinitely then I’d would be more strict with work but god now just enjoying it

So yes it’s improved in the sense my little one is more calm etc...

It’s improved mine! in that I’m not stressing at them to brush their teeth and hurry up get changed etc. But no unfortunately my DD was struggling, she’s gone back to school on Tuesday and is so much happier now.

Yes! Mine have been great and what’s more their relationship with each other has really improved, plus they are super helpful. It’s been amazing.

No my seven year olds getting frustrated and angry quickly when he was such a chilled, relaxed boy. My girls havent changed, they are fifteen and ten.

wow ... we regularly walk 1.6 - 1.8 miles with the dog in the morning and that takes us an hour-ish with a 4 year old and me with baby carrier so I'm slower than usual, but even then. I taken have the mileage from my phone tracker so don't know if it's accurate.

Tbf my dcs walking mileage is taken from my dh's phone tracker so it might not be 100% accurate either! It suddenly makes so much sense as too way he was always bouncing off the walls and struggling to get to sleep on school days. His sleep is a million times better since he stopped going to school.

My speech delayed son has gone from hardly talking to pretty much having full blown conversations with me. I’m wondering whether being stuck in the house has forced him to communicate with me!

Nope. DS1 misses school and his friends and is aware of how frazzled we are (both working FT from home, officially both key workers but can have DC at home so have). He and DS2 wind each other up something chronic so we have to keep on top of that. DS2 is very sad in patches about both the childminder and nursery...but at just 4 less aware of the wider context. We go for walks and DS1 is doing Joe Wicks but it’s less exercise than they’d normally get and the garden’s fine but confining compared to the playground.

Yup. Much calmer, and siblings getting along better now that they are each other's only friends (too young for proper screen/ phone chats with others).

Not usually overly busy, but school and 1 after school activity each a week, plus homework, seems to be more stress than they can cope with! They're much more pleasant and chilled now.

Food for thought when things go back to normal...

Mixed really. My 6 year old and 2 year old are developing a closer bond from all the time spent together and generally playing well together where my 6 year old would always be out at school and other things to spend a lot of time with his younger brother.

However my 2 year old can be a little more difficult because he is bored without his usual play groups and being able to explore larger areas(we live in a small flat). My 6 year old can also be sensitive and stroppy at times where he is fed up of being with me and having to be home schooled. He enjoys school, beavers, swimming and being able to go out to see family and misses it all a lot. He would also go out alone for days out with my mum. He is like most adults, he likes doing his own thing and finds it hard being with us all 24/7

No it's got worse. It's become quite clear she needs to structure of school to do school work and the incentives school provides. Her energy has nowhere to go, physical and mental. I'm still working so can't give her that attention.

Mine are very up and down. One minute playing nicely together the next a full blown meltdown, crying about not seeing schoolfriends, wanting to visit grandparents and fed up of being in the house. Constantly asking for snacks and ipad or other screens. Its emotionally draining for the whole family.

Up and down and I miss the structure they had but I am noticing stuff like how we are all sitting down to eat dinner as a family every night (plus having better, homemade meals all the time) and I am liking the pace of life and actually having the time/energy to enjoy things that were previously muddled in a mad rush between us both working. Makes me a little sad in a way..