9 month tantrums

[Helpme090]

I honestly thought a 9 month old was t9o young for this shit.

She seems to be constantly throwing tantrums at the minute, going rigid and throwing her legs up in the air when trying to do her nappy, smacking me to get away from her if I'm trying to wash her face or hands. Hitting her food away.
Constantly screaming at me to pick her up. Never been a brilliant sleeper but screaming having to go in her crib, it can last up to a hour and half to get her to settle. I've tried going in not picking her up, picking her up and cuddles and she's just hysterical.

Her dad seems to find the tantrums funny, I do to a certain point but in the one stuck in lockdown all day with her lol and I'm just wondering is this normal?.

I feel bad when I sternly tell her no, she definitely acknowledges the word and then screams even worse. I'm actually pretty exhausted at the moment and feel sometimes my patience are buckling and It makes me feel like shit, all new mums around me thriving and kids sleeping through. Just makes me feel like a failure.

Thanks for any advise.... hopefully.

In the first place sterny telling her no is a complete waste of time. The first tactic is to pre emt when she will kick off and manage that, eg nappy change, something in her hands that she can play with, QUICK change. If she can stand sometimes thats easier.
If she bats away food, remove it.
Be more consistent at bed time, dont just try everything, pick one routine, eg cuddle, story in to bed, leave, or Gradual Withdrawal method avoiding eye content.
She is desperately trying to get control, its uo to you to manage what she can control and what she cant. No use having a fight.

Rather than picking her up, sit down on the floor with her and play

Really on the no? A friend told me shes old enough to be told it but fair enough. I will try.
I never force feed I just find it frustrating when she wont eat any meal in the day and just instead has her bottles?.

Our routine is at 6.30 we go and read books and relax in dim lighting and then after a bottle I put her in her crib, i then rub her stomach and sing. Sometimes she goes right off playing with her dummies. Other times like I said huge kick off. My sister said never pick her up just keep going in and singing for a few minutes but she doesnt settle, she stops crying when I pick her up but then as soon as she's back down it starts. Basically you're right shes fighting for control and I think at the moment she has it.

She's 9 months old, she's not having tantrums she's trying to communicate with you about needs that aren't getting met! You need to reframe your thinking here, she isn't being naughty, she doesn't need to be told no or told off, she needs to be listened to and supported.

Snap. Although mine does have a number of teeth coming through at once so I'm putting it down to teething. She absolutely DETESTS bring laid down to sleep now (not sure whether it's a pressure thing) so just plonk her in with my V pillow that I normally sleep with and she just falls asleep sitting up with her face snuggled in the pillow. I often go to check on her and end up seeing something like this :

P. S I don't leave her like that. Constant checking and then remove the pillow and lay her down!

@SomeoneElseEntirelyNow do you have children? Because if you do and yours have never thrown a tantrum, then well done you for meeting all their needs!!!

When I wash her face to get the food off and she throws a tantrum, shall I just leave her dirty so I meet her standards?

@Gemm83 your little one looks adorable!!

I understand definitely my little one used to shove her face fully in me to go to sleep and I would keep shifting to make sure she could breath lol.

I'm sure it's just a stage hopefully ☺️

Yes, i do, i have a baby, and she cries and freaks out about things but she's not having tantrums, she's expressing herself because she has no other way to do so! Im not saying don't do things that upset her (nappy changes, cleaning etc), im saying reframe it in your head, because you sound very resentful of your baby and she's not doing anything wrong, naughty or unusual. A change of perspective could be really helpful here.

I'm not resentful to my baby, yes it's frustrating but I think every parent feels that. Well I call that a tantrum obviously your view is different. A tantrum is a way of expression as is crying, laughing. But in no way does that mean I'm not meeting her needs.

As for the sleep yeah I'm not perfect I don't know the best way to get her to settle but itll will eventually work out.

I was after some advise.

Id say that a 2yr old kicking and screaming because they didn't get to have ice cream is a tantrum, a 9month old baby crying because they don't like having their face wiped is just a baby crying. Tantrums are naughty behaviour that require discipline to fix, babies crying when theyve been put down or have their nappies changed or when theyve been left alone to sleep is just a completely normal way for them to communicate. It's not naughty, it doesn't require discipline, they have literally no other way of communicating. It's not a tantrum.