18 month tantrums help please

[moobar]

I wondered if anyone can advise or help re Dd and tantrums please. Is there a book I need to be reading? I looked at how to talk to kids but am unsure.

Here's the story. High high needs baby, the full works.

Now, not talking, but understands I'm sure. Very interested in animals, does all sounds there etc.

Tantrums are ridiculous (I had thought 2 for this ).

So for example. Outside, let's go and see the sheep. She sort of growls and lies down. Then screams. Ok so I can usually distract that one, chickens then? Oh look a duck. Carry on.

Routine stuff is harder. Ok bath time. Get all the way to bathroom, all ready, toys chucked in, lies on floor no no no. So I picked her up and put her in. She stopped. But I'm not sure I should be doing that? Like ignoring and forcing my way. For something like the bath.

Bedtime the same, absolutely crackers getting her into sleep bag. Then down no problem. Constant all day just now.

So distraction works if possible. But it's not always. Like a danger for example. If I say, a firm or shout no she laughs. I try not to shout but lockdown has pushed me a few times.

Is picking her up when she is like that a bad idea? Presumably because I can't keep doing it. As she grows. And I don't like wrestling her into bag or nappy on when she's screaming like that. Today nappies were more successful by me pretending to do a toy first but I can't always do that and she is kicking off constantly at moment.

Any words of wisdom would be very much appreciated.

With my dd there are definitely put in the bath days and then, she doesn't want to get out!! It's so varying and at bath time she's usually tired, hungry, getting ill. Now she's a bit older I do forgo a bath if its going to be a tussle. A routine or thing should have a good connotation so tickling hugging my dd (especially if I'm in a rush) can change the atmosphere of a routine whilst getting her dressed and out the door and most often she's half dressed until we get to where we're going. Also at home I use teddies or animals to talk to her to add cosiness and fun, to make her laugh before i ask if she can do something. It's a slow developing communication. Finding a toy in the living room seeing if it swims, adding a new toy to the bath works too. Having teddie wearing a sleeping bag and seeing how cosy he is in it or with my ds I got him thick fleece PJ's as he felt too restricted in the bags. There are definitely days when out to the park goes tits up and going home is the best thing. Just trying to share some tips and tricks. It's tough x

I don't really have much advice as such, but I just wanted to let you show some solidarity!

Ds is just starting to calm down but still has his moments and he's nearly 20 months. We've had this since the beginning of the year ('terrible twos is bullshit in my opinion!)

It has only started to improve because he's acquired an unbelievable amount of words in the last few weeks. I started using really simple words and phrases ("sleeping bag, then book") and repeating this ad infinitum until he got it. I greatly reduced the amount of words I was saying to him when we were doing routine stuff.

I also started giving him choices. Getting dressed and nappy change were flashpoints so I let him choose his clothes and pick a nappy out of the basket (senseless, because they're all the same but it gives him a sense of control!).

Bath time was also a bit of a problem so I let him help me make the bath and choose what toys he wants and even which order they go into the bath ("red dino, green dino then duck" etc). It takes forever and I really can't wait for this phase to be over because I end up involving him in everything I'm doing, but it reduces the tantrums.

I really hope this helps, OP. It's a horrible phase! Good luck.

Oh thanks both so much. Yes I read something about communication frustrating her. I hope that's right.

I have tried the fun aspect but will build on that. I chase her or she chases me to the bath. Lots of giggles. Sometimes bath fine, just yesterday was one of those days.

Today hasn't started well. Went into her room, good morning etc and put my arms out. No and lay down. So I went away and came back and tried again. Chatting as I was making breakfast I said shall we go and see the lambs today. No. Ok the chickens. No. Deary me.