What does it really f***** matter?

[goggles43]

Since the lockdown, I have been feeding my DC who is 3-years old whilst she is on the ipad/iphone playing games.
It’s so much bloody easier and quicker so I’m just thinking why can’t I continue this? The guidance is to avoid screen time during mealtimes but why exactly?
I am limiting the screen time outside of meal times and feel we are all happier as a result of the easier (and stress less) mealtimes.
A lot of my peers/generation grew up stuck to the tv yet we all turned out fine.
Apart from the obvious eyesight concerns, what’s the deal?

I have done this for periods with my DC, I was tired, they were fussy etc etc

They are 5 and 9 now and we eat at the table, apart from school day breakfasts as I'm rushing around getting ready so I let them munch toast in front of cartoons, they're not morning people! Weekends we eat a cooked breakfast all together.

As with everything it's about balance.

It's probably fine as a short term measure, but I wouldn't let it become the norm. As a PP said, imagine your tweens/teenagers doing this. Ideally you wouldn't get into a routine around this.

I think given the rates of obesity in this country it’s not as simple as saying “we turned out fine” - how much excess weight gain is caused by mindless (as opposed to mindful, iyswim) eating done in front of the telly?

Short term it would probably be ok if it lets you eat but I’d still be wary of forming a habit there, and I’m normally someone who isn’t that bothered about strict screen time limits for my own DC.

It’s fine to do this for the time being. You’re doing it so that your ds will eat enough. My friend did the same. You can create family times later.

It matters because meals should be a time for socialising and connecting. You’re also teaching your child to eat mindfully, which they cannot do it they are staring at the screen.

I cringe when I see young children eating meals in front of tablets etc. You are essentially allowing your child to form an addictive habit which could limit her future social skills for the sake of an easy life. Just not acceptable parenting imho.

Why are you feeding your 3 year old? Can they not feed themselves? Can they use cutlery? You need to be encouraging life skills and social skills. I work in Early Years and I’m sorry but we can tell the kids who don’t sit at a table to eat at home.

I think we're all cutting certain corners on lockdown- life is pretty intense. We have a 3 yr old too so i get why you are tempted to use the screen.

I think everyone above has spelt out why learning to sit and eat socially is important.

Maybe focus instead on other ways to make mealtimes a bit easier? Things I'm doing: making sure each meal has at least one element he'll be interested in, giving him little jobs (he chooses what crisps go in the bowl for lunch and runs to the cupboard with enthusiasm), limited snacks so he's hungry by the time the meal comes, fun 'puddings'.

I did this for a bit, especially at lunch. It was so much easier. Stopped around 4ish with no worries.

As many people have said, learning to pay attention to what you eat when you are eating is really really important for appetite and weight management.

What are you going to do when you want to take your kid out and eat without the iPad and they start to tantrum because they've become used to it?

During lock down it's been regular for us as we are having lots of quality time together. Anything messy is at the table but sandwiches etc are in front of tele. I get a bit of peace when they are finished and switch to ipads so I can tidy up. Their eating habits are a mixed bag (DD5 and DD2) they will eat it if they want it. When we do eat at the table their eating habits and manners are still great for their age.

Look at it this way, if you do it indefinitely you may struggle to get them to back into positive eating habits.

But, there's a global pandemic and life is all over the place. Do what you need to do but just keep in mind the advice given in the thread.

At 3 all children should be sitting at a table and eating nicely without being hand fed and without stimulation. Children are so spoilt these days!

@missyB1
I worked in Early Years for 30 years and one of the things I learned was not to be judgemental about parenting/ family life.
Not all families fit a particular ideal, not all families have a dining room or dining table or share the same customs regarding meal times.
🙂

Its lazy parenting thats why

I did this when my son was a toddler, but since about age 2 we've always eaten together at the kitchen table - if they're eating alone, I can see why they become problematic with food and TV etc. does help. Teaching them to eat is easier when they see you doing it.

Not the end of the world, but don't make it a habit.

I'm sure most kids are eating crap and watching tv at the moment, no big deal.

Well, it's going to be very difficult to break this habit/addiction when you don't want her to have the iPad at meal times.

Not worth it.

So you ask what is wrong with it. I ask what is wrong with engaging at mealtimes with your child. At times it may be difficult but too often short term solutions rather than long term goals are the order of the day. Sit down, chat and engage especially at the moment when we all have a little extra time. It's worth it in the end IMO. Though it is a matter of how much importance you put on table manners and family mealtimes, I admittingly have a thing for both

Samstirch I work in the Early Years department of a very expensive highly regarded independent school. Believe me all of our families have dining rooms and tables galore in their first and probably in their second homes too! Whether some of them can be bothered to sit and eat with their kids at those tables is another matter...

It's the kind of thing I've done and then massively regretted it and suffered huge guilt over and struggled to break the habit.

IMO it's not great because it removes that relationship between eating and listening to your own appetite. Means food becomes a kind of shovelling in while distracted sort of activity. The fact you're getting more into her is kind of proof of this, rather than being a positive, though I get it, DS1 barely ate anything at all until he was nearly 2 and it's horrible. As a result of the screen eating he also has absolutely awful table manners and it's always been too much of a hassle to commit to all sitting at the table together to teach him any and not a nice experience for anyone to the point we are just hoping age will do it for us (which it sort of is - he's 11 now and eats fine, especially when we're out and about/with non immediate family).

I know weight/eating can be tricky emotionally when she was prem - but she's not tiny any more, is she? If I have perfect parent head on, I would avoid the screens, try to bite back control over portion size and trust her to eat what her body needs. Aim to be present at mealtimes, see it as a social thing and just mentally block out the time it takes because it's OK for it to take that long, she's only little.

IRL I would most likely stick with the screens because it's easy, and lockdown is exhausting. Especially toddler teatime which is about when my energy levels are on the floor in general. And there are SO MANY MEALTIMES and I'm sick of being the one to supervise every single one of them.

So, yeah. Maybe just do it for now, and then once nurseries go back make it a plan to work on table manners and proper social eating etiquette before she starts school? :) Could be a good compromise.

@missyB1
From your first sentence I absolutely do believe you 😊
But not all families are the same.