Newborn sleep

[Cha13]

Just looking for some advice around sleep as I am a FTM.

My DS is 3weeks old and during the day does not sleep unless it is on me or my DH or when we go for our daily walk. He will sleep in his moses basket on a night from about 11pm to 1am and again between 1:30/2am to about 3:30/4am, after that he will just cry after about 5-10mins after being put down by himself. I have already tried white noise, swaddling, warming the mattress, covering mattress with a top I have worn so that he had my scent, but none of these are working. I don't want to do co-sleeping if I can help it, but is there anything else I can try?

Thanks for your help

The answer here is persistence.

Given your baby is only 3 weeks old, you cannot have tried anything with enough consistency for it yo show it's helping. There hasn't been enough time. You need to try something consistently for a good 3 weeks in total to see a difference. Just one or two days and declaring "This doesn't work" is probably the only issue here.

So it's easily solved, just keep trying what you're already doing. But do it consistently, for all and every sleep. And keep doing it even in the face of it appearing to make no difference. It will.

I'm this newborn stage, babies are comforted by womb-like conditions. This is why swaddling is particularly good for a newborn. It recreates the tight, securely held feeling of being in the womb. That same feeling is likewise mimicked when baby is in your arms. But swaddling meals you can put baby down and get some baby-free time.

Another thing that naturally soothes and comforts baby is sucking. This is why feeding baby often calms them to sleep. Brilliant independent (ie not requiring you) alternate to feeding to sleep is a dummy. Dummies are BRILLIANT, don't let middle class snobbery put you off. The sucking reflex is comforting for baby, helping them go to sleep.

See lullaby trust for advice on safe swaddling.

All that sounds really normal. Both of ours were held or walked to sleep at that age. I just sat and watched tv all day- something you really will never do again with young children (so it’s hard to appreciate the luxury of just being able to sit down at this point).

Nighttime sleep also sounds totally normal. The key was doing it in shifts. I had dh take baby at like 7pm after a feed and then I slept til 10/11 and then again until 12/1am. I would sleep then we’d switch and I would take over til the morning while dh slept. If possible, he’d get up and let me go back to sleep for an hour or so before he left for work. Dh would walk in circles for hours around the lounge if that’s what it took. It meant we each got a solid block of sleep every night. I was bf, but if you’re ff, it’s easier as you could literally sleep 7-1 and that would be amazing. And then your partner could sleep 1-6 ish.

It won’t be like this forever. I started getting almost normal amounts of sleep again when mine were like 8-12 weeks, even with some night wakings.

@FATEdestiny I'm going through the same motions each time it comes to sleep. I have tried a range of different sounds, but perhaps just need to stick to one white noise sound. I also need to get DH on the same page, as he just does his own thing which may be unsettling DS. I keep trying the swaddling but DS will just scream to be released, doesn't seem to like his hands enclosed. Have found a video demonstrating a swaddle technique which frees the hands, so will try that. We have been using a dummy to some success to get him to self soothe, but I have been in and out of bed since 3:30 to give it back to him every 5-15mins 🙈.

@mindutopia phew glad it sounds normal! I've got my fingers crossed DS starts to sleep properly in his cot/moses basket soon. Yes, it's been a godsend being able to sleep at 8pm as DH will take over (he's usually able to put DS down to sleep in the moses basket at about 10-11pm) and then I get up during the night. Just hoping DH will continue to help when he goes back to work on Monday; think that's probably why I'm so worried about the sleeping as I'll be left alone with DS