Time for bed, where to sleep?

[Coyney90]

Hi everyone,
New here and also a first time mum! Our little one will be 6 weeks old this weekend.

My question - we’re trying to do bedtime routines, generally he has a feed at 8 and we’re ready to put him to bed just before 9.

Generally my husband and I aren’t ready to go to bed that early but I know he has to stay in the same room as us so what do you do?

Really I’m three children in and have found it more than manageable .

Well unfortunately most parents in my experience don’t find it manageable. Of course we all want to follow the guidelines as much as possible so it would be great for you to share your wisdom and explain how you managed so well. If you’re 5 and a half month old baby is overstimulated by noise and light, gets overtired, gets cranky due to over tiredness and then definitely can’t get to sleep, but nods off happily within 30 seconds in a darkened quite room - but you can’t sit quietly with them in that room because you also have an active toddler to take care of - what should you do?

Honestly? I'm sure people will flame me for this, and yes I am aware of the guidelines but my 6 week old goes to sleep in our bedroom between 8 and 9 and stays there with a monitor on until I go to bed at 10. I'll often pop in to check on him but that time relaxing with my husband baby free really helps keep me sane.

@Pinkblueberry You’re being silly- like I said there is a big difference between a 6 week old and a 5.5month old who will probably do bath and bed at the same time as a toddler.

When mine were that age they had their bedtimes together. At 6 weeks the crying and fuss of a new born would have disturbed my toddler and so the baby would be brought downstairs.
The OP only has one child so your point in invalid and off topic anyway.

@T0rt0ise I think that’s fine & its not my business anyway. You’re checking on your baby in between the hour that you’ve left them, maybe grabbing dinner and returning to your baby after an hour.
It a bit different than leaving baby in bed at 7 and not returning until 11 .

What exactly do you find so difficult about it Pinkblueberry?

I've had 4 children. They've all had naps downstairs until such an age that naps are longer (90 min plus) and evenings downstairs until such an age that they're not waking up after 7pm until gone midnight. Mostly that's been around 5-7 months old. We did downstairs sleeps in the bouncy chair, so these naturally had to move on when baby is sitting anyway - so about the same age.

In terms of practicalities with multiple children, in our house the far bigger ball ache would have been settling baby to sleep upstairs when several toddlers / older children needed me downstairs. Likewise the impracticality of needing to rush upstairs to resettle if baby wakes too soon. FAR, FAR easier to do a but of a voice with my foot and dummy inset, while sitting on sofa or floor playing with toddlers.

Goes to show that different families do things very differently.

Your assumption most parents don’t find it manageable is a huge generalisation. You simply will not know.

Voice = bounce

No useful advice to give them sauvignon? You’re about as helpful as a breastfeeding coach whose baby happily and easily latched on within half an hour of being born. Since you can’t offer any insight on exactly how you got your babies to nap so well in the same room as you up until they were 6 months I'm going to assume they just happened to be ‘good’ sleepers. That’s not ‘managing fine’ on your part though, it’s just good luck. Most of us aren’t so lucky though - that doesn’t mean we’re not managing and it’s very rude of you to judge us for not following guidelines to the extent that we would ideally like to. You say you’re ‘three children’ in, I’m presuming you plan to have more - I hope the next one sleeps as easily as the previous ones but unfortunately karma does have a way of biting the smug and judgemental up the arse.

This thread is about a first time mum with a 6 WEEK old baby.

What you did when your second child was five
and a half MONTHS old isn't really relevant.

On this kind of thread i.e. one about health and safety essentially, it's quite unhelpful to muddy the waters imo.

@Pink-blueberry When mine were that age they had their bedtimes together. At 6 weeks the crying and fuss of a new born would have disturbed my toddler and so the baby would be brought downstairs.

Did you read that ok?

At 5.5months bath toddler and baby together .
At 6weeks I’d bath baby , place in chair , bath toddler.
Read toddler story and let them go to sleep.
Bring baby downstairs . Is that helpful.

All done on my own whilst husband was away while breastfeeding....I hope you’re suitably impressed with my parenting . Now if you could take your hostile , argumentative personality out to the garden and chill out for a minute that would be great. You seem very wound up.

@NuffSaidSam Exactly.

@NuffSaidSam of course, that’s why I replied to the OP to say keep the baby in a Moses basket with them. I then saw a comment that stated babies should ‘definitely’ have all sleeps in the same room until 6 months and I simply commented that to many parents (according to what I’ve observed among friends and many threads on MN) that is difficult advise to follow. I’m not the one who began a conversation about older babies...

@sauvignonblancplz I was asking about daytime naps, so no not particularly helpful. But thanks anyway.

@Pinkblueberry The OP has asked about night time.... why are you being so goady?

The baby always slept downstairs in their Moses basket at that age .... always ! And never seemed bothered by the toddler.
Sometimes the baby would have slept in the pram or be brought out the garden if the weather was nice.
I always loved when the baby was asleep as it meant you could get some time with the toddler , which generally kept the place quiet enough to help the baby sleep soundly.
It was also a nice opportunity to cuddle on the sofa if I was having a particularly stressed time with two young children.
I would never have left a six week old baby upstairs to sleep for any nap.

My DD was about 12 weeks before I started putting her upstairs to bed before us. Before that she'd just sleep in the moses basket in the same room as us.

We started a bedtime routine when ours started to sleep 7-11pm until then they slept in the pram downstairs.
Which was roughly 3 months old.
No.1 & 2 slept in our room until 6 months and No.3 until 17 months.

I would never have left a six week old baby upstairs to sleep for any nap.

Neither would I have done @sauvignonblancplz. Mine napped in the same room as me until he was about 4 months old. But I appreciate that others may not be able to do so for as long as that as all babies are different and some sleep more easily than others - and I am therefore cautious about judging others for doing differently and quoting Lullaby Trust at them for it.

quoting Lullaby Trust at them for it

But it's really important that all parents know the lullaby trust advice. Because it's what the NHS and government advise.

Some people choose not to follow safer sleep advice. But that is a personal decision based on their own risk management ideas.

You, or anyone, saying "I didn't follow advice and it was fine" isn't going to help the OP make an informed choice.

To put it very bluntly - if the OPs baby was to die of SIDS, it is the OP who must live with this. The choice she us making with regards to safe sleep can only be a person one, because the fact others took risks makes no difference to the unfortunate families this affects.

The only possible way to assess if the risk is worth it is to know the facts. Then make an informed choice to follow the guidance, or not. And if not, it is only to oneself that the risk needs to be justified.

No one is quoting Lullaby Trust in a judgmental way.

Quite the opposite.