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Parenting

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Original poster

If your kids are 3/4 years apart in age, how do they get on?

32 replies

Pantheon · 16/04/2020 10:56

Just curious as we're postponing ttc no 2 due to the current situation, so would probably be a 3 - 4 year age gap. In some ways I think this would suit us as a family anyway, but just wanted to know how close siblings are. Thanks!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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troppibambini · 16/04/2020 11:04

I have 15,9,6 and 5.
The middle two are just over 3 years apart. Girl is 9 and boy is 6 to be honest they get on ok but not particularly close. They will play together but are usually doing their own thing.
9 and 5 year old are closer.
5 and 6 are super close infact we call them the krays.
5.5 years between the oldest two. They can be close but also annoy each other at times.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 16/04/2020 11:06

Having a 3 year age gap was great but as fit how they get on? They get on like Itchy & Scratchy, they fight, they fight, they fight, fight, fight, fight.

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 16/04/2020 11:09

I don’t think the gap matters - it’s down to personality. Mine are ds16, dd14, ds12 & dd8 and I’d say the two that are closest and get on best are ds12 & dd8, they have the same sense of humour and are always laughing together. The eldest two were very close when they were younger but although they still get on they don’t really spend any time together. The two that bicker most are dd14 and ds12 - they just seem to clash. Dd14 is usually the cause of the arguments!

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BarefootHippieChick · 16/04/2020 11:12

DDs just over 3 years apart, both teens now and get on brilliantly, always have done. They're each others best friend. Maybe helps that they're both girls, and their personalities just mesh well together.

mnahmnah · 16/04/2020 11:16

I have a 5 year gap between mine. They behave in exactly the same way as people I know with less than two years gap, or any other gap. It’s about personality. Sometimes they’re great, others they’re not. I used to really worry about the age gap. There’s really no need to. Have your children when it is bests for you. Whether they get on or not is a totally separate matter!

user1494055864 · 16/04/2020 11:18

I don't think age gap makes a difference, there will always be sibling rivalry whatever the gap. My age gap is 3.5 years and they got on so well when they were little, but once youngest got to about 9 and was getting more of her own mind, rather than looking up to her big sister constantly, that's when the bickering started. I don't think a day goes by where one of them doesn't upset the other one, even if only a minor fall out. They can be friends, and go out together, have a laugh etc, but it normally ends in tears.

AmericanAdventure · 16/04/2020 11:18

Depends on so much. My older sister and I were 4 years apart.... She hated me and we fought (physically) for years. My younger sister and I have 4 years between us and I adore her. My kids have just under 4 years apart and they idolise one another.

ProfYaffle · 16/04/2020 11:22

3 years between my girls, now 13 and 16. They get on really well.

The gap had stretched and shrunk at various times. Usually when the eldest has gone up a stage, eg when she started school and dd2 was still at home, then again when she started high school but dd2 was still at Primary. At those times they became a little distant but it passes.

When dd2 went up to high school they became close again. Since lock down it's been great, they've turned to each other instead of their friends.

Basilandparsleyandmint · 16/04/2020 11:27

3 and 1/2 between mine and they get on usually quite well.

Iris243 · 16/04/2020 12:31

I am wanting the same (if Dh agree as he isn’t keen on another child).

My little girl will be 2 in July, if I can even start ttc I can’t imagine we’d be able to get anything less than a 3 year age gap.

I have half siblings that are 9 years younger than me, and we get on amazing so I don’t think it matters too much.

thaegumathteth · 16/04/2020 12:36

Mine got on amazingly until dd was about 5 and ds 9. They are 9 and 13 now and they do still get on when it suits them but they have quite different personalities.

Fairylillie · 16/04/2020 12:41

I have a four year old and a 10 month old and they adore each other. The baby follows his brother around everywhere and wants everything he has. The older one is always kissing and cuddling his baby brother but I have to constantly remind him to be gentle and that the baby can't take the rough and tumble that his four year friends can take.

myfav · 16/04/2020 12:58

About 3.4 years between DC2 and DC3. They're both still young but DC2 loves DC3, always wanting to help and entertain her etc. Definitely an easier gap than two under two as well.

HuloBeraal · 16/04/2020 13:00

Exactly 5 years. Both boys. Adore each other. Of course they fight. But they play nicely too. One of the nicest things about this lockdown is watching them go off into the garden, make a den and play imaginary games. It’s allowed my older son to play more ‘childish’ imaginative games with his little brother.

SingingSands · 16/04/2020 13:53

4yr gap for my two.

They get on better than I did with my brother, who was 2 yrs younger.

Mrsbclinton · 16/04/2020 13:56

I have 2 yrs between DD1 & DD2
almost 3 years between DD2& DS1

Middle child gets on with both siblings. Older and younger dont get on almost 5 year gap between them, but I think it could be personality rather than ages.

mooching · 16/04/2020 14:11

DD Is 4 years older than her brother (13 and 9) and they're really close and adore each other. Fight too but that's to be expected!

LetItGoHome · 16/04/2020 14:18

There is 3.5 years between my two. Girl and boy, 4&8. They are best friends. They obviously have the odd fall out but they are as thick as thieves. I agree with the others. Probably more down to personality rather than age.

Original poster

Pantheon · 16/04/2020 14:39

Thanks everyone. Seems like age gap doesn't make that big a difference and it's mainly personality. Good to know as I know some people who think kids need to be close in age to get on well. My db and I have 5 years between us, and have always got on fine but maybe not as close as some siblings.

OP posts:

Rockbird · 16/04/2020 14:46

Mine are four years to the day and they hate each other. They are constantly at each other's throats.

Rockbird · 16/04/2020 14:47

12 and 8 if that makes a difference.

midnightstar66 · 16/04/2020 14:49

Mine are 3 years and 2 months apart. It started out ok with DD1 being a helpful and loving sister. Sadly it turned out dd2 isn't so helpful and loving so the fighting began but DD1 mostly tolerated it for a while, now though she doesn't and it's often like ww3 in my house. They are 7 and 10

Zisforstripyoss · 16/04/2020 14:53

My DC have the exact same gap that I have with my brother. (3 years 8 months) They get on like a house on fire, it's lovely to watch. My brother and I did not get on at all, we fought like cat & dog, physically as well. We're better now as adults and dare I say it, I actually quite like him! I think it's down to personality rather than age gap.

justanotherneighinparadise · 16/04/2020 14:54

Three and s bit gap here and they get on brilliantly.

ICantBelieveInYou · 16/04/2020 14:54

I have a brother 2 years older and another 3 years younger. My relationship with them is and always way pretty much the same for both.

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