Any likeminded no-routine parents out there?

[jamtomorrow1]

We have a seven month old who has no fixed routine, is breastfed and sleeps in a next-to-me. He naps when he feels like it, usually on me or his dad, eats when he’s hungry (starting to have some solids at the same time as we have lunch and dinner), has a bath and his pjs on after dinner and then snoozes on me until we go to bed and he comes with us. Our son sleeps very well at night. We are getting on well and are happy - but we are literally the only parents we know who don’t obey a routine or have a set bedtime. Anyone else do something similar? It’s lonely in the no-routine club!

We didn't have any routine with DS when he was a baby. The only difference was that after 7, his "naps" we're in his cot. He has always been a good sleeper (he's nearly 4 now).

He was at nursery from quite young so he had a routine for food but we asked them to be led by him when it came to naps.

I would say I’m a no-routine parent given the choice. However, not all of my kids cope well with that. My ds2 in particular needs a clear bedtime with a visual routine otherwise he can’t fall asleep. (He’s possibly additional needs, not yet diagnosed).

I’m still a big fan of flexible whenever possible but remember that good parenting adapts to the child. Be aware that your child may be happier with a routine at some point. I found this very hard but it made a big difference to our household.

Haven’t read the whole threat but my DS is exactly the same as yours OP. We’re both happy and I have no plans to enforce a routine until I need to - thinking like probably before school?!
I’m a shift worker as is DP so absolutely no point. Happy baby happy parents. He has gained weight, met all his milestones and is generally happy and healthy. Don’t see any reason. If you’re happy and relaxed and so is baby then crack on. It’s just whatever works for you guys.

Out of curiosity how do you make sure they get enough sleep without routine? Or does yours nap anywhere? We have serious overtired issues if we don't put him down to nap well in advance. Even then it doesn't always work. It's a real stress.

@HelloItsmeAgain1 - DS is EBF and feeds to sleep so he’ll sleep most places. He’ll go in the car (eventually) or sling if we’re out. Although now he wakes easier if we’re out as he’s more alert. He won’t nap at all if he’s put down. He has horrific reflux, hates lying down even on meds. The only way he’ll even lies down at night is co-sleeping and he still often wakes due to being sick etc. We just fit in with what he needs. I’m on mat leave until he’s 1, so until then I’ll do whatever keeps us both the happiest. I try to keep daytime naps anywhere/ noisy etc but night time I do dim lights and keep noise to a min. We still watch the tv and stuff and I just take him to bed when I go.

HelloItsmeAgain1 - I didn’t know there were different sorts of Next to Me! There’s still plenty of room for junior in there and he doesn’t pull himself up on things so I think it’s perfectly safe. I think when he starts standing up he’ll need to go into something with higher sides (currently trying to persuade husband to take the side off the big cot and lash it to our bed... he’s not going for it....).

Thanks to everyone for all of your replies. Good to know that I am not mad! My husband and I both work irregular hours so set bedtimes and junior disappearing upstairs at seven would just be miserable for all of us. At some point I expect we’ll have to bite the bullet but right now the relaxed approach seems to be working.

My first child was like this - she never slept! We ended up doing as you do...and when no 2 came along, he fitted in (and slept everywhere along the way). It’s hard in that you don’t get “your evening”, but I think it’s a lot easier when they’re older as they are able to be very adaptable. It’s swings and roundabouts. If it works for you, I’d stick with it.