18 month old battering head.

[waterjungle]

My 18 month old DS is going through the almighty temper phase. I know this is normal however it’s the head banging that is a concern

He has always thrown his head backwards whenever something he objects to is happening. He has frequently really hurt me doing this. If I put him down he will find the nearest hard surface to batter his head against, the floor or wall for example.

He does it in his cot at night the moment he wakes. He will launch himself from standing forwards or backwards into the bars or head of the cot, he sometimes waits until I am about to pick him up to do it. I’ve even seen him back up on all fours just so he can get a run up to ram his head harder.

He is almost permenantely bruised on his forehead. I know people say he won’t actually hurt himself but the bruising is awful. If I pick him up during these episodes he will try to head butt me. If I put he down he will head butt the floor or go to a wall and do it.

This afternoon after he spent 30 mins in my arms trying to head butted me a claw at my face, I tried to put him in his cot until he calmed down, I sat where he could see me and tried to soothe him but 20 mins later he was still screaming and battering his head on the bars. What is the best way to deal with it? I’m at a loss and feel terrible.

Hi Op it's normal my DS use to throw awful temper tantrums and would smack his head on the wall floor anything really I was always told they won't hurt themselves like not smacking head on sharp corners etc but it's normal it's they're way of dealing with so many emotions and frustrations.

Is your DS able to communicate with you talking much? My DS has a speech delay he's now just turned 3years old currently going through a few things to help him but he no longer head bangs now.
I was always told to ignore them and leave them to it so long as there was nothing in the way he could hurt himself or best thing that worked for me was distraction as soon as I could see him about to start a tantrum I'd try and turn it around by offering him his favourite toy taking him outside or favourite snack etc anything to just try and distract him

Another thing op I know easier said than done but it makes it worse when you try and restrain them I've been there when DS has been flying his head backwards and forwards at me when picking him up but try and lead him away instead with his favourite distractions or as said and I know it's just as hard try and ignore it and perhaps sit it out until he's had his tantrum and you can talk to him again all the best op

Thanks for the reply. Funnily enough we had the health visitor on the phone this morning regarding questions we had asked about his speech.
He has very few words (mama, dada, bye-bye). He understands a lot more but doesn't say a lot other than BA! His brother spoke unnaturally early so we try not to compare. The health visitor says that's all quite normal and until he is over 2 not to worry.

I just worry about the bruising and that people will think we are hurting him! I'd like to think he stops if he hurts himself but doesn't seem to. We have hard wood floors and he has no qualms about flipping backwards from sitting and banging the back of his head. If I try distraction he launches himself at me!

ahh bless he sounds exactly like my little boy it is hard going but honestly don't worry about people thinking your causing the bruises anyone who has children know they bump themselves a heck of a lot

I know it's easier said than done because I've been there pulling my own hair out when my DS has been having major tantrums but they eventually grow out of them it does pass and right now today's circumstances won't be helping them out with lockdown it's tough even for little ones I'm finding that right now with my two if you ever do have any doubts always give your health visitor a chase and push for referrals if you feel something isn't quiet right always trust your own instincts all the best op

My DD (20mo) has done this since she was 1yo. She has recently been referred to be assessed for autism.

She was non verbal until a few weeks ago but saying words hasnt made a difference.

But she is showing lots of autistic signs tho. Although I want her checked for PANDAS or PANS since she went from a calm, shy placid 1yo into an aggressive baby who screams constantly and for no reason at all, violent, self harms and has developed quite a few ticks.

I sympathise with you, it's so exhausting and mentally draining. They do grow out of it tho, I have an adult DS with ASD and he outgrew it.

I was thinking why don't you have cot bumpers but I've just read they are now considered to be unsafe, I can't imagine why if they're the right size and properly fitted but it seems the current advice is not to have them. Everyone did when mine was wrong.

Does he have cot toys and/or anything musical? He obviously needs positive stimulation and something which will absorb and sooth him.

I can't begin to imagine how wearing all this is for you, waterjungle, especially the violence from such a young child who doesn't even know he is actually being violent or even what it is. I do hope you receive some good help, better still that it is a phase which soon passes.