Please help me regarding my daughter not sleeping in her cot!

[MissRose1]

I am really at my wits end :( my 1 year old use to co-sleep with me as she hated her cot, now I want to break this habit and sometimes she is good sleeping in her cot now. However, the past few nights especially she’s been waking up several times/once. I cannot seem to settle her in her cot, controlled crying doesn’t really stop her, my back hurts getting her to sleep in her room, so I’ve resorted in taking her back to my bed then carrying her in. I keep falling asleep and it’s really angering me now I get so annoyed with myself. Please can someone help who’s had a baby who couldn’t self soothe or couldn’t be soothed easily?
Makes me remember when she was a newborn, how the hell did I stay awake then! Probably because I knew I couldn’t co - sleep then!

My DD was the same. Completely resistant to any sort of sleep training and hated her cot. We saw a slight improvement when we just put the cot mattress on the floor, and again once she could walk and we converted the cot to toddler bed. We still co-slept from first wake up though. To be honest though it was just time, and she didn’t really start to settle easily until she was 2.

I know it feels like you’ll never get through it, but at nearly 3 DD sleeps like a dream now. Asleep between 7-8 after a couple of stories. She sometimes still climbs in with us in the early hours but doesn’t wake us. I’m sorry I can’t offer any useful advice, but I feel it might have been a little easier for me to deal with at the time if I hadn’t been worrying about the ‘bad habits’ I was creating and that she’d never ever sleep, in addition to just making it through the sleep deprivation. Hope things improve for you soon!

@KTCluck
Thank you so much. Guess I’ll have to live with it. What prevented you falling asleep? I don’t know how I did it many months ago. I’m just so annoyed with myself - feel like a crap mother!

They go through phases with it IME. I won't be any help as I have always just co-slept through the bad parts and persevered with the cot when it's going better!

Why does that make you crap? It's fine. They grow out of it. The idea that you can "teach" them to self soothe by leaving them to cry is a gigantic lie anyway, it doesn't even make logical sense.

She's one so you're past any danger point. If you're getting sleep and she's getting sleep, don't worry about it.

Go straight to a bed. Ds1 hated his cot and never slept in it - he co-slept with us then went straight into a bed. Beds are easier to re-settle too - you can lay next to them, easily cuddle while they lie down etc. If necessary, use a mattress on the floor until your daughter can climb in and out of a bed (although toddler beds are quite low anyway).

Good idea @KatnissK
The cot she has is a cot - bed. I shall try that. She is a good walker anyway. Yeah, it’s a pain trying to settle them in the cot when it’s so low! I’m new on here so I may be asking for advice on lots of things that’s been on my mind recently! I worry too much and feel like an awful mother if not achieved what I wanted to

My two year old has recently become a bad sleeper, and wakes in the night. I just pop him into bed with me and he falls straight asleep. The way I see it, I could battle with him for ages to get him to go down in his cot or we could co sleep and we could all get some sleep immediately. Life is too short imo to battle children in the middle of the night to get them to sleep when you yourself are tired.

They grow out of it anyway, my 6 year old was the same but now happily sleeps in his own bed all night.

I didn’t try and stay awake. I tried to encourage her to go back to bed when she woke, but if she put up a fight then we all got more sleep if I just let her in. She’s a stubborn one! You’re absolutely not a crap mum. By all means, try and encourage her to go back into her own bed, but if some nights it doesn’t work and she ends up back in with you that doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you did what she needed that night and optimised sleep for you both. Some little ones quickly learn to get themselves back to sleep, others take longer. Good luck!

Some nights she’s been an angel ❤️
One night I remember she went down at around 10pm, woke up at 11am the following morning. Wow, think I blitzed the whole house. It’s hit or miss at the moment. Thank you 😊