6 year old keeps having accidents

[TigersDreams]

My just turned 6 year old son was hard to potty train and wasn't out off nappies during the day till he was 4 and a half. Poos he's really strugging with and point blank refuses to poo on the toilet. He will go his underwear or night time pull up. Many doctor appointment and he's been accessed for constipation which they have ruled out.

Now since the lockdown he's started to wet himself not a full wees but enough to need changing. Today he's had to change his underwear 7 times so far and had two poo accidents which he's hiding when he's gone so he knows what he's doing.

I'm asking him if he needs to toilet when eh starts holding himself but he's now starting to shout and me and telling me to leave him alone! Getting really fed up with the non stop washing.

Sorry just to add that I do ask him why he does it and he says he doesn't know. I made him change his own wet underwear but change his dirty underwear. I have tried rewards with no success. I have tried talking away his ipad but it still happens

I don’t have any experience with this sorry, op. Maybe it’s the stress of lockdown exacerbating any kind of toilet anxiety/phobia. For now maybe the kindest thing to do would be to put him back in nappies but make him change himself ( with a little help)?

I didn't really want to do that but it looks like I will have to thank you

Sounds like anxiety or embarrassment, i don't think punishments or rewards are going to work there's obviously some underlying issue.
I'm assuming no history of abuse or any bad experience, or any other relevant such as ASD etc, it could just be he feels he can't ask for help or is worrying about consequences if he can't manage some aspect of the loo properly.
Try to work though things in your mind from his point of view and see if there's anything extra he might need support or understanding with. Another option is professional help from someone who deals with these things frequently.
Good luck.

No special needs or anything. He doesn't like public bathroom or using the bathroom at school. He would ask for a nappy to poo in when he was a little bit younger but that's now stopped since moving to pull ups and he's ended up going in his underwear if he can't make it till the nighttime pull up. I'm thinking it could be anxiety as he's a very shy little boy.

He hide when he's had a accident so he's got to be embarrassed but doesn't tell me or my partner. It takes a little talking to him before he will come out and get changed. Also just to add and really sorry about tmi but his poo aren't normal they are soft but not like a upset tummy poo.

What ever you do it sounds like you need to avoid punishment etc and try to use understanding and convince him you're on his side. If he's that shy and embarrassed it sounds like he needs help rather than anything else. Good luck.

Hi, if you haven’t already (and there are no underlying mental health issues etc) I would do the following:
First look at fluid intake - is he drinking plenty of water especially in the morning through to the afternoon? No sugary drinks.
Diet - is he getting a balanced diet? Plenty of fruit, veg fibre? Non sugary cereal?
Is he getting plenty of exercise? Not sitting still for long periods?
I would particularly focus on ensuring your son has a large beaker of water first thing in the morning (doesn’t have to be drunk all at once).
If all these things are ticked and he is a happy boy - you might consider buying a story book relating to this subject?
X x x