PND- I don’t recognise myself and don’t know how to get help.

[thebearandthemare]

So, this is really, really hard to put into words but I’m a mum of two and I think I’m suffering quite badly from PND or some variation of it. I’m a naturally anxious person so I think it’s been hard to register the signs but I wonder if it’s been bubbling since having my eldest over 4 years ago. I’m constantly stressed, negative and snappy and struggle to make decisions because I’m so tired. This sounds awful but I feel like every little request from my kids is just another job to add to an insurmountable list and I’m constantly moaning 🙁 I just can’t keep on top of anything and it feels like drowning. I want to find joy in each day and every night I promise myself I will start afresh in the morning but I can’t. I just don’t recognise myself as the person I want to be, let alone the parent my children deserve.

I finally realised that this wasn’t ‘normal’ a few weeks ago and had resolved to contact my HV or GP... then the situation with the virus came about and I’ve come to a standstill.

I realise it’s a tough time for us all at the moment and I am very fortunate in lots of ways but I’d be very grateful for advice. Does this sound like PND? How can I help myself? I don’t want to feel like this anymore and feel so sad that I’m tainting my children (and partner’s) lives with my miserable attitude.

I don't know about external help, but internally, let yourself off the hook. If you feel crap, you feel crap. Pressuring yourself to feel better won't make you feel better, it'll just make you feel guilty.

It's ok, you know. Feeling rubbish is rubbish, but it is ok. It's allowed, and it's normal.

I understand how you feel - being so exhausted and everything seeming insurmountable. Antidepressants helped me, personally. Depression was like my thoughts being poisoned, and meds helped to lift that. If I were you I’d ask for a telephone appointment and hopefully a prescription.

I'm sorry you're feeling like this OP. And the present situation means all the usual coping strategies are that much harder to implement.

Do seek a telephone assessment, there's no need to delay this because of corona. Your GP is a good place to start but also find out via Google if there are any charities or IAPT (improving access to psychological therapies) services you can self refer to in your area. Say it is for PND, they often prioritize this highly.

My set help tip is to identify one thing you enjoy doing (and is feasible at the moment), look at your week and work out how you can make time for that one activity, then do it. Meaningful, purposeful activity is so important for human wellbeing but it's important you get additional professional support too 💚

Definitely call your GP. I'm experiencing a delay in CBT treatment but I'm also taking medication which hasn't been affected by the pandemic. I'm not being over dramatic when I say I feel like a different person.

Call the doctor for a referral. I've been doing counselling for a couple of weeks now and I feel like I'm starting to come out the other side. Everything I've done apart from the initial GP appointment has been from home so hopefully CV won't delay things too much.