Stopping breastfeeding 12 weeks feeling so guilty

[Napqueen1234]

I have a beautiful 11 week old. Second baby couldn’t bf first and was able to (sort of) DC2. Struggled with tongue tie, needed lots of support and have only ever been able to feed with nipple shields.
I like many people have been incredibly stressed with covid and the difficulties of isolation/lockdown. Demanding 3 year old means lovely moments breastfeeding lazily for hours are non existent and I feel all feeds feel rushed and stressful trying to distract older DC. It was easier when DC1 was in nursery but now so so hard.
My supply has been crap- one boob has completely dried up cannot hand express or express anything out of it for 2 weeks. Have continued to put baby to breast but they quickly get furious as no milk so 90% of feeds on ‘good’ boob which isn’t great. Have been giving formula at BF specialist advice top ups from 9 weeks and now bf bad boob (goes crazy) bf good boob (ok feed but unsettled) then top up formula (5oz or so so cannot be getting much from the boob).
I just want to cry and cry. I was desperate to BF. I tried everything and used shields as that was what was needed even though a PITA. DH is incredibly supportive either way but has seen how stressed and difficult I find having the two and has gently suggested we switch to formula full time as DC2 just has a proper full feed and is so much happier and more settled.
I know in the grand scheme of everything that’s happening this is small. I think because everything is so out of control I feel awful that it’s another thing that’s just gone tits up beyond my control. I feel so guilty.

Please don't feel guilty. Feel proud of yourself for making it this far. What an amazing achievement given all those things going on around you. It's completely fine to switch to formula, and in the future you will look back on those 12 weeks and think "wow I really persevered with thay".
You sound like an amazing mum...because the fact you are even so worried about this shows how much you care and it's a decision.not taken lightly.
My feeling is that being a mum is hard enough when there isnt a pandemic....so dont do anything that makes it even harder. Therefore, if moving to formula makes things more manageable on the whole, that's a massive win.

Youve done everything right, youve made sure your baby got all the antibodies and goodness they needed from breast milk, and all the necessary calories from formula. Absolve yourself of guilt, you're an excellent mum.

Congratulations on making it this far. I lasted two weeks and felt like the worst person in the entire world. We even paid privately for tongue tie and I gave up the day after. I couldn't sleep with guilt it was terrible. My poor husband was so concerned about me and he was subjected to tears a handful of times. Everyone kept on saying 'you've given him the best start in life and he dosent care where the milk comes from as long as he is being fed' it didnt help at all at first. I can completely understand how people suffer from PND because I honestly think if I had carried out I would head down that route.

I find it hard being out and about because I'm not very confident and if I started stressing the baby would stress and i would struggle to latch. My husband had to hold his hands back for me to get him on. When he returned to work all hell broke loose.

Part of me now thinks if I'd have just lasted that little bit longer especially on lockdown I could have dedicated my days to breastfeeding then I give me hesd a wobble and tell myself i did the right thing.

Hope you are okay and in time with feel the same. Xx

12 weeks is absolutely fantastic!!!! Well done on doing that! Never feel guilty you should be so proud of yourself!!!!

Thanks fo

Sorry! For all your pock

Aargh my phone is being mad! Thanks for your lovely replies. I thought I’d have to wean off a bit but today I haven’t breastfeed and no discomfort or leaking or anything. Seems the boobs have given up the ghost without any complaint 😬

I was told by me breast-feedi g consultant (US) that at 12 weeks, 84% of the benefits of breast-feeding have been transferred

What a reassuring statistic thank you @mumsnut

You’ve done absolutely brilliantly bf for 12 weeks. I managed 6-8 weeks combi feeding (milk never came in properly) before switching to formula.

My inability to bf really ramped up my pnd. I felt so awfully guilty and like I was a terrible mother at the time (ivf babies, elcs, ff, couldn’t do anything ‘naturally’ etc). It all seemed such a big deal at the time, but nobody else including myself cares now!

I felt no pain or anything when I stopped after realising I was driving myself mad.

Well done for all the bf you’ve done and for everything you’ve gone through to get here.

You’re welcome. She was a tremendous lady, she proved correct in all the advice she gave
Me and got my D’s feeding when two others failed. So I’m confident she was right