If you had to leave your 13 month old DD for a week would you...

[artichokes]

If you had to leave your 13 month old DD for a week would you...
(a) Phone every night and get your DH to hold the phone to her ear so she could hear your voice?
(b) Not try and speak to her on the phone as it might upset her?

Also would you:
(i) Want your DH to look after her in her home so familiar things are about and her life is stable and familiar?
(ii) Want DH to take her across the country to his parents so he has help and so everything is new and exciting and she might not notice your absence so much?

a) and i)

I would go for the stay at home and keep things familiar option. Speak to her if you want to and if she wants to. Tbh, I find speaking to ds when I am away makes things harder, but that's just me!

b) and i)

a) and i)

but that's me. I'd probably be more upset than DD

a) and
(ii) so it feels like a little holiday for her and she might not miss you so much.
Why do you have to leave her? Work?

I know it will be harder on me than DD. I keep sobbing just thinking about it. Its a work trip and I am dreading it, I have never even left DD for one night. I have had to stop BF just for this trip .

I want to talk to her everynight but DH is worried it will upset her (she is usually happy being left with him, but wants me as soon as she sees me). DH wants to go to his parents but I think DD should have the continuity of her home and her routine (she never naps properly in a travel cot).

b) and ii)
A child at that age needs lots of affection and cuddles from whoever she is with. ANd she just won;t get the concept of the phone.

I had to do exactly this at 11 months.

I would avoid the phone - a bit too esoteric a concept at a year old! I'd say (i) is a better option, but if DH really needs the help, then go with (ii). Honestly, if she's getting lots of love from DH, she'll be fine.

Have DH email you photos every day, if possible.

Oh, and enjoy every minute. After all, as much as you miss DD and wish you were there, how often can you just go out to a movie or a bar or a jazz cafe or whatever takes your fancy after work hours? Do NOT spend the whole week pining - there's nothing you can do about it, so have as much fun as you can.

When DD was 12 months I left her for 5 days. Didn't really speak to her on phone as I was out of signal a lot and he took her to his parents to get help as he still had to work for 3 days. She had a ball and her grannie and granpa loved taking her out for walks and onto the bus so they could show her off. She didn't miss me at all and I missed her just a little.

artichokes, is there any compromise position?