Worried baby won't be ready for nursery..

[Gdizzle14]

Hiya,

I'm sorry if this has already been brought up I couldn't find anything but need to see if I'm over thinking or if anybody else is in the same boat.

My 6 month old (first child) will be going to nursery when I return to work in September (key worker). The thought of leaving him has always stressed me out but my plan to bolster that was to attend lots of classes so that I could see his confidence grown in new settings amongst different people.

Now I'm in isolation and he sees no one but me and my husband and goes nowhere except for a brief walk in the pram. My husband works in the emergency services so most of the time it's just me and baby at home. I feel sick at the thought of all of a sudden having to leave him where he knows no one having spent months with only me and his dad for physical contact. Its only April and this is already waking me up at night.

Is anybody else in a similar situation or does anyone have any advice?

Thankyou xxx

My LO started at nursery at 10 months. We had hardly done any classes or groups, he’d never been left with anyone other than DH and hadn’t really been around many people regularly at all as all our family are very far away. He was absolutely fine!!
He did two weeks of settling everyday for 90 mins building up to me/DH leaving him. I actually think that starting at that age really helped - the slightly older ones have more of a concept of being left. One thing we really focused on was making sure he understood ‘goodbye’ meant we were leaving but would be back later. So we obsessively said goodbye every time we left the room to get a tea etc but he knew we would then be back. And then made a big thing of saying goodbye to DH when he went to work etc.

Thankyou so much for sharing your experience, this makes me feel better already! I find it hard to keep perspective when I'm anxious and have convinced myself that it will traumatise him 🙈. Your tips are really helpful too thankyou, we do a lot of hellos but not goodbye so will start that now too! I hope the nursery have a good settling in system too.

Thanks again, I hope you and your family are staying well and safe xx

My baby started nursery at the beginning of march when he was 6.5 months old. I was also very anxious about it but he settled quickly and really enjoyed it. It was so disappointing that he only got to spend 1 month there (but he is now enjoying extra time with my partner whilst I work) but I know he will be fine when he goes back. It's hard not to worry but they are so adaptable.

My DD started at 12 months. Prior to that we had done classes etc but the longest she'd been apart from me was six hours at a time, and even then only on a handful of occasions. EBF and co-sleeping. She wailed on drop-off/pick up to start with, but now (I went back to work in Feb) goes in quite merrily and has a fab time there. The first few weeks felt rubbish for me, but they settle really quickly. She sleeps better for them too

I think leaving your baby to go to work feels daunting for a lot of Mums. Your baby will be fine

Like others have said there should be lots of settling in sessions and even if the current situation means there can't be, I'm sure your baby will be ok.

Please don't let this worry ruin the tone you have with him now

mines due to start at the beginning of June, also teacher, I feel the same as you. I was doing classes and we just created a plan so baby was away from me more than 30 minutes and it’s all gone to pot. So I’m here with you too. They’ll be fine I’m sure though. A lot more resilient than their parents

Have a chat with your childcare provider about the settle in sessions. We ended up doing more of them for an hour or so at a time, as she wasn't settling. In hindsight I think we should have done them for longer ie. half a day, as she was only getting over being upset when I picked her up again so she didn't have time to explore the room/play etc. I don't think the short sessions helped her.

I'm a childminder, and in my experience the most important things for the baby are that they can feed, sleep and get comfort away from mum so that's what I'd focus on.

If nursery have to start off teaching baby to feed and sleep away from you and find new ways to settle them then it will be a much, much harder start than if baby can already drink from a bottle or cup, go to sleep without you and be settled with a blanket/comfort toy/dummy.

Mine started nursery at 12 months, we had done some classes but not loads, he'd only been away from me for one night (and even then was still with his Dad). He was absolutely fine. The staff are professionals and settle loads of kids into nursery.

As much as you can given your DH's job, try and leave DC with him for periods of time and get DH to take plenty of turns at settling DC for naps, bedtime etc.
Nearer the time, if you are feeding to sleep, try and break that habit.

But otherwise try not to worry!

Young children are very adaptable and resilient, he will be fine. It will always be harder for you than for him, lockdown or no lockdown.

Thank you all for you advice, and apologies for the late response. You've given me lots to think about in preparation thankyou. Luckily he's napping well as of several weeks ago so long as he has his ewan sheep in his pram, and I'm starting to give him water in a cup at meal times with weaning. It waterfalls out of his mouth but hopefully by September he'll have cracked it 😂🙈.
I've emsiled our preferred nursery today and they've said he can have as many free settling in sessions as he needs, so I feel much better for the moment! Thankyou you all again xx

I did heaps of classes and groups with DS1, we literally did something every single day. He started Nursery at 11 months and hated it. Suffered with very extreme anxiety about it for about three years.

DS2 (very small gap) never went to a class because he was the grumpiest baby in the world. He loves Nursery, barely gives me a backward glance when he gets dropped off.

DD1 is a lockdown baby like yours. She'll either love Nursery (also going in September) or hate it, or something in between. But I don't believe that classes have anything to do with it.

Before about 2 the classes and groups are for you, not them. My DS1 doesn't remember them and is socially quite far behind his peers (he's nearly 5) so they made no difference.

Don't worry about this. You, like everyone else, have enough to worry about just now.

I didn't go to classes with DS and he had never been left with anyone for any real length of time. It had just been me and him every day, I was there when he woke up, I was there when he fell asleep. He'd never even slept in a cot before, or slept anywhere that wasn't attached to my boob.

He settled in to nursery beautifully (10 months), and still absolutely loves being there (or did, he's stuck with me again at the minute).

It's natural to worry and not want to leave them but your son will be absolutely fine. Nursery staff are great at settling babies, I swear they use some kind of magic.

DS started nursery in January at six months, having not really been away from me for more than a few hours and being an utter horror to settle for naps for anyone except my dad. Being as he doesn't believe in having them at all. He also, despite being overall a sunny and sociable wee thing, has absolutely no middle gears and gives no warning between having fun and having hysterics.

The first morning settling session he latched on to his keyworker and barely gave me a backwards glance. Didn't nap for them and got grumpy at lunch. Second settling session, he tried to throw himself out of my arms to get to the toys. Catnapped in the swinging chair and ate everything offered.

End of the first week he was napping by himself, had learned that Mama leaving means breakfast, only had one full-on meltdown and has loved it ever since. Was absolutely knackered coming home the first while though. I think he ate a few dinners while asleep.