2.5 year old bad behaviour, please help

[MissPepper8]

I have DC1 who turns 3 in July, we 2 weeks ago had another baby and it stems from there really.

DC1 stayed with my parents for 2 days while I was in hospital, DH went and spent lots of time explaining to him, playing with him, gift from baby ect just before I got home (he's quite a sharp kid, we've called my bump baby "x" from the start and he kissed my tummy every night).

So when I got home a day after, I kind of noticed an instant change in behaviour, he was more crazied I guess, my DM had noticed how wired he was. Its calmed down a bit but we are in an ever ending pattern of "no" to literally everything and well naughtiness.

For instance he has started climbing the ledge in our conservatory, he climbs DH desk and behind me or DH when we are feeding baby. We've explained calmly he could hurt himself but it's a massive game and he runs back unless I close the room off.

Second biggest issue is he's now biting us, or throwing things. He targets DH mostly, but bit me 4 times yesterday causing a bruise and DH today with teeth marks.

I know this is purely because of baby, he gets more jealous if DH has baby and wants to go potty if DH is changing baby or today he noticed me playing with baby and then he wanted the baby toys lying on my lap.

I just don't know how to deal with it, we started the "thinking cushion", so for the near killing himself and DH computer today, he got 2 minutes on his cushion in a quiet corner and he apologised, but then went and bit DH.

I've had to give up all breastfeeding because of this, its getting upsetting now as he is deep down a real sweet, caring little boy, I've never seen him like this he's almost insane for the last 3 hours of the day. First few days he wouldn't come near me, he always told me he loved me before bed but I hardly get kisses now.

If anyone can help with ideas on how to discipline this or deal with it, that would be lovely. As for activities too, I do crafts, hour in the garden, baking, all near every day but usually he's a kid that has time in nursery and spends the weekend with my family and his little cousin too.

Dd1 was like this when dd2 came along. It was because she was hurt and angry. Only thing that helped was having special "Mum and C time" while dh looked after dd2 and I took her out.

@SpeedwellBlue This is why I've had to give up all breastfeeding, I take him to bed most nights (baby's feed tends to be around then), I do an hour or more in our garden and we then do crafts or baking.

I'd say he's 95% good during it, I still get I'm not doing it or no when were drawing/crafting and it is something he loved doing before baby came along.

Hi OP sorry to hear you’ve given up breastfeeding. Whilst I don’t have experience of a new baby on my toddler, my 2.5yr olds behaviour recently have been appalling. I spoke to a few people who said it’s an age thing, I think it has a huge amount to do with a change in routine, no nursery no friends or family etc. It’s v hard but keep disciplining; and take deep breaths!

I think it's pretty normal for them to struggle with a new arrival. Add in the lockdown so not going out, no nursery, not seeing friends but without any real understanding of why as well as being 2 and it's a difficult mix! I've been grumpier than usual because of being stuck in, and I'm an adult!

Can you put him in charge of getting nappies and wipes when baby needs a nappy change? If he doesn't want to craft, what does he want to do? Mine is refusing to do drawing and painting, which is annoying because I'm trying to get him to make Easter cards, but is loving playdoh so we're doing that a lot. Is he getting enough exercise?

@OnlyFoolsnMothers I wanted to bf and have loads of milk but I got quite upset day 3 with the way he was, I was trying to bath him and baby was crying for a feed so it's had to go this way unfortunately as I felt terrible. Yes, I was totally depending on routine to help us through it to be honest (like nursery, my parents, my grandparents and his cousin) but all that's gone out the window as baby was born 5 days before lock down, so it's been a big change for him more than it should of been maybe.

@Burgerandchipvan Yeah like I said above, routine was going to help us through, he was so much better the last day he went to nursery but 3 days after, everything shutdown. He's keen on potty training right now (stickers ect) and is very eager to please us with it so we're continuing it, he's won't colour for me anymore either for Easter lol so I feel for you, but painting maybe? I was going to do toilet roll bunnies with him. He's also into water play and dinos so we've got a storage box he likes me to fill water and bath dinos.

He's not into helping much lol I just get "no thanks" he likes to help if DH makes or washes bottles, so might encourage DH to get him to help with it. I think we're going to add more outdoor excersie so after lunch a garden play and when DH finishes work (he works from home) well go for a walk too.